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Women of Color #13 - Page 8

post #141 of 845
Meanwhile a friend of mine noticed my Facebook status and wrote to me to say she can't believe I'm still charting, she's got a ParaGard and she LOVES the thing, can't reccomend it highly enough. Different stories, different experiences from different people. There's much research to be done.
post #142 of 845
DH and I are afraid of hormones, and latex and I don't get along well so we use the tried and true withdrawl method. It has worked for us for 5 years. Andrew was not planned, but he was definetly not an "ooops".
post #143 of 845
Quote:
Originally Posted by AndrewsMother View Post
DH and I are afraid of hormones, and latex and I don't get along well so we use the tried and true withdrawl method. It has worked for us for 5 years. Andrew was not planned, but he was definetly not an "ooops".
We tried that. And the one time we didn't...we got Amara.

We tried it with Terra too, and we never slipped, but got preg anyway.

?
post #144 of 845
Quote:
Originally Posted by wiksty View Post
We tried that. And the one time we didn't...we got Amara.

We tried it with Terra too, and we never slipped, but got preg anyway.

?

Don't say that. If I have another baby I would be in an awful position.
post #145 of 845
I know this one! What do you call people who use the 'withdrawl' method? Parents!

The deal is simple-- sperm can start leaking out of your body before your man has his big blowout, so to speak. It's considered entirely unreliable as birth control for that reason-- you have no idea how much of the gooey gooey is seeping out before the main event.

On the other hand, if you're using withdrawl in conjunction with charting and you're abstaining during fertile periods, you've got a good shot. You can always go back to condoms when you're fertile... but if you're like me (hyperfertile and paranoid) then you'll just want to stick with non-intercourse activities while you're fertile.
post #146 of 845
Quote:
Originally Posted by eilonwy View Post
I know this one! What do you call people who use the 'withdrawl' method? Parents!

The deal is simple-- sperm can start leaking out of your body before your man has his big blowout, so to speak. It's considered entirely unreliable as birth control for that reason-- you have no idea how much of the gooey gooey is seeping out before the main event.

On the other hand, if you're using withdrawl in conjunction with charting and you're abstaining during fertile periods, you've got a good shot. You can always go back to condoms when you're fertile... but if you're like me (hyperfertile and paranoid) then you'll just want to stick with non-intercourse activities while you're fertile.
NON INTERCOURSE????!!!

How do I chart if I haven't a cycle again yet?
post #147 of 845
Temperatures, cervical mucous and cervical position will still help you out-- with any luck, you'll know about ovulation before your first period. I *believe* that you'll want to count "day one" as the day your child was born and then just fast forward, but I could be mistaken about that. In any case, if you haven't had any fertility signs it probably won't hurt for you to call today "day one" and to just move from there.
post #148 of 845
Quote:
Originally Posted by eilonwy View Post
I know this one! What do you call people who use the 'withdrawl' method? Parents!

The deal is simple-- sperm can start leaking out of your body before your man has his big blowout, so to speak. It's considered entirely unreliable as birth control for that reason-- you have no idea how much of the gooey gooey is seeping out before the main event.

On the other hand, if you're using withdrawl in conjunction with charting and you're abstaining during fertile periods, you've got a good shot. You can always go back to condoms when you're fertile... but if you're like me (hyperfertile and paranoid) then you'll just want to stick with non-intercourse activities while you're fertile.
Withdrawl has worked for me, so I don't doubt the effectiveness of the method. I think the key is to not wait until the very last minute, but I am not the expert. DH is!!!!
post #149 of 845
Quote:
Originally Posted by eilonwy View Post
I know this one! What do you call people who use the 'withdrawl' method? Parents!

The deal is simple-- sperm can start leaking out of your body before your man has his big blowout, so to speak. It's considered entirely unreliable as birth control for that reason-- you have no idea how much of the gooey gooey is seeping out before the main event.

