Women of Color #13 - Page 9

[AndrewsMother]

Originally Posted by Jannah6

Pia Rootzdawta is not in BKLYN. I forget, are you in Yonkers RD? Anyway, I don't think that I held any of my DC hands at that age,unless we were in crowded areas or crossing the street.

Apologize!!!!!

[AndrewsMother]

Originally Posted by JustKiya

It's interesting for me to watch/listen to black comics, now a days.

DH was watching the AllStars Comedy session with Cedric & others - and the 'humor' they had around discipline growing up - listening to it as someone who has stepped out of the spanking paradigm, and really LISTENING to what they were saying and the experiences of childhood they shared - it actually made me sad.

This was the only place that I could share those feelings/reactions and know that I would be 'heard', and maybe even understood.

Do y'all/can y'all still get the humor in black stand-up comics performances, or do too many of their 'jokes' make you cringe for you to be able to enjoy it?

I suspect I have a tendency to be hypersensitive sometimes, and I want to see if others have had the same reaction.......

Most of the jokes I do not get, and when I do get them my blood pressure rises. I don't ever plan on watching or listening to black comics because I disagree with 95-99% of what they say or joke about.

I also can't stand the pervasive attitude that it is okay to make jokes about other races, because if the tables were turned the NAACP, Al Sharpton and the ACLU would be forced to intervene.


DH and I actually had a heated argument over Bernie Mac and his childrearing commentary. I did not then and still don't allow his show to play in my home. Just thinking about some man, even on television, talking about bashing a childs head until the white meat shows makes me sick.:

[rootzdawta]

I have a really hard time enjoying the comedy. I find so much of it tasteless including all the Madea stuff and now Martin Lawrence and Jamie Foxx and coming out with a movie . . . just not funny at all. It just seems they go for the easy laugh a lot of the time and I guess I need comedy to make me think. That's why I actually did really like Dave Chapelle and miss his show.

LoL . . . realized the trailer for the Foxx and Lawrence movie was a spoof . . . that's what I get for not having cable.

[rootzdawta]

Originally Posted by bajamergrrl

I just read your blog post on this and it just reinforced what I was going to say. You know your child best and you're not a disinterested, inattentive parent. You've allowed your son his freedom while enforcing some boundaries regarding his safety. People are always going to judge when they see or hear something that runs counter to their own worldview. I'm not sure what can be done about that other than recognize that the only person in the world that you can truly control is yourself.

This is like my whole life philosophy!! I can only control myself. And since my view of my children is that they are their own individuals, I feel it's necessary to let them have as much freedom as they can handle within reason. But I get the vibe sometimes especially in my neighborhood that's predominantly Black that if you don't have this incredibly tight stranglehold rein on your child, you're permissive and/or letting your kids "act like white kids". This tight rein can be achieved through knocking your kids upside the head or cursing at them and calling them "little ni**a" . . .

[eilonwy]

I don't watch television, so my experience of black comedy is older... I'm with RD, I miss Chappelle something awful. I also really liked Chris Rock, he was hilarious to me. Bernie Mac I could take or leave back then, the show was cute but not interesting enough for me to seek out if anything else was on. Oh, and I adored The Boondocks, and still do. Eeep, baby emergency.

[JustKiya]

Originally Posted by rootzdawta

I have a really hard time enjoying the comedy. I find so much of it tasteless including all the Madea stuff and now Martin Lawrence and Jamie Foxx and coming out with a movie . . . just not funny at all. It just seems they go for the easy laugh a lot of the time and I guess I need comedy to make me think. That's why I actually did really like Dave Chapelle and miss his show.

LoL . . . realized the trailer for the Foxx and Lawrence movie was a spoof . . . that's what I get for not having cable.

*sigh* Actually, apparently, it's not. One of them was on some talk show after the awards, and said that they were planning on turning it into a full length movie.

I DO love Dave Chapplle (how I miss him!), and Aaron McGruder & his Boondocks. I really want the DVD set, on the real. And yes, both of their comedic styles are hilarious - but also thoughtful, and encourages thought.

Bernie Mac's 'white meat' comment turns my stomach and turned me off from him, altogether. :

I haven't seen any of Chris's stuff recently - I'd have to check him out again, and see what my reaction is.

It's interesting, as while DH didn't say anything while the 'my momma whooped me without warning for no good reason' ( ) jokes were going on, I could see him gauging my response to them. And he knows, normally, I avoid those shows like the plague.

[shayinme]

Originally Posted by JustKiya

It's interesting for me to watch/listen to black comics, now a days.

