Babywearing lifestyle questions!

[sky_and_lavender]

Hi! I'm pregnant with my first and feel that babywearing makes a lot of sense. I have been exposed to it primarily through mothering.com, through the Dr. Sears Baby book, and through a friend who wore her child a lot before I met her.

Neither my husband nor I have much baby care experience. We are trying to figure out how much we can realistically wear our baby, and whether babywearing cuts down on the need for typical baby gear. Thanks for any input you can provide on my questions (below)!

How much do people wear their babies? How many hours a day at first? And what about later on? I have a hard time understanding the logistics of it all... It's hard for me to imagine life with baby.

What can you do or not do when wearing your baby? Is it feasible to do chores or study with the baby "on"? When do you put your baby down, and what do you do with her while she is down?

Is it reasonable to not get a stroller or carriage right away? For the average person, is it too hard to walk around with a baby on you while out and about? What about while you are walking for exercise?

We are planning to bedshare at night, unless for some reason it doesn't work for us. But should we have some kind of baby hammock or crib for when the baby needs to be resting/sleeping "down" from the sling?

[spicyrock]

Originally Posted by sky_and_lavender

How much do people wear their babies? How many hours a day at first? And what about later on?

I really think this varies from person to person. During weeks one and two I think I was mostly sitting in a comfy chair with the baby attached to my breast- and that is not an exaggeration; breastfeeding is wonderful, but at first it takes a lot of your time so be ready to devote yourself fully to nursing your baby. I'd say I really started to wear dd a lot around week three. At first I basically wore her as much as I could, because she was so sweet and cuddly (she still is very sweet, but a lot bigger and more squirmy). Now I wear her when it is practical- to sooth her or exercise, or because I am running errands.

What can you do or not do when wearing your baby? Is it feasible to do chores or study with the baby "on"? When do you put your baby down, and what do you do with her while she is down?

You can do most day to day activities while wearing the baby. Different carriers are good for different things. You can definitely accomplish chores and studying while babywearing.

I put dd down whenever I need to or feel like she might like some playtime. She has a big playmat sort of area, as well as a crib (she sleeps there for naps and in the early parts of the night, but at first she slept next to or in our bed all of the time). I used to put her down pretty much anywhere, but now she is a lot more mobile so I have to be careful.

Is it reasonable to not get a stroller or carriage right away? For the average person, is it too hard to walk around with a baby on you while out and about? What about while you are walking for exercise?

It is reasonable to not get a stroller right away, but I have one that I bought for two dollars at a yard sale. I have found it to be useful on occasion; it was definitely worth two bucks. But I usually just wear her. A stroller (for me) is NOT useful when out and about, running errands or shopping. That is one time that baby wearing is definitely really convenient. For exercise I usually wear her but I might put her in the stroller if we are, say, bringing our giant and unruly dog with us (he pulls me over sometimes when he gets excited; it isn't a problem if he is off leash somewhere).

We are planning to bedshare at night, unless for some reason it doesn't work for us. But should we have some kind of baby hammock or crib for when the baby needs to be resting/sleeping "down" from the sling?

At first, you can put your baby anywhere and she will stay right there- the couch, a chair, a blanket on the floor... but later, when she gets more active and her naps are longer, you might want to have a designated safe spot for naps and such. I think different people work out different things. I have a crib and it works for me, but some people think they are stifling baby cages...

congratulations... and don't worry, when the time comes, you will figure all of this out.

[MommaShark]

I didn't need a stroller - I can remember being at the San Fran zoo and the kids in the strollers couldn't really see while mine in an Ergo could see everything! You'll lose weight faster too if you walk with your baby on you!

The baby slept in our bed - we had a bed rail and for naps slept there as well. Once the baby started to roll, we put the baby in a bassinet.

I carried him whenever I was moving about - but sitting down didn't work too well - we'd put him down on a play mat or bouncy chair - he really liked to move!

Good luck!

[almadianna]

Welcome to babywearing and to parenting mama.

Unfortunately, there are no real answers to your questions as all of us have different lifestyles and different needs. Also... all babies are different.

I will say that for us strollers were unnecessary and that I had no trouble doing things like laundry and other chores with the baby on. I also was able to read/study/etc. while wearing the baby.

