embarrasment later on? - Page 2

[ErinsJuneBug]

One of my best friends from college nursed until she was 5. She was boringly normal, very popular and smart. The girl was NEVER sick and she herself used to joke that it was because her mom nursed her for so long. She brought it up once in a while, and all of our friends knew but it was never more than a normal "ewww you wet your bed until you were 6" or "ewww look at this picture of you with braces" type of thing. Totally nothing that means anything decades later, other than the differences we all have. It actually was one of the things that inspired me to nurse my dd so long.

[Starflower]

Originally Posted by EviesMom

The only issue we ever had was a little boy last year in preschool, who, when DD said she wanted to nurse after class, he said "You're a baby!" and DD responded without missing a beat (and without realizing that he meant bc she nurses she's a baby) "I'm not a baby; JASPER is a baby. He can't talk, or sit up, or jump, or feed the turtle. Hey! Let's go feed the turtle!" and off they ran to feed the turtle.

Too bad you got that reaction from one kid in preschool. DD was 4 in preschool and would nurse after class in an chair in the back. It was a co-op and most of the other kids used to nurse, but many didn't remember. They used to like to come watch and ask what I was doing. It was a little odd for me that they were so curious but DD never cared.

She turned 6 years old. The other night she was upset and wanted to nurse for about 30 seconds before bed after she hurt herself, but I'd consider her pretty much weaned at this point since it's rare and she knows there isn't any milk.

She doesn't have any embarrassment about it at this point. She usually doesn't care what other people think about her choices though (but if she falls down and gets hurt she doesn't want anyone to see).

I guess it will be interesting to see if it becomes different for her later. FWIW, we homeschooled this year and are transitioning to a hippie-type Sudbury model school for next fall, so most kids she meets aren't in the mainstream mindset anyway.

[Maiasaura]

Originally Posted by Contented73

Seriously.....where ARE all these big kids who are being breastfed?! I feel like I run in pretty crunchy circles and in real life, I've NEVER heard of any 6 (or beyond) year old breastfeeding with any sort of regularity.

and I know there must a few here on MDC who nursed for a really long time - I would guess they are fairly private about it and also don't go around talking about how gross or embarrassing it is!

that would be us. ds is 8y5m and still occasionally takes a nip. i'd say, probably about every 3 weeks now, and maybe a minute or under, at a time. and he will tell you flat out i have to remind him to watch who he's talking to-- while anthropologically we are still well within the realm of normal (though i admit, way high on the curve), culturally, here in the USA, it's way weird.

Originally Posted by familyblackout

These kinds of stories are repeated about circumcision, too- how uncirc'd boys grow up to be embarrassed by their intact penis and wish they had been circ'd at birth.
Will DS be embarrassed that he's uncirc'd? Or that we nursed until [at least 3]? I sure hope not! These decisions were all made out of love. If he ever feels embarrassed, I hope he comes and talks to me and I can explain that I did what I thought was right for him.
:

:
ds is intact, too, and we've had plenty of discussions about that, as well. he's super glad he's intact. and i see so many intact boys, now! yay! so it'll probably be way normal when he's older. not that they compare-- or do they?

anyway. normal. not to worry.

my step-dd was nursed till she was 5 or 6, and when she was 11, i remember asking her (after ds was born) if she remembered nursing and what she thought about it. her reaction: "how embarrassing!"...but then, she was entering Tweenhood. I agree with a PP that that's a thing for that age-- anything's embarrassing.

[veganmama719]

My DS is 5.33 and just finished junior kindergarten. He nurses once a day at bedtime.
He never talks about it to his peers. I don't get the sense he is embarrassed by it though, just that it is no ones business and not really a topic of discussion.

[chel]

my dd nursed a very long time and it has never came up between her and her friends. By the time she was 3 it was only for naps and bedtime so by default only done in private and just not something we needed to talk about to other or in public.

