Single Mothers by Choice! - Page 18

[prescottchels]

Welcome to our ranks Lilith38
UP = unassisted pregnancy, as in taking care of & monitoring yourself throughout pregnancy w/o a doc or midwife

UC = unassisted childbirth, homebirth w/o a medical person in attendance or a hands off midwife in another room.

EC = elimination communication. There's a whole sub forum on the topic here at mdc, maybe in diapering? basically potty training your infant.

AP = attachment parenting. some things that fall into that category: breast feeding (bf), co-sleeping, babywearing, EC, homebirthing...

Feel free to keep asking

[lilith38]

thanks! I was also wondering what the difference is between diy home insemination and going to a doc for an IUI in terms of success? I like the idea of the diy route but i am wondering if it is less effective and therefore more expensive in the long run.

[Newbian Mama]

Originally Posted by lilith38

thanks! I was also wondering what the difference is between diy home insemination and going to a doc for an IUI in terms of success? I like the idea of the diy route but i am wondering if it is less effective and therefore more expensive in the long run.

I think IUI at a medical office has higher success rate than IUI at home which has a higher success rate than ICI at home. If you lurk on the Queer Parenting board you'll see lots of people who got pregnant using at home ICI and lots who got pregnant with IUI. Anecdotally, it seems most people start with ICI and then progress to IUI if necessary.

KCMommy, Mittens Kittens, Satori, everyone else.... how are you all?

[Newbian Mama]

prescottchels - It's almost April!! Any news on the baby-making front? Inquiring (nosy!) minds want to know

[soso-lynn]

Originally Posted by lilith38

Hi everyone!
I am a single 38 year old woman in rural Quebec, just outside of montreal. I have been researching my options for about two months now trying to figure out what route (if any) I want to take to become a mom.

I am thinking of going for IUI with unknown donor sperm. I will have to make some pretty radical life changes if I am going to be able to afford the sperm. I am a teacher and I am considering working in Northern Quebec (James Bay) where the salary and benefits are higher. For those of you who don't know Canada, James Bay is very remote and isolated). I worked there about three years ago. It is tough but doable.

I have been going throw the posts here and being a newbie there are terms I still don't know. What is UC and EC? I assume BF means breast feeding?

Love this chance to talk to those of you are already on the path!

Hello from Montreal!

May I ask where you are planning on doing your IUIs? Choosing a good clinic can really help lower the costs, especially in your late thirties, you do not want a doctor who wil make you waste your time and money on poorly managed cycles.

I think that James Bay is a pretty cool project if you are into it. Many people also go to Nunavut.

[soso-lynn]

Originally Posted by lilith38

thanks! I was also wondering what the difference is between diy home insemination and going to a doc for an IUI in terms of success? I like the idea of the diy route but i am wondering if it is less effective and therefore more expensive in the long run.

In Canada, sperm banks will only ship to a clinic not to your house so home inseminations are pretty much out unless you plan on shipping accross the border and doing your inseminations there.

[prescottchels]

NewbianMama... ummmm gee well.... I have no idea what I'm doing on the baby front. I looked again the sperm bank option and it's really just not doin it for me... not that the private known donor option is working wonders either
Just pluggin along everyday, goin to work, crossing things off the To-Do List, making small progresses on the house and generally just trying to get my life in better order so that when baby does finally come along I'll be more ready. I'm not writing off this next cycle or the next one after that even... If everything comes together great, if it doesn't, it doesn't, ya know...?
What's your next move?

[prescottchels]

I just now noticed the new thread name LOVE IT!
Happy April Fools Day Everybody!

[Satori]

Originally Posted by prescottchels

NewbianMama... ummmm gee well.... I have no idea what I'm doing on the baby front. I looked again the sperm bank option and it's really just not doin it for me... not that the private known donor option is working wonders either

You will get to the point were you realize your goal is to have a baby and all the criteria you have right now will seem umm, unnecessary. They don't need to have high IQ's, good looking, yada yada yada. At some point many of us (myself included!) realize sperm is sperm and it makes a baby and as long as there's not major defects in his family and the major criteria matches what you want skin/hair/blood type then thats all that matters. Designer babies are nice in theory but a baby in your arms is even nicer and I can promise you that you won't regret not going with so and so because you'll be to busy enjoying your babe to much


When I started the process I had a long list of criteria, when it came down to it I ended up picking a donor who's profile I hadn't even seen outside of the short 1 page profile online! But you know what? He worked, not once but TWICE on the 1st try! After all the agonizing over picking a donor at the last minute I had to change donors (format issues discovered after buying the sperm) and he worked and thats all that mattered in the end

[Newbian Mama]

Originally Posted by prescottchels

NewbianMama... ummmm gee well.... I have no idea what I'm doing on the baby front. I looked again the sperm bank option and it's really just not doin it for me... not that the private known donor option is working wonders either

Glad to hear you're making progress on your house and turning it into a home. I don't know if you mentioned it before (my memory is kinda like Swiss cheese sometimes!) but why don't you want use a sperm bank? Is it the anonymity of it? I can understand that reasoning.