My first suggestion would be to try and see if there is a babywearing group near you and go as soon as you can. Where do you live? They can show you what works in your area based on climate, how much people walk, what the common forms of transportation are, etc. and they can be great help when your baby comes to aid you.

For the cosleeping question there is a forum called "Family Bed and Nighttime Parenting" here on MDC that can be of great help. Feel free to read around in there for help with that question.

[1littlebit]

once i bought my wraps and sling and mei tei (most people only need one but i like options ) i used them allll the time. i wore DS during my brothers high school graduation, i wear him in the grocery store (a stroller in the grocery store is counterproductive and my bucket seat didn't do that sitting on the kiddie seat thing like most peoples) i wear him at the mall b/c i am to clumsy to steer the stroller through the racks without causing an accident .

i wore him around the house to do housework, we wore him inside and outside to get him to sleep.... its probably one of the most useful things i discovered from mothering!

[almadianna]

ha... I beg to differ that people only need one!!! Or maybe I am an addict?

But in all seriousness I know that as my kids grew my needs changed.. when it was colder I preferred a wrap. When they got heavier the RSs that I had used got a little hard to use for longer periods. When it was hot I really loved my MTs.... I think that having a variety is good. But maybe I shouldnt talk as I have a few dozen....

[lifeguard]

I started with a ring sling, then switch to a stretchy wrap for a short while & now use the ergo & occassionally a backpack. Dh still uses the ring sling sometimes.

We babywear pretty much anytime we go anywhere. I only got a stroller last week & that is because my mom & mil like to go for walks with him & neither is physical capable (or interested frankly) in babywearing - he's quite a big boy.

We also wear him around the house sometimes -but mostly just if he's really upset or having a hard time settling. Otherwise at home he sits on our lap or plays on the floor. That said he is a really easy going baby & has always been content to play on the floor for an hour +. With a different temperment we would wear more.

I never mastered nursing in a carrier & quite frankly hands free with my large boobs is not really doable. But I did use the ring sling a lot when he was little to make nip easier & more discreet.

[JamieCatheryn]

I wear mine when I'm mostly walking, like grocery shopping, taking the older one out for a walk, lawn mowing(!, yeah I was left no choice but it really worked), also while eating diner sometimes, and while at church. He goes to sleep quickly in it and rests contentedly while I get thing done. Started at 2 weeks (before that you really should be laying around just nursing all day to recover). We never bought a stroller for our first or the newborn second one. Or a bucket carseat, only convertible. So far we don't have a bouncer seat yet for this one but it would come in handy, waiting to get it back from someone we gave it to when DS1 outgrew it. Beside being in the carrier now and then DS2 lays on the bed or is in arms, sometimes on a blanket or lambskin on the floor.

I used a ring sling for my first but this one doesn't like it, I have a mei tai that works great now.

[Om Girl]

It all depends on baby's temperment and disposition. My first was worn constantly. It was the only way she'd sleep. So I wore her while cleaning, outside, inside, errands, etc. I never used the stroller as she wouldn't ride in it contentedly.
I did get a "bike carrier/stroller" when she was about 16 months and she'd ride in that for trips.
I initially used a pouch, then a moby, then a mei tai and then a wrap, eventually an ergo.
Baby #2 doesn't need to be worn as much so we tend to wear when out running errands or outside at the park. It's much easier to navigate through stores holding DD#1's hand and having DD #2 slung.

With both DD's we'd use a bassinet while they were napping and a playmat on the floor for tummy time. They also both enjoyed having a "jumperoo" to sit in and be upright when they started wanting to stand. It did give me a little bit of a break as well.

You'll figure out what you need. But, I agree babywearing means you need less "mainstream" baby gear...however, you'll have more slings!

[alegna]

I do wear the babes a bit, but also I think I just have a different mindset- we don't have a crib or bassinet. I did use a moses basket a little when they were under 6 weeks. I used an Amby for the first couple of weeks with ds. I did have a vibrating chair that got used for a couple of months and a jumper that was used for a couple of months. We don't have a playpen or anything of that sort. I do put babies on the floor a fair bit.

I don't use strollers for every day trips but I do for long walks or outings like the zoo and such. Often the stroller ends up for the bag and such and I wear the baby.

