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Women of Color #13 - Page 35

post #681 of 845
Quote:
Originally Posted by AndrewsMother View Post
Um, No! Do not even say that about me (even thought I really want a second child) I am not a member of an DDC.
LOL. Not DDC,DDDC Dirty Deed Done Cheap.
post #682 of 845
Here is what DDDC's are http://www.mothering.com/discussions...l&titlesonly=0 its cute and fun.
post #683 of 845
I am blushing.
post #684 of 845
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jannah6 View Post
Feeling a little weak,still very moody and somewhat tired. I'm having cramping off and on,but nothing major. Can't wait until my Dr appointment on Saturday. Thank you for asking. How are you and the children?

I completely missed this. How are you?

Rynna, I hope you're feeling better as well.
post #685 of 845
Gosh- I haven't been around in forever and I miss everything!
Jannah, congratulations!
I (of course) found out on FB. You just take care of yourself.

I'm now 37 weeks pregnant and tired as all get out. I'm ready to be done with this. I'm looking forward to giving birth again and having another little one around but boy, am I exhausted.

Now here's a question for any of you: are you a part of any mommy groups? Truth be told, I'm considering starting my own "multicultural" mommy group when the baby is a few months old and I need to have more mommy friends. In the 3 years I've been home with William, I have made very few (if any) connections. I'm fairly certain that part of this has to do with the fact that I'm a non-white mother living in a predominantly white area. My two closest mom friends, both Asian, feel the same as I do.

Thoughts?
post #686 of 845
Quote:
Originally Posted by Draupadi View Post
Gosh- I haven't been around in forever and I miss everything!
Jannah, congratulations!
I (of course) found out on FB. You just take care of yourself.

I'm now 37 weeks pregnant and tired as all get out. I'm ready to be done with this. I'm looking forward to giving birth again and having another little one around but boy, am I exhausted.

Now here's a question for any of you: are you a part of any mommy groups? Truth be told, I'm considering starting my own "multicultural" mommy group when the baby is a few months old and I need to have more mommy friends. In the 3 years I've been home with William, I have made very few (if any) connections. I'm fairly certain that part of this has to do with the fact that I'm a non-white mother living in a predominantly white area. My two closest mom friends, both Asian, feel the same as I do.

Thoughts?
I tried to do mommy groups but as the only POC in a white area it just felt too awkward. Now that I work its less of an issue but I do wish I had been better able to connect with other Moms. I will say though that two women I met here in MDC have actually become friends of mine, they both have kids who are a little older than dd so they are less mommy buddies and more just friends. I do think it can be hard at times to connect when you are the family of difference. We used to do storytime and it was very much a clique
post #687 of 845
Quote:
Originally Posted by Draupadi View Post
Gosh- I haven't been around in forever and I miss everything!
Jannah, congratulations!
I (of course) found out on FB. You just take care of yourself.

I'm now 37 weeks pregnant and tired as all get out. I'm ready to be done with this. I'm looking forward to giving birth again and having another little one around but boy, am I exhausted.

Now here's a question for any of you: are you a part of any mommy groups? Truth be told, I'm considering starting my own "multicultural" mommy group when the baby is a few months old and I need to have more mommy friends. In the 3 years I've been home with William, I have made very few (if any) connections. I'm fairly certain that part of this has to do with the fact that I'm a non-white mother living in a predominantly white area. My two closest mom friends, both Asian, feel the same as I do.

Thoughts?
Thanks
A moms group sounds great. Have you looked into MOCHA Moms?
post #688 of 845
Quote:
Originally Posted by Draupadi View Post
Gosh- I haven't been around in forever and I miss everything!
Jannah, congratulations!
I (of course) found out on FB. You just take care of yourself.

I'm now 37 weeks pregnant and tired as all get out. I'm ready to be done with this. I'm looking forward to giving birth again and having another little one around but boy, am I exhausted.

Now here's a question for any of you: are you a part of any mommy groups? Truth be told, I'm considering starting my own "multicultural" mommy group when the baby is a few months old and I need to have more mommy friends. In the 3 years I've been home with William, I have made very few (if any) connections. I'm fairly certain that part of this has to do with the fact that I'm a non-white mother living in a predominantly white area. My two closest mom friends, both Asian, feel the same as I do.

