Women of Color #13 - Page 10

[shayinme]

Originally Posted by futurmama8

I love black comedians but I can do without D.L. Hughley. I absolutely loved chapelle because I could see his message even though many people(including himself) couldn't. I love Bernie Mac especially his show because he was silly and I was really sad when he passed . Honestly some of these people are telling jokes about what they know, I mean it's not like they can tell jokes about GD, how funny would that be? It is a job and they are doing what they have to do to make money and I can't even be mad.

AM I get what you mean about the race thing but honestly I think that if the tables were turned and white comedians talked about black people I really wouldn't be mad nor offended. I think white people have to walk this thin line and I don't think they should. Plus Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson don't speak for me really.

I honeslty can not wait for the Jamie Foxx/Martin movie because I love them both especially Martin and I think it will be hilarious. Who didn't love Shananae and Wanda come on . I honestly take many things in my life serious and this isn't one I really want to. I can't take comedy seriously I just take it as comedy.

: You really summed up my feelings well on Black comics, I do think for many of these folks, they use what they know as the basis for their routines.

You sound like me, when it comes to comedy, I don't get too serious. On the flipside I suspect guys like Jeff Foxworthy (the guy who speaks to being a redneck) and his crew of blue collar comedians might make some white folks upset.Yet he clearly does not speak for the white experience, but that does not mean he isn't funny...I am actually a limited fan of his work, its generally good for the first ten minutes.

Shay

[eilonwy]

Truthfully, I think that Jeff Foxworthy is hilarious... but I don't feel that I can laugh at his jokes in public or make them myself because I'm not white. It's the same way I suspect that many white people enjoy Dave Chappelle but feel like they're not allowed to laugh because they're not black so they can't possibly "get it." Of course, a friend of mine who was raised with low-class white people (despite having plenty of money) pointed out that life in "the ghetto" and life in "the trailer park" are remarkably similar, when you get down to it. Jokes about Tang being watered down, Kool-Aid being considered a food group, and guns being part of everyday life from a very early age seem to show up a lot in both groups of comedians, for example. The class difference is huge, but within classes there's a definate familiarity whether you're talking about whites, blacks, latinos, etc. In general, I prefer "classier" comedy than Jeff Foxworthy, but I can certainly appreciate the humor in his work. Larry the Cable Guy? Eh, not so much.

[Bloomingstar]

Originally Posted by rootzdawta

I was just going to suggest that!

For a long time, I've been having issues about how I view God/is there a God at all and I recently found Nichiren Buddhism. While I can't say 100% that I'm a Buddhist, the single most important thing it has done for me is to help me focus and become centered--taking the focus away from "Oh, why me?" To "Why not me?" and from wallowing in the issues to "welcoming" the issues as things that I have to overcome to be victorious and not defeated in this life.

rootz! I was meaning to ask you (in your other thread) what kind of chanting you were talking about. I've been practicing Nichiren Buddhism for almost 3 years now and it has definitely made a big difference in my life. I actually chanted for a long while during my (endless) labor, with my sister in law, because I was just so tired and feeling like I couldn't get through it since it was taking so long. Things picked up for me after that, and I felt renewed confidence.

[purplegirl]

Originally Posted by Bloomingstar

rootz! I was meaning to ask you (in your other thread) what kind of chanting you were talking about. I've been practicing Nichiren Buddhism for almost 3 years now and it has definitely made a big difference in my life. I actually chanted for a long while during my (endless) labor, with my sister in law, because I was just so tired and feeling like I couldn't get through it since it was taking so long. Things picked up for me after that, and I felt renewed confidence.