DH was watching the AllStars Comedy session with Cedric & others - and the 'humor' they had around discipline growing up - listening to it as someone who has stepped out of the spanking paradigm, and really LISTENING to what they were saying and the experiences of childhood they shared - it actually made me sad.

This was the only place that I could share those feelings/reactions and know that I would be 'heard', and maybe even understood.

Do y'all/can y'all still get the humor in black stand-up comics performances, or do too many of their 'jokes' make you cringe for you to be able to enjoy it?

I suspect I have a tendency to be hypersensitive sometimes, and I want to see if others have had the same reaction.......

I still enjoy some Black comics, while I made a concious choice not to spank my kids fact is I grew up being raised that way and from that perspective I can relate. On the other hand I have spent years working with people in grim life situations so I have a pretty off sense of humor.

It also makes me happy that I have moved away from the way I was raised, but its okay of you don't vibe on Black comics

[shayinme]

Originally Posted by rootzdawta

This is like my whole life philosophy!! I can only control myself. And since my view of my children is that they are their own individuals, I feel it's necessary to let them have as much freedom as they can handle within reason. But I get the vibe sometimes especially in my neighborhood that's predominantly Black that if you don't have this incredibly tight stranglehold rein on your child, you're permissive and/or letting your kids "act like white kids". This tight rein can be achieved through knocking your kids upside the head or cursing at them and calling them "little ni**a" . . .

I think you can still be strict without resorting to that type of behavior, according my son (who was spanked a few times by me many years ago, he is 17 now) I was strict when he was little and while we can both count on one hand the number of times he was spanked (4 ) he knew I didn't play. As I have said I am all about letting my kids have their freedoms but at the end of the day, I am the boss.

I am amazed at the number of folks when the girl child & I are shopping who comment on how respectful I am of her...yet even with this one who has been raised AP/GD from beginnings even she knows I have limits.

Kids are individuals but as a parent I see my role as guide/facilitator too.

[rootzdawta]

Originally Posted by shayinme

Kids are individuals but as a parent I see my role as guide/facilitator too.

I agree . . . I'm working on trying to find a good balance.

[AndrewsMother]

I must be the only person in the world who did not like Dave Chapelle.

I have purchased several Boondocks books for DH who loves the strip and Aaron McGruder, but I just can't get with him. Perhaps it is because of his overuse of the N word. I don't know.

[bajamergrrl]

Originally Posted by shayinme

Kids are individuals but as a parent I see my role as guide/facilitator too.

I agree with this. I'm about to have my first and I'm very inclined to practice GD with him/her. For me, GD means respecting your child as a human being but also recognizing that appropriate boundaries are necessary because I need to keep him/her safe and teach him/her about respecting other people.

I also think that your child's personality will inform how strict those boundaries need to be. E.g. I was that kid who could be counted on to follow rules, not because I was afraid of punishment but because I didn't like to be seen as a disappointment to people I care about. That's just my personality. One of my sisters on the other hand, she just doesn't really care about other people's rules. If you told her to be home at 6 pm, she might not show up until 7pm if she found something better that she liked to do.


With regard to black comedians - I can't get down with some types of comedy. Comedians that rely too much on racial stereotypes without any sense of irony or profundity behind the jokes aren't my cup of tea. Jokes about beating up on kids are also out for me. That said, I'm more likely to write off a comedian for just being plain unfunny and/or annoying than for any specific type of joke in their repertoire. E.g. Mike Epps - can't think of a single joke of his but he just bugs the crap out of me. I like my comedians to be intelligent.

[kimiij]

Originally Posted by AndrewsMother

I must be the only person in the world who did not like Dave Chapelle.

I have purchased several Boondocks books for DH who loves the strip and Aaron McGruder, but I just can't get with him. Perhaps it is because of his overuse of the N word. I don't know.

Nope. I was not a fan of Dave Chapelle either.

I did like Martin Lawrence in his tv show - Martin - that was one of the funniest shows ever. I also like Chris Rock. I liked Bernie Mack in his tv show and in the Kings of Comedy.

[Sorin]

I do like some black comedians, but only if they are funny! I'm not offended by the whole "I beat my kids/was beaten as a kid" line of jokes, but I just find them to be unfunny because comedians have been telling those jokes forever and now they are so unoriginal! I like fresh, original comedy that comments upon society in a funny, satiric way. I do like the Boondocks and have often shown the cartoon in my classes as an example of satire (which we then break down and analyze). DH liked Jaime Foxx when he was on his sitcom, but he does not like him so much now. We both like the Chappelle Show and had a fabulous time at a Chris Rock concert a few months ago. I also think Katt Williams is hilarious!

