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Single Mothers by Choice! - Page 23

post #441 of 515

Well, my first interview bailed.  :(  He emailed me while I was at work today and said he wouldn't be meeting with me after all and wished me luck in finding a donor.  Dang, this is going to be a hard, frustrating process...  Still waiting on two others who said they wanted to meet up to write back and see when they can actually meet with me.  Crossing every digit I have that something works out!

post #442 of 515


That sucks! Have you gotten anywhere with the others? Any more responses?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pumpkin_Pie View Post

Well, my first interview bailed.  :(  He emailed me while I was at work today and said he wouldn't be meeting with me after all and wished me luck in finding a donor.  Dang, this is going to be a hard, frustrating process...  Still waiting on two others who said they wanted to meet up to write back and see when they can actually meet with me.  Crossing every digit I have that something works out!



 

post #443 of 515

Hey! I am new to this post and so glad i found it.I am a single mom kinds sorta by choice already to a 9 yo dd.I have been kicking the idea of having another baby around for about 5 years now(dd requested a brother) and i decided this is the year.Not right now cause i want a spring or summer baby this time.I found this cryo bank that has prices lower than any other i have seen called nwcryobank.com.They are $300 less than any other place i have looked so they are probably the one i will go with.Now all i have to do is pin down my o time and i'm all set.

post #444 of 515

Hi, minnowmama!

Looks like you've got a good plan going.

Next time, I think I'll try around the same time. June.

I can understand wanting a summer baby though. You wont be pregnant the hottest time of the year!

 

Habitat, if I remember correctly, you live with other people, right? I read an article on offbeatmama.com that made me think of you. Its about a couple that is raising their child in a multi-purpose household. Sounds like there are plenty of benefits too!

 

How are you ladies doing? Well, I hope.

 

Jett is beginning to make the whole mothering thing fun and scary all at the same time. Today he has been smiling a good bit. He's smiled before but its definitely connected to us making him happy. Very cute.

 

At the same time he had gas earlier and scared me. At 7 weeks old he still doesn't have good control of his eye muscles so while he was crying about his gas, he was trying to focus and his eyes would cross. I, of course, thought the crying had to do with his eyes and so I got worried something was wrong. Hurt my heart but no, he's fine. Two separate things. Once he burped pretty well and was focusing better everything was fine. Phew!

 

Anyways, thats about it on my end.

post #445 of 515

Thanks esg!I hope i get a boy this time.Your baby boy is so cute!Now i only have to think of a way to break it to my mom ,lol.When i got pg with my dd she cryed, and not the good tears either.She thinks because she was done at two i should be the same,even though i told her i always wanted more.I'll have to see if three is the magic number.

post #446 of 515
Quote:
Originally Posted by minnowmomma View Post

Thanks esg!I hope i get a boy this time.Your baby boy is so cute!Now i only have to think of a way to break it to my mom ,lol.When i got pg with my dd she cryed, and not the good tears either.She thinks because she was done at two i should be the same,even though i told her i always wanted more.I'll have to see if three is the magic number.



Thanks! He's a sweetheart. I'm wondering if my next will be a girl cause that would be nice even though I would definitely take either anytime.

 

Did your mom grow into the idea of being a grandmother? I'm sure she will love another grandbaby. Maybe she just wasn't ready for the first one. Either way, its not like she owns your uterus! I sometimes think I'm done with one and I think my mother thinks so too but I'll see if one is only the start for me. I'm thinking already about another baby when Jett is around 16 months (next June!).

 

Either way, I think we both better start chatting with the grandmas if we're hoping for new little ones!

post #447 of 515

Actually my 9 yo is my second one.My oldest is 19 now.Yes she did grow into being grandma,what else could she do?I think some people are more suited to being grandparents than others. I tell her all the time a grandparent has one job,just love the kids unconditionally.When i was growing up i had the best grandparents and just want that for my kids,but both my parents have controll issues so i'm not gonna hold my breath  or allow what they want to influence my decisions. I have a lot of love to give and think there is no better investment of it or my time than my kids.My oldest told me she had a dream last week that i had a baby,lol,which is so funny because i havent told either of my girls what i am planning(don't want to get their hopes up if it doesn't turn out like i plan.)