On the other hand, if you're using withdrawl in conjunction with charting and you're abstaining during fertile periods, you've got a good shot. You can always go back to condoms when you're fertile... but if you're like me (hyperfertile and paranoid) then you'll just want to stick with non-intercourse activities while you're fertile.
*whimpers* I hate when people point out that stuff leaks out before the "arrival" because while it freaks me out (hubby's not been condom friendly lately) cause i could get pregnant unexpectedly, it also frightens me that if he's been pulling out, HOW COME i AINT get pregnant yet? OmgIsSomethingWrongWithMe?WhatIfImInfertileAndDont KnowIt?

If I sound irrational, its cause i am, lol. Deep breaths.

*back to lurk mode*
post #150 of 845
Quote:
Originally Posted by eilonwy View Post
I know this one! What do you call people who use the 'withdrawl' method? Parents!

The deal is simple-- sperm can start leaking out of your body before your man has his big blowout, so to speak. It's considered entirely unreliable as birth control for that reason-- you have no idea how much of the gooey gooey is seeping out before the main event.

On the other hand, if you're using withdrawl in conjunction with charting and you're abstaining during fertile periods, you've got a good shot. You can always go back to condoms when you're fertile... but if you're like me (hyperfertile and paranoid) then you'll just want to stick with non-intercourse activities while you're fertile.
I agree with you 100%, lets just say I would never ever trust withdrawal as the only means of BC. I don't chart but I am an age/stage in life where I have a pretty good idea of when I am fertile but even so, I can't rely on withdrawl...my eldest is a result of that method, so nah not for me.
post #151 of 845
Thread Starter 
I'm pretty sure DS2 is the result of "let's start then I'll put on the condom".
post #152 of 845
Quote:
Originally Posted by wiksty View Post
NON INTERCOURSE????!!!
You know... "other" things.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brown Lioness View Post
*whimpers* I hate when people point out that stuff leaks out before the "arrival" because while it freaks me out (hubby's not been condom friendly lately) cause i could get pregnant unexpectedly, it also frightens me that if he's been pulling out, HOW COME i AINT get pregnant yet? OmgIsSomethingWrongWithMe?WhatIfImInfertileAndDont KnowIt?

If I sound irrational, its cause i am, lol. Deep breaths.

*back to lurk mode*
It's important to remember that you are only fertile for about six days out of your cycle, and that you're most fertile for a grand total of three days. It could just be that you're missing those times.

Quote:
Originally Posted by rootzdawta View Post
I'm pretty sure DS2 is the result of "let's start then I'll put on the condom".
Yeah that's always a good one.
post #153 of 845
Thread Starter 
Hey Mamas . . . what's your policy on walking with your older children (ages 4 and up) in the street? DS1 now refuses to be in the stroller but also refuses to hold my hand. I'm fine with it if he follows my rules (stop on the dime, stay in front of me, hold my hand in busy areas) but I feel like I meet a lot of critical eyes in the street.

Do you think it's an unnecessary risk and he should be forced to hold my hand at all times? Or am i just being hypersensitive to people's looks/criticism? Right now, I just think it's an unreasonable expectation on a 4 year old boy to hold my hand as we walk all over town.
post #154 of 845
Quote:
Originally Posted by rootzdawta View Post
Hey Mamas . . . what's your policy on walking with your older children (ages 4 and up) in the street? DS1 now refuses to be in the stroller but also refuses to hold my hand. I'm fine with it if he follows my rules (stop on the dime, stay in front of me, hold my hand in busy areas) but I feel like I meet a lot of critical eyes in the street.

Do you think it's an unnecessary risk and he should be forced to hold my hand at all times? Or am i just being hypersensitive to people's looks/criticism? Right now, I just think it's an unreasonable expectation on a 4 year old boy to hold my hand as we walk all over town.
Do we have the same child?