I don't think Bernie Mac is funny, but I'm not offended by anything he says. The same goes for D.L. Hughley and Cedric the Entertainer. I don't get offended or my feelings hurt very easily, so if I don't like a comedian it is because I think he/she is unfunny and relies on the same old tired tropes to make people laugh. I like comedians who say things that haven't been said a million times over already.

[kimiij]

**

[Bloomingstar]

Boy I've missed a lot! hmmm, let's see...

Withdrawl (as good a place to jump in as any haha) worked for us for about 3 years, and then when we decided to have the baby I was pregnant in my second cycle of charting. It's condoms for now, though my cycle hasn't started again, and I'd like to figure out charting again soon. Condoms are not either of our favorite, but one look at DS reminds us that it is important

I HATED the Bernie Mac section of Kings of Comedy for so many reasons. D.L. Hugley is not funny and doesn't give his jokes any time to settle--he's laughing before you are. I was not a big fan of Dave Chapelle though I will watch the episodes with Charlie Murphy stories over and over. The very first episode of his show with the black white supremacist was what really put me off. I am a fan of Chris Rock, but I think he's a big sexist like the rest of them.

People always roll their eyes at me when I say i will never spank my child, but I just won't. I was spanked a few times as a child and it made me extremely resentful and hateful, and did not teach me any lessons except to add more reasons to why I could not stand my abusive stepmother so as far as I am concerned, it just doesn't work, apart from being out of my nature, and suffering is what I seek to lessen, not cause, etc etc etc.

kimiij, does your sister have a spiritual life? Or something to center her that was not her relationship? It's kind of like if her life were a wheel, it's fallen off the axle (the thingey with the spokes is out of line with the rubber part?) ok I hope that makes sense cause I don't know exactly the wording but I've got the image Or she just needs to reboot herself (is that one better?) It's important, I think, to be clear about your goals and seek to attain them, whatever they are--a great relationship, marriage, pregnancy, a new car, etc.--but coming at them from a place of feeling "wronged" by not having them, or a place of resentment, jealousy, or whatever overwhelmingly negative feelings lurk after getting out of a thing like that, may not bring her what she actually wants. Maybe she needs help getting clear about why she wants what she wants--even if she comes out with the same answers, the process to finding them again may be worthwhile. And she may also just need support from the other people in her life to get positive about who she is, right now, without the other things she is seeking, so that she feels worthy of the good things that do come into her life and has confidence and good judgement about how to accept them.

[AndrewsMother]

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[kimiij]

**

[futurmama8]

I love black comedians but I can do without D.L. Hughley. I absolutely loved chapelle because I could see his message even though many people(including himself) couldn't. I love Bernie Mac especially his show because he was silly and I was really sad when he passed . Honestly some of these people are telling jokes about what they know, I mean it's not like they can tell jokes about GD, how funny would that be? It is a job and they are doing what they have to do to make money and I can't even be mad.

AM I get what you mean about the race thing but honestly I think that if the tables were turned and white comedians talked about black people I really wouldn't be mad nor offended. I think white people have to walk this thin line and I don't think they should. Plus Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson don't speak for me really.

I honeslty can not wait for the Jamie Foxx/Martin movie because I love them both especially Martin and I think it will be hilarious. Who didn't love Shananae and Wanda come on . I honestly take many things in my life serious and this isn't one I really want to. I can't take comedy seriously I just take it as comedy.

[futurmama8]

Originally Posted by kimiij

My sister is not spiritual/religious and I do think that she could be served by becoming moreso. I love what you say about needing to have something that centers you....something that is more than another person/thing. I think it's a great thought that I am going to share with her.

I am not religious at all (agnotic atheist actually) and I found when I broke with my DP after six years that I had to take a step back and find strength within myself to know that there was nothing wrong with me and I WOULD one day find love. We did eventually get back together but my confidence was very high during that break up and may have helped me assert some of the things I need in the relationship.

Has your sister looked into Buddhism because I find that I need some sort of spirituality in my life and it doesn't encompass a dogma or a God. The meditation can really help her become more focused on the present and relax a little while becoming more centered. Just a thought .

[rootzdawta]

Originally Posted by futurmama8

Has your sister looked into Buddhism because I find that I need some sort of spirituality in my life and it doesn't encompass a dogma or a God. The meditation can really help her become more focused on the present and relax a little while becoming more centered. Just a thought .

I was just going to suggest that!

For a long time, I've been having issues about how I view God/is there a God at all and I recently found Nichiren Buddhism. While I can't say 100% that I'm a Buddhist, the single most important thing it has done for me is to help me focus and become centered--taking the focus away from "Oh, why me?" To "Why not me?" and from wallowing in the issues to "welcoming" the issues as things that I have to overcome to be victorious and not defeated in this life.