post #448 of 515
Quote:
Originally Posted by minnowmomma View Post

Actually my 9 yo is my second one.My oldest is 19 now.Yes she did grow into being grandma,what else could she do?I think some people are more suited to being grandparents than others. I tell her all the time a grandparent has one job,just love the kids unconditionally.When i was growing up i had the best grandparents and just want that for my kids,but both my parents have controll issues so i'm not gonna hold my breath  or allow what they want to influence my decisions. I have a lot of love to give and think there is no better investment of it or my time than my kids.My oldest told me she had a dream last week that i had a baby,lol,which is so funny because i havent told either of my girls what i am planning(don't want to get their hopes up if it doesn't turn out like i plan.)


It did sound like you had two already but I didn't want to assume or be reading that incorrectly.

Her job is truly just to love them cause its not like you're going to skip out on raising them. You're having them cause you love them and want to be there for them.

I think you'll do well trying for a third cause the main ones that count are the main ones that seem to be in favor it (you and your two).

 

post #449 of 515
I'll join in now. I'm a single mama and though I didn't exactly choose to be a single mama in the same way as some of you did, that is what I am, a single mama by choice or rather circumstance maybe. I realized I was pregnant shortly after the breakup and there have been 2 phone calls since then,the last one when my son was 2 months old at 12am with threats from the X so I changed my number and decided not to bother for CS or anything else. I love being a single mom and can't imagine it any other way.
post #450 of 515

Hello ladies, how are you? Any news lately?

 

MamitaM, hi and welcome! There are so many ways to end up here as an SMC. Glad to have you.

How old is your son now? I see your breastmilk stash in your picture. Awesome!

I'm trying to pump so I can have both a stash for emergencies and also so I can one day donate.

 

Pumkin_Pie, what happened with your interviews and your donors? I'm hoping its been going well and you're super busy working it all out.

 

AFM,

 Jett is 3 months old as of this past Thursday. It doesn't feel like its been that long.

 I can already tell he's going to be a silly little sweetheart. he 'talks' and smiles and is just the most fun.

 Beyond that though there's nothing much going on with me.

 

Hope you all are well!

 

post #451 of 515

Hey everybody!

 

I haven't been around a lot, but my plans for a September 2012 conception are still underway!

 

Sometimes I get a little discouraged and I feel like I will regret having a baby by myself, but I know in my heart that it's what I want, so I'm pushing for it.

 

I'm currently going through a breakup with my previous partner. We'd been dating for 8 months and we broke up 2 weeks ago. I got dumped. It's been so hard.

 

BUT, all of this space that I now have for myself can be put into the life that I want to give my future little one. I have fantasies about traveling with my baby!

 

Hope all is well with all of you, and hope this thread gets rolling again soon!

 

Much Love!

 

ETA :: I just realized how many exclamation points I included in this post. Horray for enthusiasm (!).

post #452 of 515

does anyone know of a sperm bank that does gender selection for single women? i have 1 daughter by a (recent) previous (abusive) marriage and would LOVE to have another little girl. i'm almost 40 and feel like i'm running out of time.

post #453 of 515
Quote:
Originally Posted by meandk0610 View Post

does anyone know of a sperm bank that does gender selection for single women? i have 1 daughter by a (recent) previous (abusive) marriage and would LOVE to have another little girl. i'm almost 40 and feel like i'm running out of time.


Last I read, they don't really do this for single women. Of course, I've never researched this so you may find out otherwise, but I heard that they don't do that.

 

How is everyone doing?

 

Habitat, I can't say for sure how you'll feel but I don't at all think you'll regret having a baby on your own. You'll love it even more once your baby is home.

I'm sorry you were dealing with a break up. Hope you're doing well now.

 

Traveling with a baby is honestly one of my dreams. I totally wish I could! I have this plan to get an RV and take off for four months at least. I am planning a little day trip with Jett soon. I read of a place in the paper that's one hour away and full of history and antiques. I can't wait to take him!

 

AFM and Jett, he's such a big, loud little boy now!  He loves to squeal!

 

Hope you ladies are well! Updates? News?

