You're not going to believe this... - Page 2

[mamadelbosque]

Seriously, report her. So it might cause some 'problems' at church, so what. Would you really rather not make waves and have somebody elses kid get hurt? Or to put it another way, how would you feel if somebody else pulled ther kid out of a daycare quietly because of serious safety concerns, *YOU* didn't know and put your kid in there, and they got seriously hurt?? Just cause' that first parent didn't want to 'make waves' as it were???

ETA: Oh and I also agree with the other posters about the first daycare - I wouldn't want structure for my DS if he was in daycare. I'd want a mom who would watch him, take him to the park, and just generally let him play and be a kid...

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by SandraS

Um, seeing as how she's registered with the State, I would be pulling the child and demanding any money refunded, the heck with the two week thing. If she argues, I'd be filing complaints.

She's in violation of her contract, I'll bet. She's to provide a safe environment. Personally, I wouldn't care too much about the playing - I don't think structured activities make or break a child - but one that young being left inside alone for what was probably a very long time is a no go for me.

And I'm the MOST laid-back mom you'll EVER EVER EVER meet, and this is what I would do!

Originally Posted by The4OfUs

to this whole post. The play all day at the other place wouldn't bother me, but if it bothered you you're paying so it was good you found a new place. But yeah, leaving multiple kids in high chairs while she's outside around the opposite end of the house doing yardwork is NOT cool.

I haven't read past these posts, but I agree totally. The play all day thing wouldn't bother me, but leaving the kids inside, stuck in high chairs, while she does yard work?? No way in hell. ANd, ask for a refund, and file a complaint. I'm sure that's not in line with her licensing.

[purplepaperclip]

Originally Posted by Inspired007

I feel much better knowing that I’m not overreacting.

The only thing is that this lady goes to my church and so it makes things quite difficult. We have to be very diplomatic about how we handle this b/c of our relationship with her.

It would be very, very difficult for us to turn this lady in to the state. I can certainly see why you all would want me to, but this is kind of a precarious situation we’re in.

I don't think you should have to censor your actions in this situation because this lady goes to your church. So what! You don't owe her anything because of that. What she did is ILLEGAL as a licensed care provider! If someone, say, murdered a little old lady after stealing her purse, would you not report it because they went to your church???

[saimeiyu]

Diplomacy my big toe. If your church is screwed up enough to get all mad at you for being concerned about the WELFARE OF CHILDREN there's something seriously wrong with it.

If you do not report her, you are morally responsible of one of those kids gets hurt. End of story.

Silence means you approve.

[butterfly_mommy]

Originally Posted by IlluminatedAttic

Well, personally I think the second lady is much more a risk than the first, though I only have your two examples to go by. Honestly I would have been livid with dh if he left our child in the example you describe. I would require a refund for the unused days stating breech of contract and I would contact the state. I would not leave my child in the care of someone who thought it was okay to leave the kids completely alone like that for anything more than an emergency (to deal with an injured child type of thing) or maybe to go to the bathroom for two minutes if she is the only caregiver there. I would be too concerned about what other risks she deems acceptable.

As for the first placement, do you mean that you thought your daughter should be receiving a preschool type program with circle time and academic activities like learning the ABCs, or just that you wanted to see some free choice art projects or playdough type activities offered? If it is the first then you should probably do some research to solidify what your educational philosophy is for your dd and look for a daycare or preschool that states they offer such a curriculum. Depending on your area (rural or urban) you are more likely to find such a program at a larger center. Even if you find it in a home situation it will probably cost more as it is likely to be run by a former preschool teacher now offering home care in order to stay home with her own kids but still requiring higher compensation for her higher training.

Most small home daycares are more play based and viewed as an extension of, well, home. Therefore playing most of the day, some book reading, some outside play time, maybe some extra fun with painting or playdough, all happen while the supervising "mom" is preparing and cleaning up from meals, activities, diaper changes, naps and yes, some minor housework. Disappearing to rake the front yard alone - NO, but sweeping the kitchen floor, emptying the dishwasher or folding a load of clothes while supervising play, yes.

Good luck with the new search and the new babe! I'm sure this is all very stressful for you right now.

I agree totally and completely with this post.

[1littlebit]

i think you should report it. the other parents have a right to know their kids are not being well supervised. also, how would you feel if you had been using this daycare and mentioned it to another mother who said 'o yeah, we used to use her too but then we found her outside and the kids completely unsupervised. we haven't gone back since' ? i would wish that she had reported so that i would not have unknowingly left my child with someone who was neglecting her job.

[Amylcd]

I would be angry too, because I would expect the woman to do the job I was paying her to do.

"Good people" don't leave babies unattended to do yard work.

I do. Not only do I consider myself a "good" mother, I would go as far as to say wonderful. I don't lock DD in the house, if she wanted to come out she is more than welcome (and can open the door herself), however, she is usually napping or playing and doesn't want to be outside with me.

