Single Mothers by Choice! - Page 3

[Seasons]

Originally Posted by Newbian Mama

Searching around the Internet I found this list:

http://www.adoptive-parenting.com/si...-adoption.html

HTH

Respectfully, that link is outdated (talks about a possible future event in 2007). Most of the five (only five?!) countries it lists as open to single parent adoption no longer are, including China, Guatamala and Vietnam.

Ethiopian adoption is still possible by single women (not single men), although they prefer marrieds: http://adoption.state.gov/country/ethiopia.html

Russian adoption is still possible: http://adoption.state.gov/country/russia.html

Those are the only two countries I could find where single women can adopt.

[Newbian Mama]

Originally Posted by lanamommyphd07

What a nice surprise to see this thread! I sometimes cruise the single parenting thread, but even as a SMC, nothing ever related to life as a single parent! Everything revolves around "single parent but I'm mad about it" it seems.
I made my daughter with anon sperm, but the donor contacted us through the DSR, and kiddo (2 y.o.) has 10 sibs so far. Kid #2 will be put in the oven later this year, but I have to use a different donor as my first is sold out and isn't interested in doing a private donation--and honestly I can't afford the time or money to get him out of retirement through the lab...
Great idea, this thread, OP!!!!
Would love to have some kindred hearts in the "real" ups and downs of single parenthood. There are some times I wished there were 'rental husbands/wives' for times that I just needed one more hand for a minute (like when the weeds got so tall in the back that I got a ticket right after dd was born) (or when dd was wee and would not make a 45 minute car ride without nursies, so every outing became a huge deal) But of course we made it through...would love for us to all swap stories about conquering these types of challenges.

:

I cruise the Single Parent's board from time to time and just when I think I've found a topic to read, the same issues of custody, financial support, and other issues SMCs can't relate to. I'm glad MittensKittens created this thread.

[Newbian Mama]

Originally Posted by Seasons

Respectfully, that link is outdated (talks about a possible future event in 2007). Most of the five (only five?!) countries it lists as open to single parent adoption no longer are, including China, Guatamala and Vietnam.

Ethiopian adoption is still possible by single women (not single men), although they prefer marrieds: http://adoption.state.gov/country/ethiopia.html

Russian adoption is still possible: http://adoption.state.gov/country/russia.html

Those are the only two countries I could find where single women can adopt.

Seasons, thank you for that update. I came upon that page after a cursory glance at Google. Next time I'll read more carefully! I know that Haiti is open to single women adopting but not single men. (link is to a private agency).

[andy1078]

Originally Posted by vegasgrl

Well I would now officially classify myself as a SMC, even though I didn't go the donor route. I might as well have and I'm seriously considering telling DD we just had a donor, but I know who he was. Hopefully I have a few years to figure that one out.

I had some trouble in the beginning with ChoiceMoms and such cuz I didn't feel like I actually fit in there since this was a huge oops and not planned. But I AM planning on terminating his rights (which he agrees to) and probably not having him on the birth certificate, and I chose to have the baby even though it was an oops, so yeah, I'm a SMC.

Thanks for your post! I was wondering what the definition of SMC really was. And your situation just cleared it up for me, as it is almost my situation identically. Except, that my 'donor' is not on the birth certificate, thankfully.

[prescottchels]

Ohhh Hurray Hurray an SMC thread!! I was just thinking about starting one and then here you are! I'm on the Choice Mom Yahoo group, but most of the gals there are more mainstream than me so it's nice to have the MDC twist on things.
I'll be joining your ranks VERY soon! Planning to get pg in 3 weeks!! we need a nail biting smiley lol not that I do that, but I've been feeling like that inside lately. Hoping everything all comes together and that the Universe likes my plan as much as I do
I'm 32 and will be doing a home insem w/donor sperm. Got tired of dealing w/the whole relationship thing when really I can do without the drama of that. I really just want to be a mama to my babes, not my partner, ya know? I'm loving the idea of not having to convince anyone else that my way of parenting is better than theirs lol AP, homebirthing, bed sharing, etc, etc
Oh I really can't wait!!!! Even though I have a million things I want/need to do before I'm preggers awww well... it all works out one way or another...
Cheers,
Chelsie

[EmmyJane]

Originally Posted by MittensKittens

EmmyJane, good luck with your cycle! :

Thank you, I just did the retrieval and all went well now it's just the transfer and the waiting.

[EmmyJane]

Good luck prescottchels, I was 33 when I started my first inseminations. I have a little girl and now I'm working on number 2. Unfortunately It's IVF, but all that counts is the end results.

[prescottchels]

Thanks Emmyjane!! Good luck to you too!! :

[Newbian Mama]

Good luck Chelsie!! I'll be 32 when I TTC in the next few months. I'm glad you're going first so you can lead the way. LOL. Can't wait to hear about your progress

One of the (many) great things about being an SMC is being able to make all the decisions regarding birth choices, family bed, vax, etc.