 

post #454 of 515

I'm so happy to see this thread I am going down the single mom by choice route due to having endometriosis and a myriad of other health issues. I will most likely be utilizing a sperm bank. It's nice to see there are others out there on this path or going down this path.

post #455 of 515

I didn't get a chance to read through all 20 plus pages here, but I would love to join. Please, please (yes I am begging haha).

 

I guess technically I don't qualify b/c my child was conceived and born into a married family. But I've chosen to be single now and have considered adopting someday even if I am still single (no interest in a relationship at present but I'd LOVE to someday have more kids!!)

 

 

I'm interested in knowing what kind of reactions you all have gotten and where you have found friends. Honestly - permit me to rant lol - I am SO SICK of people's negative perceptions of single parents!! I was a stay at home mom for 4 and 1/2 yrs and yes, I did struggle HUGELY to make it through the first year of being single. However, I am proud to say I remained true to the ideals that bring me joy: homeschooling, living where my dd can be close to her father, keeping my 11 yr old dog I've had since he was a puppy and going back to school.

 

I've seriously had "friends" argue me on all of these points!! My AP homeschooling friends have fiercely argued that i should just get a dead end job and put dd in before and after school care and get rid of my dog and move from the suburbs to the city. No thanks to them, I will be beginning a doctorate this fall :)  I am however looking for friends - thus the new user name on here even though I've been a long time senior member. Not to judge any of those choices, they just aren't the right ones for me at this present time.

post #456 of 515

Well, I totally understand losing friendships post-divorce b/c you're not suffering enough to make others feel comfortable with your decision to own your own life.  Hugs to you!

 

I don't know how young your youngest is, but I made new friends when I got pregnant with my youngest.  Well, that and I moved across the country.  LOL  I have met great women through LLL.  They are all partnered, but my being single and having a kid by choice that way has only been met with respect the few times it's come up.  We're more interested in what you're doing with your life and the ideas you have than your relationship status. 

 

I haven't had much success, but have you tried meetup.com?  Lots of single mama groups, depending on where you live. 

 

Also, I met folks through support groups (find some mom support groups in your area) and by placing ads on craigslist (yes, I did!). 

 

Good luck!  In my experience, we have to weed through a lot of folks to find a good friend match. 

post #457 of 515

Welcome AZgal and lovebeingmama!

 

AZgal, I went ahead with motherhood after my health problems including Endo started acting up! I used a sperm bank as well.

Good luck!!

 

love being mama, I haven't had any bad reactions from people. I've actually had a few tell me they would have gone that direction had they thought of it sooner. My son was loved from the minute I surprised people with the pregnancy!

 

I'm trying to make more local friends as well. I have a few mom groups from facebook or meetup but as always you have to find the right ones. Much like dating!  I tend to let advice in one ear and out the other when it doesn't fit and most of the time it doesn't! Do what feels right to you and your family.

 

 

post #458 of 515

Hi all,

 

I'm also in the "sorta" category. I'm almost 8mos. pregnant with my first child at 38 yrs. old and chose to end the relationship with this baby's father a few months ago. We had tried and miscarried previous to this pregnancy, during which time I realized that the relationship was not going to last. Shortly afterward we unexpectedly got pregnant, tried to work it out for a while, but in the end I chose to go it alone, and he hasn't made any real attempt to be involved since then. It's a case of his intentions being in the right place, but a mismatch with with actions (i.e. he never actually does what he says he will, so I asked him to stop saying anything at all, which he has respected, thankfully).

 

I'm actually relieved and very excited to be a single mom without the hassles of dealing with a second parent... I have an amazing support group and am just thrilled to finally be a mother. Considering the fact that when I got pregnant, I was down to one tube and we had only one completely unplanned and ill-timed chance to actually conceive, this little guy must have really wanted me to be his mama too. :)

post #459 of 515

Pumpkin Pie, are you actually planning to have another child on the taxpayers' dime?  That money doesn't fall out of the sky.  I am SMC and am really bothered by your choices.  It's fraud.

post #460 of 515
Quote:
Originally Posted by IceCreamJoy View Post

Pumpkin Pie, are you actually planning to have another child on the taxpayers' dime?  That money doesn't fall out of the sky.  I am SMC and am really bothered by your choices.  It's fraud.


 

I know you're talking to PP but I've yet to read anything that can be construed as fraud unless I missed something.

Mind letting me know what you're talking about?

 

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