You might have been the one on face book to post the clip of Tina Turner chanting. It was most amazing and beautiful sound
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOsr_ZOi-Jo

[ErikaDP]

Originally Posted by wiksty

Could you explain to me unschooling? or lead me to a website? my husband and i sre seriously considering homeschooling our children, but we've come across this type of method a few times. I've only heard one person describe me their version and i wasn't sure if it was like, unschooling law or if everyone individualizes it? How would you describe your "method" and are the schooling officials or govt. hounding you?'

and (sorry so many ?s just hoping to find out what i'm going to be up against and need to get prepared for fighting...crushing *winks*) does anyone know how people will treat me (being as I am, how we live, AP, homebirthing, cloth diapering, recycling, organic food eaters, herbal and homepathic remedy seekers, educated mixed family)...does anyone know how the attitude is going to be about those things out east?

Hi Wiksty,

Sorry it took so long for my reply but I have family visiting me from the west coast and I haven't had the time to get online.
Unschooling for our family means child-led learning. No set schedules, no seat work, no mandatory academic activities. And because of this method of learning, my child can spend as much time as he needs to on a single subject as he works towards mastery of that particular subject.
And because each state has it's own Homeschooling laws, it varies a great deal on what you have to do to be in compliance with the law.
We live in CT, which is a "free" state meaning that there is no required testing, no teacher evaluations, no home visits, etc. CT is a great state to unschool!
But having said that, I personally know families who are unschooling in every state in the US.
And some of them have to be very inventive to meet their state's mandates/laws. So I say that unschooling can happen anywhere! Please feel free to send me a pm if you have any more questions.
Happy Fourth of July Everyone!
*..· ´¨¨)) -:¦:-
¸.·´ .·´¨¨))
((¸¸.·´ ..·´ Peace, Love & Light!-:¦:-
-:¦:- ((¸¸.·´*
Take Care,
Erika(I don't wear a fro, I'm just a sister who likes this smilie!):

[rootzdawta]

Originally Posted by Bloomingstar

rootz! I was meaning to ask you (in your other thread) what kind of chanting you were talking about. I've been practicing Nichiren Buddhism for almost 3 years now and it has definitely made a big difference in my life. I actually chanted for a long while during my (endless) labor, with my sister in law, because I was just so tired and feeling like I couldn't get through it since it was taking so long. Things picked up for me after that, and I felt renewed confidence.

Yes!! I've been chanting seriously now since the beginning of this year. Before that it was very sporadic. I received my gohonzon in March and my practice just took off. Renewed confidence . . . yeah, that's a really good way to describe what chanting does.

Do you attend any meetings?

[chanibell]

Originally Posted by rootzdawta

Hey Mamas . . . what's your policy on walking with your older children (ages 4 and up) in the street? DS1 now refuses to be in the stroller but also refuses to hold my hand. I'm fine with it if he follows my rules (stop on the dime, stay in front of me, hold my hand in busy areas) but I feel like I meet a lot of critical eyes in the street.

Do you think it's an unnecessary risk and he should be forced to hold my hand at all times? Or am i just being hypersensitive to people's looks/criticism? Right now, I just think it's an unreasonable expectation on a 4 year old boy to hold my hand as we walk all over town.

LOL I feel as though we also have the same child. My ds is also 4 and there have been times where we let him run ahead of us at the mall. Sometimes there have been instances where he doesn't look where he going and maybe 2 times an adult will just not see him and they nearly collide with him.

This is in a mall though,but on the street and crossing the street he always holds my hand. When we are in a place where I don't feel comfortable letting him walk around ( like a glass shop or a museum) I insist he hold my hand. If he refuses ( which he always does) I tell him we will not move until he does.
He agrees. He's not always a good listener and we are working on this. I think it depends on the situation on where you are.

[AndrewsMother]

Please share your opinions

read me
either here or there. Thank you

[shayinme]

Originally Posted by AndrewsMother

read me
either here or there. Thank you

Honestly I would probably put this off until my child were older if it were me. I am answering this as someone who has spent a lot of time away from my child to pursue education and in the end its not worth it. My son at 17 harbors no ill feelings towards me and is proud of what I have accomplished in my life but at the end of the day, I live with guilt.

So for me its a no, but that is based off what I have experienced. I would also be concerned about the impact on my marriage. That said, in the end you have to do what feels right for you and your family. If this is what you feel you need to do, go for it...life is too short for regrets.