Originally Posted by prescottchels

Ohhh Hurray Hurray an SMC thread!! I was just thinking about starting one and then here you are! I'm on the Choice Mom Yahoo group, but most of the gals there are more mainstream than me so it's nice to have the MDC twist on things.
I'll be joining your ranks VERY soon! Planning to get pg in 3 weeks!! we need a nail biting smiley lol not that I do that, but I've been feeling like that inside lately. Hoping everything all comes together and that the Universe likes my plan as much as I do
I'm 32 and will be doing a home insem w/donor sperm. Got tired of dealing w/the whole relationship thing when really I can do without the drama of that. I really just want to be a mama to my babes, not my partner, ya know? I'm loving the idea of not having to convince anyone else that my way of parenting is better than theirs lol AP, homebirthing, bed sharing, etc, etc
Oh I really can't wait!!!! Even though I have a million things I want/need to do before I'm preggers awww well... it all works out one way or another...
Cheers,
Chelsie

[Newbian Mama]

Originally Posted by EmmyJane

Thank you, I just did the retrieval and all went well now it's just the transfer and the waiting.

Woot, you're in the 2ww! Good luck :

[prescottchels]

Originally Posted by Newbian Mama

Good luck Chelsie!! I'll be 32 when I TTC in the next few months. I'm glad you're going first so you can lead the way. LOL. Can't wait to hear about your progress

Ahhh yes, the story of my life! lol At least I'm not diverging from *my* norm!
I'll be sure to keep you all posted!

[EmmyJane]

Originally Posted by Newbian Mama

Woot, you're in the 2ww! Good luck :

NO it didn't work out for me. The eggs didn't fertilize. I cried for 2 days. Now I'm picking myself up. The doctor thinks the sperm was the problem. I just wanted my daughter to have a full sibling. Oh well. that's life.

I think tomorrow, We'll spend the day at the zoo and have a fun time.
Good luck to all who are beginning this journey of ttc.

[prescottchels]

Awww sorry to hear that. s

[Newbian Mama]

Oh I'm so sorry things didn't work out. Hugs to you.

Originally Posted by EmmyJane

NO it didn't work out for me. The eggs didn't fertilize. I cried for 2 days. Now I'm picking myself up. The doctor thinks the sperm was the problem. I just wanted my daughter to have a full sibling. Oh well. that's life.

I think tomorrow, We'll spend the day at the zoo and have a fun time.
Good luck to all who are beginning this journey of ttc.

[Newbian Mama]

LOL! It's usually me forging the path so it's nice to be the "next" one instead of the first. When I first told my family about my plans to become an SMC I thought they were going to puke/cry/faint, but after everyone expressed their opinion, a family member said "you've always been weird so this is nothing new"! Now that same person is in the Thinking phase of becoming an SMC too but says she won't pull the trigger until I go first!

Originally Posted by prescottchels

Ahhh yes, the story of my life! lol At least I'm not diverging from *my* norm!
I'll be sure to keep you all posted!

[prescottchels]

Originally Posted by Newbian Mama

...a family member said, "you've always been weird so this is nothing new"!

I think that my family and some of my friends think this same thing about me, but I've never actually heard them say it out loud...

So funny that that same person is now thinking about becoming a SMC, what a hoot!

[Newbian Mama]

Oh, I think they may all think that! In fact, I'm shocked myself when I like or do something that the "normals" do.

That family member doesn't mince words and says exactly what's on her brain, no filter! She balked at how much donor sperm cost and said I could buy a Buick instead. I told her I wanted a baby more than I wanted a Buick!

Originally Posted by prescottchels

I think that my family and some of my friends think this same thing about me, but I've never actually heard them say it out loud...

So funny that that same person is now thinking about becoming a SMC, what a hoot!

[Newbian Mama]

One Vial or Two?

For those who used frozen donor sperm, how many vials did you use per cycle? I've been reading anecdotal evidence that one insemination per cycle is fine and others that say two (or more!) per cycle is doubly better. What has been your experience?

[Newbian Mama]

One Vial or Two?

Double post

[Satori]

Originally Posted by Newbian Mama

For those who used frozen donor sperm, how many vials did you use per cycle? I've been reading anecdotal evidence that one insemination per cycle is fine and others that say two (or more!) per cycle is doubly better. What has been your experience?

Depends on how well you know your cycle. I've had 2 successful ICI cycles. The first one I planned on using 3 vials 12 hours apart If I remember right (its been 4 years) and only ended up using 2 vials before my temp rose. I ended up losing that baby at 8 weeks due to HG. Tried again after waiting 1 cycle and only had that 3rd remaining vial and by some miracle it worked even though I ended up not ovulating for 36 hours after insem. If I were to have another child I would probably go for 3 vials again just in case, do the 2 vials 12 hours apart then the 3rd if I felt O happen (middleshmitz or what ever its called). You just have to REALLY know your body. I discovered I literally O'd at surge and not 12-36 hours later like most women. If I had followed traditional advice I would never have gotten pregnant. I'm sure someone here will know the title but I followed the advice from a lesbian conception book from someone Brill. Sorry, its almost 4am and I can't sleep and I'm exhausted and my brain is not working..