Originally Posted by Satori

You will get to the point were you realize your goal is to have a baby and all the criteria you have right now will seem umm, unnecessary. They don't need to have high IQ's, good looking, yada yada yada. At some point many of us (myself included!) realize sperm is sperm and it makes a baby and as long as there's not major defects in his family and the major criteria matches what you want skin/hair/blood type then thats all that matters. Designer babies are nice in theory but a baby in your arms is even nicer and I can promise you that you won't regret not going with so and so because you'll be to busy enjoying your babe to much


When I started the process I had a long list of criteria, when it came down to it I ended up picking a donor who's profile I hadn't even seen outside of the short 1 page profile online! But you know what? He worked, not once but TWICE on the 1st try! After all the agonizing over picking a donor at the last minute I had to change donors (format issues discovered after buying the sperm) and he worked and thats all that mattered in the end

Although I think choosing the right donor is such a personal decision, I do agree with a lot of what you said. I almost eliminated a donor because his grandfather had Type 1 Diabetes. WTH? Lol. I think it's so easy to get caught up in the little minute details that we can miss the ultimate goal, to have a sweet little one in arms.

Best of luck to everyone who is making the donor decision.

[Newbian Mama]

ROFLMAO!! I was thinking what the hell kind of language is that?!? I'm honored to get the Swedish Chef treatment

[MittensKittens]

Oh, my GOD!!! What is going on here? I was just checking to see how you all were, but I can't read a thing!

[Satori]

man I hate april fools on mdc... past couple years it was bad enough when they messed up the forum titles. This crap just makes people not post for the day.

[BunnySlippers]

ohhhh, that is what is going on...I was wondering if the place got hacked lol. Im OK with it, 'tis only one day of silliness.

Every board has some silly tradition..I love them.

[Newbian Mama]

Originally Posted by MittensKittens

Oh, my GOD!!! What is going on here? I was just checking to see how you all were, but I can't read a thing!

Just a little April Fool's humor


No need for flames. Choosing a donor is a highly personal decision, one that you and your child will live with forever Are there a lot of gay men on the known donor lists? Only Rainbow Flag Health Services uses openly gay donors but I suppose one could lie. Even though my criteria have changed, I still have a list of "must haves" and "don't wants". No men under 5'10" and they can't wear glasses or contacts. Let all the short, near-sighted men flame away

[MittensKittens]

Originally Posted by Newbian Mama

Just a little April Fool's humor

Yeah, I think I was the first to post in thread jail, because we are on Central European Time here . Then, we left the house and went to the zoo with some friends. I thought, "Is this it for April Fool's Day then?" and was a bit disappointed. Then I came back and saw the Chefese when I tried to check into here. Hilarious


Chelsie, no flames but curiosity . Is that OK? Why don't you want top use a gay donor? Choosing a donor is relatively important (the donor plays much less of a role in your head when you already have kids, of course). I had lots of criteria as well. Just curious about yours, and also if you are OK with a gay donor who just chooses not to mention his sexual orientation? I'm sure it happens.

How is everyone else? I haven't been in here much, because I am soooo busy with work these days. I am happy spring is finally here.

[prescottchels]

Satori-actually there are some folks that believe being gay is genetic, fwiw...

Rainbow Flag was the bank I re-looked at first cuz of the short wait to meet the donor, which I really like, BUT the selection there doesn't meet my needs. sigh.

Thanks for the giggle NewbianMama

MittensKittens-It's out of my control-those donors who choose not to be honest or reveal their sexual orientation so I don't even think about that.
I kinda feel like being raised in a society that isn't completely ok w/single parent families or gays, yet, is challenging enough for a child w/o pre-disposing them whether genetically or energetically to being gay. Not saying that a child born from gay sperm would for sure grow up to be gay, but in my head I'm going why risk it....? Unless of course it's in their soul's contract for this life then, que sera sera... It'll happen no matter what I do or who I choose. Maybe this is why I haven't found a donor yet
I'm starting to learn the differences between control, being clear about what I want/setting a clear intent, and allowing things to unfold as they will for the highest good/purpose of everyone involved. It's hard.
Basically my criteria have been reduced to someone that has O- bloodtype.
It seems that's hard enough w/o putting other requirements on him like that he looks somewhat like me... blond hair and blue or green eyes. That combo seems to be an anomaly of the O- bloodtype at least among sperm donors lol

[KCMommy]

Originally Posted by soso-lynn

In Canada, sperm banks will only ship to a clinic not to your house so home inseminations are pretty much out unless you plan on shipping accross the border and doing your inseminations there.

Actually, Repromed has a home insemination program and will ship sperm to your home. You do have to do blood tests, a phone consult with a doctor, etc first, though. This is the route that I am taking.

Update: Not much new on my front. My local doctor wouldn't sign off on my blood tests because my name wasn't on the requisitions from Repromed so I have to re-do those. I have been stalling a bit because I really wanted to be down to a good weight before TTC. Also not quite done my divorce.

[KCMommy]

Originally Posted by terran631

I guess my biggest problem is the reactions of my family (they're not exactly open minded people) and my current client base. I teach children and most of my clients know I'm not married.

Hi Terran, I am in the same boat as you. I have a commercial daycare and there are going to be a lot of eyebrows raised when I become pregnant, because I have been single for a year and a half. I will have to find a way to announce the fact that I used donor sperm, because I would much prefer them to know that rather than speculate that the director of their children's daycare is out having unprotected one night stands. lol!

[prescottchels]

This is my new favorite song
My boss sent me this link last night and it cracked me up so I thought I'd share
http://www.lala.com/#search/folk%20u...nock%20me%20up