Shay

[AndrewsMother]

Originally Posted by shayinme

Honestly I would probably put this off until my child were older if it were me. I am answering this as someone who has spent a lot of time away from my child to pursue education and in the end its not worth it. My son at 17 harbors no ill feelings towards me and is proud of what I have accomplished in my life but at the end of the day, I live with guilt.

So for me its a no, but that is based off what I have experienced. I would also be concerned about the impact on my marriage. That said, in the end you have to do what feels right for you and your family. If this is what you feel you need to do, go for it...life is too short for regrets.

Shay

How long were you away from your son?

[Bloomingstar]

Originally Posted by rootzdawta

Yes!! I've been chanting seriously now since the beginning of this year. Before that it was very sporadic. I received my gohonzon in March and my practice just took off. Renewed confidence . . . yeah, that's a really good way to describe what chanting does.

Do you attend any meetings?

: congratulations!

I haven't been as regular about attending meetings since the baby was born but I've made it to a couple events this year at the culture center in manhattan. And I keep in touch with the people from my district so I at least know when things are. A lot of the meetings are friday nights but my goal is to at least get to the first sunday meeting at the culture center next month. I like those meetings a lot

And yes, I was the one who posted the Tina Turner link on facebook

[rootzdawta]

Originally Posted by AndrewsMother

read me
either here or there. Thank you

Honestly, AM, I would wait a bit till your son is older. I think at this stage, even though he has great caretakers, the length of your absence would be too much. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that you get into one of the closer programs.

Originally Posted by Bloomingstar

: congratulations!

I haven't been as regular about attending meetings since the baby was born but I've made it to a couple events this year at the culture center in manhattan. And I keep in touch with the people from my district so I at least know when things are. A lot of the meetings are friday nights but my goal is to at least get to the first sunday meeting at the culture center next month. I like those meetings a lot

And yes, I was the one who posted the Tina Turner link on facebook

Yeah, I can't attend many meetings either because they are in the evenings like at 7/7:30 and by that time, I'm getting the boys ready for bed. But there's a mother's meeting I go to and the district meeting in the mornings. If dh is not working OT, I can usually go.

Ugh . . . there's a homeschooling group going on a hike today. It is a 1 hr. drive to get to the site. And Aunt Flo is here. But DS1 is too psyched about seeing some deer again.

[AndrewsMother]

Originally Posted by rootzdawta

Honestly, AM, I would wait a bit till your son is older. I think at this stage, even though he has great caretakers, the length of your absence would be too much. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that you get into one of the closer programs.

Please do keep your fingers crossed. The program in my city or the program 2 hours away! Thank you.

[wiksty]

Originally Posted by JustKiya

It's interesting for me to watch/listen to black comics, now a days.

DH was watching the AllStars Comedy session with Cedric & others - and the 'humor' they had around discipline growing up - listening to it as someone who has stepped out of the spanking paradigm, and really LISTENING to what they were saying and the experiences of childhood they shared - it actually made me sad.

This was the only place that I could share those feelings/reactions and know that I would be 'heard', and maybe even understood.

Do y'all/can y'all still get the humor in black stand-up comics performances, or do too many of their 'jokes' make you cringe for you to be able to enjoy it?

I suspect I have a tendency to be hypersensitive sometimes, and I want to see if others have had the same reaction.......

I know I'm late to reply, but yes...i cringe more than I laugh.

[wiksty]

Originally Posted by AndrewsMother

STOP TRYING!!!! Just have random oopses!

Everytime we stopped "trying" we got pregnant, lol.

[wiksty]

Originally Posted by rootzdawta

This is like my whole life philosophy!! I can only control myself. And since my view of my children is that they are their own individuals, I feel it's necessary to let them have as much freedom as they can handle within reason. But I get the vibe sometimes especially in my neighborhood that's predominantly Black that if you don't have this incredibly tight stranglehold rein on your child, you're permissive and/or letting your kids "act like white kids". This tight rein can be achieved through knocking your kids upside the head or cursing at them and calling them "little ni**a" . . .