-Angela

[mckittre]

My baby is 4 months, and so far we haven't really needed anything other than the moby wrap. We don't own a stroller (and it wouldn't be practical where we live anyway), he's never slept in the hand-me-down bassinet, and when we put him down, we put him on a sheepskin on the floor. When we went backpacking we used a wrap we made out of backpack fabric so it'd be more water-resistant. I don't know how it'll be as he grows, but for a newborn, I would just get a wrap or sling or whatever carrier you prefer and see how it goes. You can always buy more stuff later. Harder to unbuy it.

[katelove]

I'm sort of in the same position as you (except not pregnant yet ). We're planning (and I know that all this could go out the window but this is the *plan*) to babywear fulltime so someone will be wearing the baby except when he/she is in the car, in the bath/being changed, or sleeping.

I think we will need a few carriers, if only so we can wash them regularly. We already have 2 Moby's and I am going to get a couple of slings. I think a non-stretchy gauze wrap (hot climate) will complete our stash, for the time being.

We are not planning to buy a cot or a pram/stroller initially. However, I have done research on both of these items so we will have some idea of what we want if it turns out we need them. We are thinking of getting a cot mattress to put on the floor in our room for the short periods when we don't want the baby in the bed with us (I'm not really comfortable with having sex in bed with the baby also in bed). Could use a normal single bed matress or a folded blanket or towel and we may yet do that but I think a cot matress will be easier to move around, stash under the bed when not in use etc. We may also use it for naps if neither of us wanted to lie down at the same time but I'm hoping that the baby will sleep in the carrier most of the time or that I will be able to lie down with him/her - I love naps

[lj2blessed]

Here as I sit at the computer, my baby is in the Mei Tai sleeping!!! I put it on almost as soon as I come home from work, so I'd say I wear it about 5 hours a day!

My baby loves to be worn, and I like having her close to me. I do pretty much everything with her in it; although it'd be easier to bend over to take clothes out of the dryer without balancing to make sure she doesn't fall out!

I also have a Moby Wrap that I was in love with until I tried this MT; I also suggest finding a local babywearing group so that you can try out different carriers to see what works for you!

[sky_and_lavender]

I'm overwhelmed with the helpfulness of all your responses! It is so helpful to hear how others use this tool. I would like to respond right now to each of you individually, but I am totally exhausted. Please just know how much I appreciate you all sharing your experiences and ideas on this!

[lilypad08]

I think it depends on the baby, you, and the baby's age. Different things have worked at different ages for us.

We received a stroller travel system as a gift, and I used it exactly once with the carseat set into the stroller... This was at a used baby clothing/equipment sale, and I ended up taking DD out of the stroller and carrying her anyway... we pretty much used the stroller as a "cart" for our stuff. So if you're planning to babywear, I'd say you really don't need a travel system stroller. Just buy a normal stroller later if you feel you need one. I use the stroller now (just by itself, not with the carseat) for longer walks. When DD was smaller I was comfortable walking with her in the sling or Bjorn even for longer walks, but now she is over 20 pounds and I am not comfortable carrying her for long walks (my shoulder starts to hurt), but I still carry her for shorter walks without a problem.

For me, I could do a lot more with DD in the sling when she was younger. In the first few months, she was content to snooze in the sling while I sat at the computer or a desk, but there's no way she'll do that now that she's 11 months old.

Now that DD is 11 months and 21 pounds, I use the sling mostly for shopping and other errands, and for short periods of time around the house. She is much happier in the sling than in the shopping cart, although she does like to sit in the shopping cart for short periods of time, so sometimes we do that for part of the trip. We go on short walks in the sling, but use the stroller for longer walks. I also put her in the sling to do errands around the house like unload and load the dishwasher, prepare food (but not cook, for safety reasons), get the mail, get stuff from the garden, that sort of thing. I mostly wear her in a hip carry now. This position took a few days to get used to and she didn't like it at first but once we got the hang of it, she LOVES it and gets excited whenever I get out the sling.

[1littlebit]

until recently i have found strollers to be cumbersome. now when we go on walks i take the stroller but he walks a lot.. if i but him in a carrier he pulls my hair, smacks my head, etc ... so we don't do that while we are on walks

but other then that i use the carrier. its just so much more portable... and baby is right their attached to you so you don't bump into as much stuff!

