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Needless Worry? - Page 2

post #21 of 23
Originally Posted by GoGoGirl View Post
Well, my DD is 3 months old, so I'm just starting out with this. I can tell that a lot of people are trying to figure us out, but at least so far no one has assumed she's not my biological daughter. They just assume things about my husband.

Lately I've gotten, "Is your husband...dark?" and "Girl, are you married to a MEXICAN??"

I guess at least they figure she's mine, so that's a start. No one has asked me "where I got her" or anything yet.
Oh, and wait til you hear about the one that "he wouldn't be with you if it wasn't for the greencard". Thats a fresh one from my ex- with whom I had tried to have a baby for about 4 years til we split up and he failed miserably at that too, probably from all the drugs. I think its a jealousy thing too.
post #22 of 23
Originally Posted by meemee View Post

my dd looks just like me. really!!!

however she has much lighter skin.
LOL, you just made me remember the time my ex, DS and I were on a plane. I guess Torin was about a year old. Anyway, the stewardess kept looking at us and laughing and I was getting a little bit irritated. So, I asked her, "WHAT do you find so funny!?" She said, "It is just so cute that he looks just like his daddy, except he is so white!" It was true, DS had the round, bald head, and the same ears, but he was so light with blue eyes. Then we laughed with her!

post #23 of 23
Just get used to it because there is more coming!

My son was yelled at in the grocery store for putting gum with our purchases. I went to say that it was okay when she interrupted "It is NOT okay. He was trying to get you to buy his gum!" and I sheepishly mention "Well since he's my son..."

Once I tried to pick up my dd from school and was told that it was nice of me but they had to call the mother first.

Both my dh and I are white and Jewish. Yes, it still happens with the same background. I'm not pure Jewish (oh those questions!) so people assume I'm not (converted, or whatever). He's much darker than I am and the children look like dh.

What happens to us is that we're in France and I have an American accent (well, it is but they think I'm British). The children, born here, obviously have no accent. For some reason, they don't "get" that a foreign mother can have children who don't.

Sometimes it works in my favor. Dh is from a small village. i walked in to a bakery in his home town with our ds and the ladies esclaimed "Oh you're XX's wife! Oh and look at his little version..." Well I guess we don't have to introduce ourselves!

I think it's easier when you have more than one child and they look like each other. Then people would either you internationally adopted from the same country or, more likely, the kids look like the dad, who is "something".

Once a German woman boarded my flight with her three beautiful daughters. I'm a former Flight Attendant. One girl was dark and Indian looking, the other looked like she could be from South America, Hispanic-looking and the third was blond with blue eyes. I had to ask. "What's the story?" I simply asked her (giving her leeway to answer in the vague). Her husband was half Indian while she was typically blond German. Funny how the genes got passed down.

The mom got all upset, not at me but she said "People think they have different fathers!" Okay, I can see how they could come to that conclusion but who cares what other people think, I told her. I didn't want to preach to her but I wanted to say "So what if they do. It's no sin to have different children with different fathers" but she obviously didn't need to hear that!

I have two girlfriends adopting internationally children of different race who both already have "bio" children. I hope neither get any "dumb" comments.
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