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will it ever return to normal??? - Page 2

post #21 of 27
Well, hopefully there is a light ahead for you, though we have different situations, as mine aren't walking yet. We just hit 14 months and it is wonderful!!! But I have found as well that being a working mom can add a lot of stress to parenting, as you're having to get somewhere looking somewhat professional, in a somewhat timely manner, and then switch hats to worker bee from mama bee. I was nursing my babies in between clients, so I was constantly switching hats which made me exhausted. I have found parenting to be so much more delightful on the days when all I have to do is parent, and not work......
Also, I found that DD1 who is almost 5 was getting the brunt of my stress, and instead of seeing her intentions as good, I was just waiting for her to do something wrong. I know it sounds simpleton-ish, but I really do better when I assume that the kiddos all have the best intentions (and ultimately I do think they do). This includes one twin deciding to explore the other's face with hitting like movements.....
Also, I am almost completely off of caffeine now, as I realized that the last thing my adrenals need is more stress, and caffeine is a big one.
post #22 of 27
Yes, enjoy those words CarrieCo. I find they go down best with ample amounts of chocolate!

Honestly for me, life improved 500% when the twins started walking. They stopped NEEDING me for everything and that was huge! They also became playmates for DS instead of competiton and that eased things alot too. We are fast approaching 2 now (just a few more weeks) and things are even easier. The twins are now potty trained in the house (as long as they are bare bummed) and DS finally trained too (he has trained 4 times... he keeps regressing. He's finally on board with it because the twins do it too). The house is finally starting to get cleaned and things are pretty normal. We're trying to simplify, because when you have stuff you have more work to do. The simpler things are the less we have to do!

Oh and it's been SUCH a change that we're having another baby, because honestly if I survived colicy/high needs twins I can survive anything.
post #23 of 27
Thread Starter 
just wanted to say thanks, and I love you all!
post #24 of 27
Originally Posted by Intertwined View Post
Hmmm, we managed to "teach" our children to sleep without letting them cry it out, though there are more tears with twins here than there were with singles by virture of two babies and one Mama.
ITA....Unfortunately my twins have cried more than my singletons when it comes down to getting to bed but it hasn't been intentional. It is different with twins but in many ways it's the same issues and you have to be creative and come up with new solutions - things you never even considered before and may even seem a little crazy . I remember one night lying on my side nursing and patting one baby and stretching my leg across the bed to use my foot to pat the other baby because my arm didn't reach. I remember thinking "is this for real?"

And no...they don't sleep through the night but neither did my singletons at 1 year. For the time being I make other choices when I'm feeling exhausted and that's worked for the past 6 years. I employ dh's help at night or I go to bed early. A few nights ago I went to bed for the night at 6:30pm when I nursed the babies to sleep. I missed out on time with dh and stories with my other dc's but I felt much better the next day. I realize for some suffering from major sleep deprivation this might seem like glib advice but it's worked for us so far. It's hard and I do look forward to the day when I get to sleep at night again. For now I'll try to enjoy the snuggles.
post #25 of 27
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post #26 of 27
Originally Posted by CarrieCo View Post
Speaking with no parenting experience at all ......

When I deal with kids and I feel my patience going out the window, I find comfort in the tactics and theories that I've learned. That way I'm not flying by the seat of my pants or just reacting, but coming from a theory base on how to deal with the kids. Things like distracting, giving them options, visualizing, behavior modification, etc.
laughup :

Good luck with that! Come back in a few years and let us know how it goes!
post #27 of 27
In my experience, my life improved dramatically when I started getting regular sleep again. (For us, that wasn't until they were THREE FREAKING YEARS OLD.)

Once I got over the longterm sleep deprivation (which took about another year), I felt like a superwoman. My standards are way lower than they used to be, and it's possible I will never get my "mind" back, but things are so much easier now.

Mine are starting full day kindie in the fall and I don't know what to do with myself!

It WILL get better. Promise.
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