when what she says just doesn't make sense.

[Mimi]

I am so frustrated! I am trying to stay calm, but it is sooo hard.
Recently, when I ask my dd for help ("Come on, let's pick up the toys together") she will just drop to the floor & say "No! That's too young" or "No, that's too difficult" or most annoying of all "that is not my life! " & i try to tell her that those are not actually things that make a lot of sense, & that she can say "i don't want to right now,i am doing something else" or "i think it's too boring to pick them up" , quite honestly at this point i ma not fussed about the toys anymore, but more about her annoying way of dealing with it.
ugh, just now i asked her to come into the lounge & she just dropped to the floor & said "YUCK". it is sooooo frustrating. i don't even know where she gets those responses from. (we homeschoool so i know her friends very well.)

tell me it's a phase. PLEASE.

[kittyhead]

how old is she? my son is almost three, and when i ask him to help me he will sometimes close his hands into fists and say "but mama, i dont have any hands!" no advice, just commiseration.

[mysticmomma]

Sounds like she's trying on a new personality. I always talk about how we have to do things we don't want to in order to keep our things nice. If she's not going to take care of her toys, then she can't use them. When I tell DD that any toy I have to pick up goes in the garbage... she generally cooaperates quickly. You can also try the clean up song, or make it a game somehow.

[Mimi]

we have a clean up song & cleanup usually works GREAT for us, it was just an example how she SUDDENLY for no reason at all decides something is "too young for her" , it is driving me completely MAD. at least saying "i have no hands" makes sense, far better than "yuck, that's too young for me, i am too long". i mean, what am i supposed to reply to that.
i tried telling her i would throw out a toy, & she said, now, get this: "fine, throw it away" . which i did. (wellll it's in a cupboard, but she doesn't know!) she's almost three, & this is so so so frustrating.

[mysticmomma]

She's trying on her POWER. I'd want to kick her in the head! It will pass. My bella used to say things like that.

Try to catch her in the act of doing good and praise her.

"I thought you were too long to xyz... I'm so happy to see you being responsible and doing it anyway!"

[Mimi]

i certainly want to turn her upside down.
sometimes "well, if you are THAT long then you are too long to have ice cream,too". but then other times she says "fine, no icecream, i didn't even like icecream anymore". so yeah.
fingers crossed i'll catch her doing something good

[mysticmomma]

I'm so sorry

[NiteNicole]

"yuck, that's too young for me, i am too long".

I just laughed so hard! My three year old often just talks nonsense, too. When she does, I just sort of gloss over it (it's just the right age, you're just long enough) and keep moving. I am pretty sure mine just likes talking and has already started running her mouth before she really knows what she's going to say and it's not about not picking up toys. Really, it seems like the talking is the most important part, not what she says.

I also find that if I direct her in picking up (put this book on the shelf, put this ball in the basket) it goes a lot better. And if I need her to go somewhere, I just take her by the hand and start walking while we talk. Sometimes I can fake her out with, "let's play follow the leader to the living room" or "let's hop all the way down the hall" and that works as well.

[Mimi]

i'm just tired of someone being far too long for helping but just the right size for eating icecream. good to know that i'm not alone, though.
i hope it's a phase, i just want to yell "you are not making sese, lady!!!" at her, grr.

[sweetmama3]

I laughed out loud at this one....
"that is not my life! "

[Mimi]

i can send her over to you if you like,as it seriously is driving me nuts.

[sweetmama3]

Originally Posted by herewearetogether

i can send her over to you if you like,as it seriously is driving me nuts.

Lol, Ive got my own backtalkers, 3 of them, I feel your pain.... but thanks for the offer, Ive always wanted a little girl!

[Mimi]

any of them too long?
this,too,shall pass. this,too,shall pass. this,too,shall pass. ...

[sapphire_chan]

Don't debate with toddlers and don't debate with people who aren't making sense. You'll just end up making threats you don't really want to follow through with (e.g. throwing toy in cupboard instead of away) or threats that have no connection whatsoever to what you want to have done (e.g. not getting ice cream).

That kind of thing is a trap I fall into and I don't even have kids that age. So it's got to be worse when you're dealing with it all the time.

When she says nonsense that basically means "no, I don't want to" maybe just reply "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, that must be tough for you. Let's clean up!" and start the clean-up song.

[Mimi]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

just reply "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, that must be tough for you. Let's clean up!" and start the clean-up song.

at that point she will either walk away or start screaming & crying like mad. she's been pretty emotional recently.


// about the toy, i'm not throwing away a $100 wooden gnome home just because she won't tidy it. i don't see a difference between putting it into a cupboard & throwing it out, as long as SHE doesn't know it's still there.
is there one? i don't think that if i hand it back to her in a couple of weeks she will go "hah. i win. you didn't throw it out after all", but maybe i'm not giving her enough credit here. not sure to be honest.

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by herewearetogether

at that point she will either walk away or start screaming & crying like mad. she's been pretty emotional recently.


// about the toy, i'm not throwing away a $100 wooden gnome home

//No, I wasn't saying you should've actually thrown the toy away, I was saying that entering into the debate with her put you in the position of making a threat you didn't really want to make.


Come to think of it, if cleaning up causes screaming and she also doesn't care if a toy gets thrown away--does she have too many toys?

[Mimi]

no,definitely not. we are very, um..picky when it comes to toys, so she has a few high quality toys, mostly wooden stuff, she has a little wooden kitchen ,some food for it etc. we rotate what we have so that she doesn't get bored & doesn't feel like she can't decide between them . She really likes to "win" arguments (i wouldn't actually call them arguments, but, you know what i mean.) , she will go to great lengths for that.she is a very sweet girl most of the time, & we have great fun, but at least once a week she clicks & has an hour or two where just nothing is right for her, things are too yellow, she is too old, she is too long, things are too soft, or it is simply not her life.

[neverdoingitagain]

3..Ah, 3.
One day, around 4-4.5...maybe even 5, she'll start to make sense again. Until then, remember, it wll pass.

Funny, I was just talking about this with a friend of mine. We were trying to remember what made 3 so hard. The words "certifiably insane" came up

[jeliphish]

No advice lol but I have one who is almost three and she has the same silly things come out of her mouth. Her favorite is, "i'm too little. Wait till I get big like you mommy".

[Mimi]

Originally Posted by neverdoingitagain

Until then, remember, it will pass.

Thank you!!! :

it will,right? you are not just saying that?