I feel like the worst mom ever!

[JamieB]

I keep losing my temper with DS It is so bad. I'm really struggling with not raising my voice to him. I mean, I spend all the time i'm not yelling at him feeling like a horrible mom because of the way I treat him. And he' soooooo young!

I just feel like i'm sick of the struggle. Everything is a fight from the moment he wakes up until he goes to sleep. I know it's not his fault and I shouldn't expect a lot from a 17 month old but shouldn't things be getting easier for him to deal with? I mean. He's had his diaper changed at least 6+ (estimating here) times a day for the last 17 months so when will he stop kicking and screaming and struggling to get away from me? I know kids go through phases but will this end? I feel the same about the dishwasher, garbage can, toilet, electronics, etc. Tomorrow i'm going to buy locks for al those things so we don't have to fight about it anymore but shouldn't he be understanding a little better by now? Or no? And I think he knows he shouldn't do these things because he looks a me right before he does it


I really would like to learn some ways to deal with these situations without raising my voice. The really sad part is that yelling seems to work But I don't ever want to do it. I know this is more about me learning to deal with these situations better and not about DS being "bad" or anything. He really desrves to be treated better.

I hope I posted this in the right place. Thanks for reading.

[BellinghamCrunchie]

Getting locks is a great idea. Anything that prevents those frustrating situations from happening in the first place is a good idea.

He may (or may not; he's still so very young) understand what you want him to do and don't want him to do, but he just doesn't have the impulse control to stop himself. In about 14-18 months he'll have better control. But it doesn't really matter what he should be able to do or not do, compared to his age group: he is who he is and where he is.

I changed DD's diaper standing up from about 6 months until she used the potty. Its just too much of a fight for an active, curious child to lay still. I would stand her in front of the coffee table with a few interesting items on it for her to grab and play with while I changed her. Made things so much easier for both of us.

Getting through those early years was a test of how creative I could be, to try to meet her needs for control, autonomy, exploration, movement... while also keeping her safe and getting done what needed to be done. For me, those were (so far) the hardest years of parenting.

[palestrina]

Yes to locks, moving the garbage cans to the counters, keeping electronics on high shelves, locking the toilet (or completely gating the bathroom)---all these things will help you not to have to say no so much. We did these for dd1, completely altered the house, took a bunch of stuff to the garage, such as extra electronics and books and gated/closed the doors of the rooms that weren't child proofed. for example, we even taped over the power button on the tv so she couldn't turn it off and on (so annoying). Then she had free run of the house and it made this SO much easier. Whenever possible, imo, make it so he can't do it anymore instead of telling him to leave it be.

At 17 mo., he is so young still, so it is really about adapting the environment and your daily routine to shape his behavior. DD1 is now 2.5 and just beginning to not be tempted by the toilet or the trash can. she is just now starting to understand adn apply it when I say "please don't touch the garbage"to you!