Need to vent. How do the other "weirdos" handle this daily? - Page 2

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by 1littlebit

this happened to someone in one of my infant development classes in college. do they really consider it co sleeping? b/c in a room full of family studies majors (except me.. i was there for the infant part since i was pg) no one considered that co sleeping.

I haven't heard the ad, but the way the OP presented it, it didn't mention "co-sleeping" in the way most of us on here know it. It said don't ever sleep with your children because children die that way. It may well be that in a poverty stricken area, people deliberating sleep with their babies because they don't have the room or resources to sleep any other way. So, those #s may represent babies who have died while sleeping in an adult bed.

Yes, I think for the purposes of those types of scare-tactic adds, they consider any kind of sleeping with a baby as bad. It's the crib manufacturers and sellers/marketers who support those adds. They want it to seem as if having a baby sleep any other way than in a crib with bars is dangerous. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who won't go any further than that. They hear it as a "public service announcement" from a government agency and assume it must be true and follow it. (I have a feeling a room full of family studies college students would have more resources available to them to look into the issue a bit more than the people that ad was targeted toward.)

[Ruthla]

You know, I still don't understand why the "juvenile products manufacturers" don't make a king-sized crib! Just think about it- instead of selling $300 cribs, they could start selling $1000 "family beds"! I am truly, honestly surprised that they're not going all out about "safe co sleeping" and implying that you need tons of specialized equipment to do so safely.

I think it's pretty obvious that the anti co-sleeping people are twisting around the numbers. It probably is true that 2-3 babies die per week, in adult beds, within a certain geographical area. Whether or not you'd necessarily call the whole area "your neighborhood" is up for debate. Nor is it clear that those babies died BECAUSE they were in adult beds. Most of them probably died from medical problems (that the parents and medical providers were aware of, or that were completely undiagnosed), and would have died no matter where they were sleeping. Some may have been victims of child abuse. The point is, you can't say that being in an adult bed caused those deaths, just because the deaths occurred in adult beds.

[Evergreen]

For the OP- you really aren't weird. Most people in the world do sleep with their babies. The radio commercial reallllly sucks- Seriously, if two babies a week died in a neighborhood from cosleeping you'd know it. So would I, so would the rest of the world. I can't believe they can get away with rampant lying. Where I live (eastern NC- not exactly a liberal haven) I guess one could say I am more extreme about some things- I breastfeed longer, cosleep longer, baby wear with more unusual carriers, and the like but I've noticed that most parents do these things to some degree. There is a Csection-happy OB in town and even the most "mainstream" epidural loving women in our community are beginning to avoid him because of his track record. They're putting together the high instances of unnecessary inductions and subsequent cesareans. Only those who know in advance they need cesareans are going to him- because he is very good at it! I hope that changes such as these do happen in other communities. I think they are, but for some reason it seems spankers are more vocal about their position, so are those who circumcise and the like...

As far as being "fat " is concerned. It took me a long time to realize that fat is not the opposite of healthy- seriously probably until 2006. I am 100 lbs which is about target for my height perhaps a bit underweight but not much. I am the most unhealthy person ever. I eat poorly, get winded after jogging two blocks, etc. If I didn't have a fast metabolism I know I'd be fat and people would correctly assume I am unhealthy. Instead, I am skinny and they incorrectly assume I am healthy. The healthiest person I know is actually one of the largest. It isn't really fair to her that she has to endure such cruel judgment from society who thinks she must have some awful character flaw to have let herself get so big. It's just the way she is built.

[EarthMommy80]

I didn't read all the posts because they seemed to be getting off topic.

Anyways, I say Rock the Wierd!!!
I just bought a sticker for my van that says Focus On Your Own D*** Family lol

I just try not to talk about my parenting "philosophies" and only answer questions when asked. I would be a hypocrit to judge or even have discussions with most parents about thier philosophies, so I just don't. I think we all do the best we can/know how.
I don't give up friends for thier differences in parenting, and they all just know I'm the "wierd" mama they know! lol

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by Ruthla

I think it's pretty obvious that the anti co-sleeping people are twisting around the numbers. It probably is true that 2-3 babies die per week, in adult beds, within a certain geographical area. Whether or not you'd necessarily call the whole area "your neighborhood" is up for debate. Nor is it clear that those babies died BECAUSE they were in adult beds. Most of them probably died from medical problems (that the parents and medical providers were aware of, or that were completely undiagnosed), and would have died no matter where they were sleeping. Some may have been victims of child abuse. The point is, you can't say that being in an adult bed caused those deaths, just because the deaths occurred in adult beds.