Thoughts?
I was a part of various mom groups until Andrew entered school full time. Now that I work full-time in addition to attending school, his friends are mostly classmates.

I never wanted to be a part of all black or all white play groups, and happened to make friends with women of various nationalities. I will admit that if we lived in Atlanta we were generally one of two black families at play dates. Living in Houston has enabled us to have a wide range of friends. I would think that the experience in NYC is similar?

Maybe once you begin to look for schools for William and the baby, consider an International School. Most of the better private schools in Houston and Atlanta are majority White American, but the international schools have students from many different backgrounds. Out of thirteen children in Andrew's class, five are minorities.
post #689 of 845
I'd like to attend this,but my son is having a day of Cultural Expression at his school. hope some others can enjoy this.

Hello All,

Last time it was inclement weather that postponed our event. This time its sun and fun! Come out and join the Mocha Moms of Brooklyn as we support Haitian Women for Haitian Refugees and Partners in Health and our families in a day of music, food, fun and a wonderful raffle.

We will be accepting donations to send to Haiti for the mothers and children who are surviving the devastation.

Lets enjoy the day together:

Saturday March 20 from 2-4pm at

Madiba Restaurant
195 Dekalb Avenue
Brooklyn, NY

Looking forward to seeing you all there!

Chana
post #690 of 845
[QUOTE=shayinme;15196811]
Quote:
I tried to do mommy groups but as the only POC in a white area it just felt too awkward
.

Yes! This totally is an issue for me. I went to several LLL meetings in this area and always felt kind of left out. Everyone had already formed their own groups and I just didn't feel that welcome (except by the LLL leader who was my LC). I really just felt like I stood out and people really didn't care to be that friendly.

Quote:
I do think it can be hard at times to connect when you are the family of difference.
Definitely. One of my friends, a Korean mom of a biracial son, told me she felt the same way when she went to a church mommy group. She just didn't feel that comfortable.
post #691 of 845
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jannah6 View Post
Thanks
A moms group sounds great. Have you looked into MOCHA Moms?
Yes, and I kinda sorta joined online (not paying dues) but I'm not sure how much I fit in there, either. I'm not a working mom (which a lot of them seem to be) and I don't get a very AP vibe from the site either. I could be wrong.
post #692 of 845
Quote:
Originally Posted by AndrewsMother View Post

I never wanted to be a part of all black or all white play groups, and happened to make friends with women of various nationalities. I will admit that if we lived in Atlanta we were generally one of two black families at play dates. Living in Houston has enabled us to have a wide range of friends. I would think that the experience in NYC is similar?
That's the thing. I do prefer being around different types of people- not all white, not all black- not one race in particular. It's what I'm used to and always have been around since I was a little kid growing up in a military family and later in the lower east side of NY. I do have many different friends of various nationalities and races but the majority of them are not moms. I have two mom friends who I hang out with regularly. One I've known for years and the other I met on the playground. Both women are Asian. Otherwise, I don't have many others that I see regularly.

Quote:
Maybe once you begin to look for schools for William and the baby, consider an International School. Most of the better private schools in Houston and Atlanta are majority White American, but the international schools have students from many different backgrounds. Out of thirteen children in Andrew's class, five are minorities.
I would love for William to go to the UNIS school here but I don't think we can afford it.
post #693 of 845
Quote:
Originally Posted by Draupadi View Post
That's the thing. I do prefer being around different types of people- not all white, not all black- not one race in particular. It's what I'm used to and always have been around since I was a little kid growing up in a military family and later in the lower east side of NY. I do have many different friends of various nationalities and races but the majority of them are not moms. I have two mom friends who I hang out with regularly. One I've known for years and the other I met on the playground. Both women are Asian. Otherwise, I don't have many others that I see regularly.


I would love for William to go to the UNIS school here but I don't think we can afford it.
The Dwight School is also supposed to be a good International Option. But I don't know anyone who has had first hand experience with the school.

Shelia, don't let finances discourage you from applying. Most schools take debt and income until account when awarding financial aid. I don't know your families financial resources, but a cousin of my Mother was awarded FA for her daughter hat covered all but $5000 of $25,000 tuition. The family of two had an income of about $100K a minimal amount of debt and live in DC.