Brooklyn/NYC is nothing like Houston, but it is your home. If you feel comfortable allowing DS to walk without holding your hand, I don't have a problem with it and wonder why others would.

If you trust him as much as one can trust a 4 year to do the right thing, why not. He wants to explore at his own pace, not yours.

I know that you are probably not the harness type, but I do keep one in my bag. If DS begins to ignore me or act as if he is not listening I pull it out of my bag and convey his options. Listen to Mommie or I will put on your wrist. Understand. 6 times out of 10 he complies.
post #155 of 845
Quote:
Originally Posted by rootzdawta View Post
Hey Mamas . . . what's your policy on walking with your older children (ages 4 and up) in the street? DS1 now refuses to be in the stroller but also refuses to hold my hand. I'm fine with it if he follows my rules (stop on the dime, stay in front of me, hold my hand in busy areas) but I feel like I meet a lot of critical eyes in the street.

Do you think it's an unnecessary risk and he should be forced to hold my hand at all times? Or am i just being hypersensitive to people's looks/criticism? Right now, I just think it's an unreasonable expectation on a 4 year old boy to hold my hand as we walk all over town.
As long as he isn't running off, I see no problem with letting him walk. As you know I raised my eldest in Chicago as a single Mama and I couldn't always hold his hand because many times I was carrying bags and he was great with listening. Now my girl???? I still have to hold her hand 8 out of 10 times.

Shay
post #156 of 845
Quote:
Originally Posted by AndrewsMother View Post
DH and I are afraid of hormones, and latex and I don't get along well so we use the tried and true withdrawl method. It has worked for us for 5 years. Andrew was not planned, but he was definetly not an "ooops".
We also did withdrawal for years before I got pregnant. William wasn't exactly an oops but he was not exactly planned either.
Now that I'm actually trying to get pregnant, it's just not happening.:
post #157 of 845
Pia Rootzdawta is not in BKLYN. I forget, are you in Yonkers RD? Anyway, I don't think that I held any of my DC hands at that age,unless we were in crowded areas or crossing the street.
post #158 of 845
Quote:
Originally Posted by rootzdawta View Post
Hey Mamas . . . what's your policy on walking with your older children (ages 4 and up) in the street? DS1 now refuses to be in the stroller but also refuses to hold my hand. I'm fine with it if he follows my rules (stop on the dime, stay in front of me, hold my hand in busy areas) but I feel like I meet a lot of critical eyes in the street.

Do you think it's an unnecessary risk and he should be forced to hold my hand at all times? Or am i just being hypersensitive to people's looks/criticism? Right now, I just think it's an unreasonable expectation on a 4 year old boy to hold my hand as we walk all over town.
I just read your blog post on this and it just reinforced what I was going to say. You know your child best and you're not a disinterested, inattentive parent. You've allowed your son his freedom while enforcing some boundaries regarding his safety. People are always going to judge when they see or hear something that runs counter to their own worldview. I'm not sure what can be done about that other than recognize that the only person in the world that you can truly control is yourself.
post #159 of 845
It's interesting for me to watch/listen to black comics, now a days.

DH was watching the AllStars Comedy session with Cedric & others - and the 'humor' they had around discipline growing up - listening to it as someone who has stepped out of the spanking paradigm, and really LISTENING to what they were saying and the experiences of childhood they shared - it actually made me sad.

This was the only place that I could share those feelings/reactions and know that I would be 'heard', and maybe even understood.

Do y'all/can y'all still get the humor in black stand-up comics performances, or do too many of their 'jokes' make you cringe for you to be able to enjoy it?

I suspect I have a tendency to be hypersensitive sometimes, and I want to see if others have had the same reaction.......
post #160 of 845
Quote:
Originally Posted by Draupadi View Post
We also did withdrawal for years before I got pregnant. William wasn't exactly an oops but he was not exactly planned either.
Now that I'm actually trying to get pregnant, it's just not happening.:

STOP TRYING!!!! Just have random oopses!
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