[meemee]

i have talked about nursing norms to my almost 7 year old. i have also shared with her societies views. how its different in every culture. she has heard me talk about bfeeding to adults.

so she feels it is right to talk about it. she nurses once or twice a day - morning, night for about a minute or two. nursing is still v. important to her. it really relaxes her like nothing else does.

she has brought it up with her friends. she has brought up that she still cosleeps and nurses to her first grade students. the thing here is her attitude. no one dares to say anything. they give her the 'wierd look' but i think its more about confusion since they dont know anyone who nursed late.

if the talk ever comes up about her own bedroom which is pretty often, she always says she doesnt want one because she still prefers sleeping with me mainly coz she still breast feeds.

i cant imagine ever that she will ever be embarrased that she bf so long.

[Meiri]

It was a complete non-issue for our two kids, public schools and all.
Mostly, this is not a topic the children even think to discuss at school.

DD was in First grade for her last year of nursing, even did mention to her BFF, which mention went right over her friend's head. Her mom and I had a lovely discussion though afterwards.

I would expect, just from having BTDT twice, that most still nursing kids at such ages are doing it just at home. It's not that huge a need in their lives that it's every x hours as in infancy and toddlerhood.

[milkybean]

"I don't want ds to feel weird or embarrassed by a completely natural process"


I was nursed until I was 4. Everyone knows this. I was at my 20 year high school reunion, and the day after several of us met up at a friend's suite. I had my son with me, who was 3.5 at the time, and he kept asking for milk (I hadn't nursed him in public since he was probably 2.5, he was just too difficult about it, so this was not going to happen). One of my friends, who I only met in 8th grade (other friends there I had known since 2nd), said "oh yeah, Judy nursed you until you were 4, didn't she?" And she said it with a smile.

My half sister has a different mom, and she was nursed until she was almost 5, and is perfectly happy to tell people this. She still calls breasts the same word she came up with, which is "vahvies". Actually that's funny too, and well known...I called it "sip sip", not sure what my brother called it since he didn't talk much until he was 3, then my dad had the first half brother when I was 13 and taught brother "sip sip" but brother said somethign more like "ips ips". Second half brother born two years later, he called it "ippies". Then 10 years later sister comes along, makes it all new again with vahvies.


Anyway, everyone knows all about this. (the brothers ALL self-weaned at 2; only one had a sibling on the way, it just happened) There's nothing embarassing at all about it! Sure, there might have been a "moooooom" or two, but at a certain point, we're all embarrassed by everything our moms do...

[SMR]

My husband didn't nurse until he was 5 (probably more like 1) but one of his neighbor friends used to make fun of him and say, "MY mom said YOU breastfed til you were FIVE"!! My dh would get so angry and embarrassed about it! We actually just talked about this yesterday! Our 3.5 yr old is weaned.. but every once in a while she either pretends to nurse OR asks for it then does one suck.. he said something like.. if someone makes fun of her, it'd be true! haha I still think it's funny to think of a 7 year old making fun of another kid for breastfeeding.. I mean.. what kid even would KNOW to make fun of someone for that?! I teased my hubby and said that if Gwen was made fun of for nursing until 3 or 4 then all she'd have to say is that at least MY mom loved me enough to let me nurse until I was done!!!

[elizaMM]

instill confidence in general

Our kids are going to be embarrassed about all sorts of things that we can't predict. I think what's important is to give them the confidence in themselves to be embarrassed by as little as possible, to instill in them a sense of humor that allows them to laugh at themselves, and the wisdom to not let teasing bother them. Easier said than done. But to me it makes sense to give them the tools to handle all problems, instead of focusing on specifics.

[uzra_hashmi@rediff]

In my family 'full term nursing', CLW and cross-nursing is a common thing. However, when my DS continued after two years I used to then worry that he might remember nursing and might make a mention about it later on. I even discussed this with some friends of mine who laghed it over. However, later on I realized that it is not a big deal; even I was nursed beyond 6 years and my MIL used to tell that my DH had not fully weaned till he was 8 years and school going. I even remembered being nursed sometimes by two other women in the extended family when my mother was not available. One of them (who was only 20 then) later on used to remind and joke with me about it and say that she was still willing to nurse. Mostly children are discrete by nature about these matters - a wonder. My ideas later on crystallized into willingness to nurse even far beyond the normal weaning age of children should they be willing; they are afterall part of my being and have an unassailable natural relationship with me.
Uzra