The only down side is possibly having to pay tuition the first year if you are not awarded full tuition. In this economy some schools are not able to offer FA to first year students.
post #694 of 845
Finances are tight since I'm not working (and won't be for maybe another 2 years again). William will attending free pre-k in the fall and into his 4th year so that's covered.
I know we should definitely look into private.
My ultimate dream would be to send him to the Society of Friends School in this neighborhood but that tuition is astronomical.
The PS in this area are not bad but they're not fantastic either. We're not in the zone for the "good" school.
post #695 of 845
Quote:
Originally Posted by Draupadi View Post
Finances are tight since I'm not working (and won't be for maybe another 2 years again). William will attending free pre-k in the fall and into his 4th year so that's covered.
I know we should definitely look into private.
My ultimate dream would be to send him to the Society of Friends School in this neighborhood but that tuition is astronomical.
The PS in this area are not bad but they're not fantastic either. We're not in the zone for the "good" school.
PK and K are the easiest years to enter, and for some schools also first grade. After that, few spaces, if any, are available on a yearly basis. Houston is competitive, so I am sure that entering private schools in NYC is a nightmare. Consider applying for PK4, don't worry about your lack of income. If it is meant for William to attend, you will receive the funds to make it happen.
post #696 of 845
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by AndrewsMother View Post
PK and K are the easiest years to enter, and for some schools also first grade. After that, few spaces, if any, are available on a yearly basis. Houston is competitive, so I am sure that entering private schools in NYC is a nightmare. Consider applying for PK4, don't worry about your lack of income. If it is meant for William to attend, you will receive the funds to make it happen.

Exactly!

I'm planning to homeschool but if that doesn't work out, I have a short list of 3 or 4 potential private schools for my boys--none of which I could remotely afford even if I were working full-time. But I know that where there's a will, there's a way.

Oh, and a good friend of mine works at UNIS and LOVES the environment (at least for the students) there.

I went to a few Mocha Moms meetings where I am and I totally felt left out and awkward--even though everyone was a woman of color. I felt like the only one really working hard to make ends meet. I felt like the only natural minded mama. I just felt out of place. Other moms groups I've attended have also left much to be desired so I don't even bother anymore. I'm hoping that through homeschooling, I can connect with some good families.
post #697 of 845
Quote:
Originally Posted by rootzdawta View Post
Exactly!

I'm planning to homeschool but if that doesn't work out, I have a short list of 3 or 4 potential private schools for my boys--none of which I could remotely afford even if I were working full-time. But I know that where there's a will, there's a way.

Oh, and a good friend of mine works at UNIS and LOVES the environment (at least for the students) there.

I went to a few Mocha Moms meetings where I am and I totally felt left out and awkward--even though everyone was a woman of color. I felt like the only one really working hard to make ends meet. I felt like the only natural minded mama. I just felt out of place. Other moms groups I've attended have also left much to be desired so I don't even bother anymore. I'm hoping that through homeschooling, I can connect with some good families.
I agree on applying to the schools even if you can't afford the full tuition. Money is tight for our family too but I plan on submitting applications for Ari to many different private schools in NYC and letting the chips fall where they may. There is also a bilingual french american charter school opening up this fall that I would love for Ari to go to and that's FREE! Ari will be 2 in October so I still have 3 years (well maybe actually 2 in terms of applications, visits, inquiries, etc...) to figure it all out. I really want Ari to attend a french bilingual school. DH and I were seriously considering leaving NYC for greener pastures in a couple of years but I recently was accepted into a graduate program and it's an awesome opportunity so we are stuck in the concrete jungle probably for several more years.

It looks like moving probably wouldn't happen until Ari is in 2nd or 3rd grade. I want a house, with a yard and lots of trees. I love the diversity of NYC and the vibrant artistic and cultural scene but I need more space, a higher quality of life and a lower cost of living. I plan on taking advantage of my remaining probably 5-6 years here. But who knows? A lot can change during that time and we may find a home that fits our needs in the Greater NY area.