Very good point!

Evergreen ~ I'm in eastern NC, too. I'm now curious whether or not I'm thinking of the right OB. Of course, eastern NC is a pretty big area. You can PM with the answer if you'd like. There are two OBs in my town that I tell everyone to avoid like the plague.

I'm definitely a weirdo in the military community. Homebirth : co-sleep on purpose no spanking unschooling , etc., etc. I've gotten to the point where it's kind of fun being the weirdo, although sometimes it can feel very isolating.

I called TriCare, the military medical insurance company, recently to ask some questions about CPMs and home birth. It took a while to even get someone who knew what I was talking about. They never could answer the CPM question. Apparently, the people didn't know what one was or how they are different from CNMs.

[major_mama11]

OP, I hate ads like that. They were playing horrible TV ads like that around here when DD was a babe. Grrrr.

I'm the local weird one around here. Nowadays I just do my thing and if someone asks questions, fine, but I don't really bring up parenting choices unless asked. My two best mama friends are *very* different from me in terms of parenting philosophies, but we basically just respect each others' differences. I have noticed that breastfeeding and gentle discipline seem to be contagious, though!

Originally Posted by VeezieTG

i was going to say the same exact thing about co-sleeping safely rather than just passing out with a kid in an unsafe place! those numbers HAVE to be wrong... i love the co-sleeping safety pamphlets my ped passes out. they have detailed info about how to safely co-sleep and also what you might be doing wrong if you're currently co-sleeping. it has the obligatory "higher risk of infant death, according to the AAP" but the rest of the pamphlet is pretty awesome. there are alot of parents who are misinformed about co-sleeping. it be nice to see some REAL VALID info going around instead of propaganda. there's a LOT of info out there, but its not easy to access for new parents if they don't already kind of know where to look. it be awesome to see some "co-sleep with your baby for an amazing nighttime bond! see xyz.com for safety guidlines" billboards.

Wow...that's awesome that your ped passes those out! And I thought our doc was awesome for having basically a 'don't ask/ don't tell' policy re: co-sleeping. I work in healthcare, and I've always wished we had something like this to pass out- most people co-sleep at least now and then, whether they admit it or not, may as well give them truthful info, rather than making people feel like they have to hide it.


And on the body size thing, I was a size 6 at age 20, but I'm much healthier now at a size 12-14. Back then I ate almost all processed, fatty foods out of a box, and never exercised. Then at 21 my adult metabolism kicked in and now I am having to work pretty hard to get back down to a better weight, in spite of eating much healthier now, having a decent amount of muscle, better physical endurance, etc.

[Quinalla]

While I am still pregnant with my first, I definitely know what you are experiencing. I hear folks spouting what they think are "facts" about pregnancy, childbirth, etc. and it makes me cringe. I try to gently point them to better information, but a lot of times it feels like a lost cause before you even try, but I figure I didn't learn everything I know overnight either and I still am learning a lot. I saw forum posts or heard comments here and there and it got me curious enough to research for myself, so I hope that maybe one of my friendly comments or posts helps someone else do the same. That's my goal I guess, to be a reasonable voice of dissent that makes people think a bit more than they would otherwise. I have been that on non-child related issues all my life as I am definitely a bit weird

[The4OfUs]

Originally Posted by major_mama11

I have noticed that breastfeeding and gentle discipline seem to be contagious, though! .

These are two diseases I'm totally down with spreading EVERYWHERE. I love this quote!

[TiredX2]

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[farmkids42morrow]

When it comes to parenting, when your kids are little you do a lot of defending if you choose a different path than the majority. Give it a few years though and the tide turns. I have had countless people stop me in stores, restaurants, the library etc. to tell me how great my kids are and "what is your secret?" is something I hear all the time. Sometimes defending yourself seems like your only recourse, but truly the evidence of good parenting is right there with you - the kids themselves. Your kids are still young, just hold on a little longer and you'll be the momma everyone envies because your kids are wonderful.