[calebsmommy25]

Hi Mama! Babywearing is amazing. I started with a wrap for him as a newborn then went to an ergo. We had a snuggli in between and didn't care for it. I have worn him everywhere and anywhere I can. Grocery stores, walks, errands, chores around the house, hikes, etc. During the newborn days, the wrap was a savior so I could actually get some things done around the house, and it was my go-to when he was fussy. I would (and still do) strap him in and walk.

We do have a stroller. In laws bought us a travel system. I did find it useful a handful of times when he was asleep in his infant car seat and I could just easily pop the seat on the stroller, but the little girl I care for during the day has gotten more use out of the stroller than my own son. It is so much easier to wear him around than worry about the stroller in the car, and trying to push it around. We do not have stroller safe sidewalks here!

We shared sleep from the start, but did have a crib too. And once again, the little girl I care for has gotten more use out of it than he has. He is 14 months now, and he is transitioning to his crib that is in our room.

It makes life easier, and allows you to bond with your little one in such an intimate way. My dp loves to wear him around too. It is a fantastic way for Daddy's to bond with their babies. It always melts my heart watching dp carry our ds around.

[AislinCarys]

My best advice would be to buy as little as you can (this goes for everything, big things like push-chairs, but also clothes, sheets etc.) before your baby is born. Only buy what you definitely will use in the first few weeks - but research everything else, and know where to buy it if and when you need it!

We have a beautiful and expensive moses basket - DD never slept there. A lovely and equally expensive Storchenwiege wrap - DD hated it. Bags and bags of clothes she never wore or o0nly wore once. Plenty of cloth diapers of types that never worked for us.

We also have: A push chair we never wanted, but friends gave us, their old one. DD loved it and only slept in it for the first 8 months (daytime)! An Ergo, a friend let me try and later buy when DD was 8 months old - DD loves it, and even goes to get it when she's tired!

My point is, if I was there again, pregnant with my first child, I'd get a cheap-ish carrier of whatever type I'd think would be easiest for me in the first month or so (for me, that would probably mean buying either a stretchy wrap or stretchy fabric for a wrap, organic, as it matters to me). And then try to find other baby-wearers and borrow theirs once baby is born, and find out what works best for us. If you need a push-chair you can always buy one later, though it is probably a good idea to choose 1 you would like. Same thing, you can pick out different types of carriers you might like to try, like which Mei Tai you would prefer, and which SSK (Ergo, Manduca,Beco?) or different woven wraps or slings.

Of course you can wear your baby a lot, even an older or bigger child, as long as you have a supportive carrier or wrap. How much you wear your baby at home will probably depend more on your baby's personality. And how much you can get done depends on that too. Your baby might be happy in a sling and let you do things, or happy in a sling and not let you do things, or happy on the floor and let you do things or happy on the floor and not let you out of her sight! (I'd say be happy with as much as you can get done in the early months, using whatever way to keep your baby happy in the meantime! and if that is very little, oh well, it is only a short time of your life, and your baby won't be little for long!)

Good luck!

[winter singer]

We never bothered getting a stroller up till now (DD is 9 mo) and haven't missed it at all (though my mother has got one for when we visit her, since babywearing isn't her thing). We used a ring sling for the first few months and then got a beco when DD got a bit heavier. Both are excellent. DD is usually happy to be worn while we do physical household stuff and has always loved walks. These days she almost always beams and gurgles when she sees one of us putting the sling on, and sometimes she even comes over and reaches up to it. OTOH, she's never liked being stationary in the sling unless she's asleep, so computer work and reading could only happen with her either out of the sling or lulled into a nap first.

Congratulations BTW!

[greenmamapagan]

Apart from a total of two weeks at different times when I hurt my back, DD didn't go in a pram/stroller until she was almost two. If we had to walk anywhere we took a sling, if we drove we took a sling for when we got there. I started with a ring sling, added stretchy wrap and pouch at a couple of months, ergo at 9 months and woven wraps for back carries after that (I liked the ergo but I missed wrapping). Now DS (our second child) is almost 3 weeks. I wear him at home a lot more than I did DD, it's just easier with a three year old around as well. She never liked to be stationary in the sling but he will tolerate being worn while I'm sitting at the computer or knitting (so far at least )
ITA with all the pp's - buy as little as possible until baby is born, you wont really know what you'll need until then & if you're worried about being able to buy stuff with a babe don't: that's what the internet is for.