Aaugh! I grew up in that house! My mother was sooo afraid to let her amazingly well behaved children experience life (since we weren't white...and d*mn sure better not act that way)!

It was abuse. It's perpetual slave mentality and it's only holding people back; feeling powerful because others are under your control. Disgusting.

[wiksty]

Originally Posted by rootzdawta

I agree . . . I'm working on trying to find a good balance.

This is me too.

But how do you deal with others (non AP/GD, your family - especially parents, etc) who think you're just "letting your child get away with murder"?

I've tried explaining to my mother why my hubby and I are raising the girls as we are, but she just seems offended and wary of not spanking or yelling and such. I don't know if she's just being defensive or what.

[wiksty]

Originally Posted by AndrewsMother

I must be the only person in the world who did not like Dave Chapelle.

I have purchased several Boondocks books for DH who loves the strip and Aaron McGruder, but I just can't get with him. Perhaps it is because of his overuse of the N word. I don't know.

I really liked his old stuff. I started reading Boondocks when it was first published in the Daily Illini (University of Illinois student run newspaper) where my mom has worked for like 12 years now. She'd bring it to me everyday just for the comic, it was great...but it has changed, and those who remain a little less than intellectual still may take the message the wrong way.

I know we're talking black comedians, but OT - does anyone here like...or did you like George Carlin? I really like his stand up.

[wiksty]

Originally Posted by ErikaDP

Hi Wiksty,

Sorry it took so long for my reply but I have family visiting me from the west coast and I haven't had the time to get online.
Unschooling for our family means child-led learning. No set schedules, no seat work, no mandatory academic activities. And because of this method of learning, my child can spend as much time as he needs to on a single subject as he works towards mastery of that particular subject.
And because each state has it's own Homeschooling laws, it varies a great deal on what you have to do to be in compliance with the law.
We live in CT, which is a "free" state meaning that there is no required testing, no teacher evaluations, no home visits, etc. CT is a great state to unschool!
But having said that, I personally know families who are unschooling in every state in the US.
And some of them have to be very inventive to meet their state's mandates/laws. So I say that unschooling can happen anywhere! Please feel free to send me a pm if you have any more questions.
Happy Fourth of July Everyone!
*..· ´¨¨)) -:¦:-
¸.·´ .·´¨¨))
((¸¸.·´ ..·´ Peace, Love & Light!-:¦:-
-:¦:- ((¸¸.·´*
Take Care,
Erika(I don't wear a fro, I'm just a sister who likes this smilie!):

Thank you for this I'm very interested in doing something like this with my daughter. She knows SO much already and I really think I've got a knack (hubby as well) for teaching her new things and that she'd benefit more fully from the continuing of our loose learning structure. I will PM you with any questions, but I'll start researching MD law as well. I want to be prepared and informed before we move there.

Thanks again!

[Arike]

Hey everyone! I have been lurking around on the thread but just too busy/pre-occupied to respond to everything. There have been some really good discussions going on!

Quick question for you ladies who travel with your LO: Does anyone have any tips about traveling internationally with a baby? DS will be almost 9 months when we travel to Costa Rica for a week. DS, my mother and I are visiting my brother there. We rented a house near the beach so we will have all the normal amenities luckily. The plane ride is in two parts: New York to Florida and then Florida to Costa Rica. Pretty short layovers, thank goodness! I am just worried because DS is getting stronger by the day and he can be quite the handful, even just commuting back and forth from work on the subway! I am also wondering what foods would travel well for him. He eats at least 2 meals a day now and organic green puffs as a snack in the morning while he watches his french language DVD. We also give him food that we are eating at dinnertime on occasion. I don't like the jarred baby foods, organic or otherwise but I do want something on hand just in case, you know? Any advise or tips would be really appreciated!

Thanks in advance