[1littlebit]

yeah but she's yours... IMO thats the difference... i'll go get something from the car or w/e while ds is napping but he's my kid yk?

[deadheadmomma]

Here in Wichita about a year ago a little girl died at a home daycare because she was left unattended in a car seat that was too little for her. She was left in the bathroom and no one checked on her and evidently the car seat being too little didn't allow her to breath properly. I would report her, next time a baby might die, nothing is worth that. And any true Christians would not hold it against you.

[SandraS]

Originally Posted by 1littlebit

yeah but she's yours... IMO thats the difference... i'll go get something from the car or w/e while ds is napping but he's my kid yk?

Yup. I know how safe my own children are when I leave them "alone". That does not mean that I would do it to children I was being paid to care for.

[annekevdbroek]

I would pull my child immediately, request a refund in writing citing what occured. I would also report her to the state. If she does this, what else does she do? How can she possibly leave young children unsupervised like that? What is one of them started choking? The fact that they were in highchairs actually makes it worse in my mind because they are immobilized and it suggests to me that she does this routinely (she has worked out a system to keep the kids in once place while she goes about her day).

[rebirth]

my biggest concern about the children's safety is that they were left in high chairs!!! what if a chair fell, and a child had to scream for 30 minutes with a broken bone b/c she couldn't hear all the way out there. :,( Or even worse! I just think this is likely the most possible negative outcome, and a baby/child should never be left alone in a high chair.

I agree, I would report her as well, b/c she endangered those babies, and will undoubtedly do it again. Even if it makes things tough at church, it will blow over. And it would only be a big deal if she or you make it out to be.

[snoopy5386]

I would absolutely not go back there, not for a second. I can't even a little bit understand how or why your DH left her there today. He had errands to run?? DD couldn't come with him? Is that worth her life? If he is off for the summer why do you have to send her at all? Especially if you are trying to save money. I would absolutely report her. I am sure this is not the first time she has done something like this. There are other churches out there.

[The4OfUs]

OP, I can understand that it might be uncomfortable, but PLEASE put yourself in the shoes of all the other parents whose children were in highchairs while their "caretaker" was outside, completely out of range...if you were them, wouldn't you want to know about it? Wouldn't you be horrified to know that it had happened to your own child? Not turning her in is condoning what she's doing. I'm sorry that it might cause strife and stress in your life, but really, this *is* a hill to die on. All the other parents probably have NO idea this is going on.

[dearmama22]

Oh no! Sorry that happened. I'd get your babe out of there ASAP, good luck!

[accountclosed2]

Get your child out and report that lady!

And about your previous daycare provider, this new situation is certainly worse. The first situation would be acceptable (if not ideal to you). I am assuming that you didn't mean that you wanted a pre-school environment for your child (if you do, chose a good pre-school!),, and that what you mean is that the woman didn't encourage children's play, read books to the children, play music and do silly dancing, arrange for activities sometimes like painting or play dough or baking (stuff that I would say IS an extension of the home, but needs to be planned and prepared a bit more when you have a group of children than if you just have your own one or 2 kids at home). I personally don't think that it is asking too much that a day care provide will do some of these things, not all the time, but something every day. I know that some don't, and that there are parents who don't ask for it, but that is just that people see childcare as well as parenting differently.

[Just My Opinion]

(saw this in new posts)

Originally Posted by snoopy5386

I would absolutely not go back there, not for a second. I can't even a little bit understand how or why your DH left her there today. He had errands to run?? DD couldn't come with him? Is that worth her life? If he is off for the summer why do you have to send her at all? Especially if you are trying to save money. I would absolutely report her. I am sure this is not the first time she has done something like this. There are other churches out there.

I agree 100%. Had to run errands? I am not trying to come down on your dh, but c'mon now. Come on, it was not like, 'oh dear, he would have lost his job and we would be homeless if he didn't leave her there temporarily, he didn't know what to do!!!' Errands? I am shocked.

I would personally be more livid at dh than the DCP.

[weliveintheforest]

What about talking to the woman, or the other parents? They do deserve to know, but maybe it can happen without this woman being reported to the state. Maybe you could write her a letter and have a meeting or something?

[1littlebit]

Originally Posted by weliveintheforest

What about talking to the woman, or the other parents? They do deserve to know, but maybe it can happen without this woman being reported to the state. Maybe you could write her a letter and have a meeting or something?

she already knows it is wrong.. i don't think it will change.. she will just hide it better.

[Belia]

Originally Posted by annekevdbroek

I would pull my child immediately, request a refund in writing citing what occured. I would also report her to the state.

:

I agree that you have a moral responsibility to report her to the state. I know it is easy for us out here in cyberland to pontificate on what you HAVE to do, because we don't have to deal with the fallout. And I also know that confrontation sucks. Truly, I am sensitive to how tough that is.

But IMO, you have to do it. For the safety and well-being of all of those kids.

Come back here and vent to us if the sh!t hits the fan at your church- we'll back you.