But I digress, in terms of the conversations about making mom friends and being part of mommy groups, I haven't really been able to connect with moms in my area. There is a group here in Brooklyn that does really great things and it seems like the moms are pretty diverse. I am signed up on the group's message board and there are always great discussions and activities going on. Plus it seems pretty AP in terms of the parenting style of the moms. BUT, I returned to work when Ari was 3 months and most of the moms in the group either are SAHM or work part-time. I won't be working during the summer months; I will just be taking a few classes so I hope maybe I can connect with some other moms and enjoy all the summer activities in and around the city. I also want to enroll Ari in his very first swim classes and take some myself to improve my technique or lack thereof.(I want to do a triathlon someday. )

Sheila, would love to hang out with you, William and the new baby this summer!
post #698 of 845
Looks like we've all been thinking about our childrens schooling. I hope everything works out for you all. I'm thinking about sending the children back to school next year. Actually it was my husbands idea,but i haven't given him a solid answer. The morning sickness has been kicking my butt and most days it's hard for me to get out of bed. I know that I probably have 2 months of this suffering.
I'll be having a c-section in October and there is no way that I'll be able to give the children the schooling that they'll need. So I've decided to send them back to school,maybe. Another option is to send them to another homeschooling mom that I've know since I was little. I think I'll be sending my oldest son to her next year,she's tutoring him in math now and he learns so much from her in just one day. She's always homeschooled her children as well as other peoples kids. She's really great with children and her oldest children have attended Cornell and Harvard. I haven't talked to my DH about her doing the homeschooling,so we'll see. I'm just not really enthusiastic about sending my children back to their old school or any school in the neighborhood.
Arike,I'm right there with you. I want to leave NY,though it has its perks. My kids definitely need more space. We're probably going to be looking into Upstate again.
post #699 of 845
Personally, I've got ISSUES with private schools (having attended them for several years myself), so I don't generally think of that as an option for any of my kids. There's one school that I think would be a great fit for Boobah, but despite the very reasonable tuition it's out of our price range-- just the gas to get her there and back would be overwhelming for us right now. There are no schools in the area willing or able to accommodate Bean's needs, private or otherwise, and I think that school will prove to be equally disastrous for Bella (though for different reasons). Bear's still a baby, there's really no telling at this point, but I'm disinclined to believe that there's an ideal school environment for him locally either. It just strikes me as terribly unlikely.

That said, I'm not one of those people who believes that every parent or every child should homeschool; I'm just not inclined toward a program of shoving elitist attitudes down the throats of children, and every private school I've visited or attended (with the sole exception of the one I mentioned earlier) does just that. I could certainly create a private school environment for my children even on the shoestring budget, but it's just not something that interests me.

I've been thinking about school next year, too. Bean will be continuing with the cyber charter school, as that's still working well for him. Boobah will be withdrawing to unschool, as it's not working all that well for her. I'm still not sure about Bella; She desperately wants to do the cyber school, and while she's not exactly old enough it would not be difficult for me to finesse her in. After three years of Bean, they'll understand and believe me when I say that she's more than prepared academically for kindergarten this fall. That said, I don't think that the expectations are reasonable to place on such a little person. She doesn't like talking to people (she's shy ) and conferences are likely to go poorly. There's a lot of stress put on these kids, even in kindergarten, and I don't think that Bella will respond favorably. I might just tell her she's too young and keep her back another year, and go from there. She is really pushing for schoolwork, though. I don't know, and I've got a few more months to think about it so I guess we'll see where we are in June/July.

My sister wants to send Chibi to a private boarding school. I find it terribly ironic in light of the fact that the reason she didn't want her homeschooled anymore was that it was "too white". Whatever. We'll see about that, too. Chibi still wants to come home with me. BizzyBug is having a terrible time in school right now too, but I have no idea what my sister's plans are for her. I think she wants to send her to the Montessori school... and in her case, it would probably be a really good fit. I'd be willing to keep her at home too, though she would require a lot more work from me. It's not like I'm pregnant or dealing with a newborn, though. Having a ten year old around the house, even an autistic one, would be a lot easier now than it would have been two years ago.
post #700 of 845
Thread Starter 
Rynna, I'm nervous about private schools too . . . the school I found and like the most is a Sudbury school (or based on the model). What school are you referring to?
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