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Do I really want to move back to St. Louis? UPDATE post 38

post #1 of 56
Thread Starter 
My husband is having some health issues. I ended up telling the ILs today. They think we need to move back to St. Louis for support. The thought of moving back to STL or Missouri for that matter makes me ill and sad.

Am I being weird about this? We haven't lived in STL for like 15 years but have been back for visits.
post #2 of 56
What makes you sad about it?
post #3 of 56
Thread Starter 
Lets see. Dirty, people smoke everywhere, cigarette butts everywhere, people smoke in restaraunts, trash everywhere, high crime rate, gloomy winters, high humidity, hot summers. I hate high humidity and hot temps.

Plus side very good childrens hospital.

Downside - ILs are very conservative. We are not. ILs are somewhat religous, we are Atheist and they don't know yet.

Its just not me. I want desperately to move back to Colorado. I am happiest in the mountains. I wish I was born there.
post #4 of 56
Once I'm out of here I.am.out.of.here. !! We're planning to move to New England in the next couple of years and there will be no way I'm coming back for more than a week at a time.

That being said, this is my home and there are more benefits than one good hospital...
post #5 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by KatWrangler View Post
Lets see. Dirty, people smoke everywhere, cigarette butts everywhere, people smoke in restaraunts, trash everywhere, high crime rate, gloomy winters, high humidity, hot summers. I hate high humidity and hot temps.

Plus side very good childrens hospital.

Downside - ILs are very conservative. We are not. ILs are somewhat religous, we are Atheist and they don't know yet.

Its just not me. I want desperately to move back to Colorado. I am happiest in the mountains. I wish I was born there.
aww well I think if it is that big of a problem then you should at least check into other options first.
post #6 of 56
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by claddaghmom View Post
aww well I think if it is that big of a problem then you should at least check into other options first.
Well one thing I like about STL is toasted raviolis, Imo's, White Castle, Rich and Charlies etc. : Oh and spumoni ice cream!

We have lived in KS twice, Colorado for 6 years, Southern Cal a year and Montana for 18 months. I like a more progressive area like Colorado.

But as I told my friend tonight, we have to do whats right for my husband. I don't want to move back because the family feels I need the support with the kids. Because I do not.

Thanks for listening. I am just trying to talk this through out loud. I appreciate the feed back.

Okay, more good points on moving back to STL please!

Here is a back story on whats going on with my husband.


http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1099364
post #7 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by KatWrangler View Post
Well one thing I like about STL is toasted raviolis, Imo's, White Castle, Rich and Charlies etc. : Oh and spumoni ice cream!

We have lived in KS twice, Colorado for 6 years, Southern Cal a year and Montana for 18 months. I like a more progressive area like Colorado.

But as I told my friend tonight, we have to do whats right for my husband. I don't want to move back because the family feels I need the support with the kids. Because I do not.

Thanks for listening. I am just trying to talk this through out loud. I appreciate the feed back.

Okay, more good points on moving back to STL please!

Here is a back story on whats going on with my husband.


http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1099364
I read your post I am sorry about what you are going through right now. : It gave me chills thinking about how you admitted him and then found out he had a rope!

So, basically, you are considering moving to STL b/c the ILs want to be around to help? Is this help as in babysitting? Housing? Financial?

Is it just the city itself? Or can you not take the sprawl either? With 370 it just seems like you could go rural and still jump on a highway to get into the city, kwim? There are so many surrounding cities, too. Town and Country, Lake STL, St. Charles county, etc.


One thing I definitely agree with you on is the humidity. OMGsh. I'm a Cali girl and this time of the year is just icky.
post #8 of 56
For what it's worth, My DH and I moved to St. Louis (we even live in, gasp, North County!) 9 years ago after living in a series of very progressive college towns. We have found a large and supportive liberal, progressive community here. We have been involved in AP and LLL groups, local food movements, UU and Ethical societies, and a very active secular homeschooling community. It's all here if you look for it.

Juliette
post #9 of 56
I'm sorry to hear of your husband's health. Mental illness can be really, really scary.

Quote:
Originally Posted by KatWrangler View Post
Okay, more good points on moving back to STL please!
We have excellent hospitals - more than just Children's.
Tons of free activities, parks, museums for families.
Lots of groups to join to stay really busy.
post #10 of 56
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by AfricanQueen99 View Post
I'm sorry to hear of your husband's health. Mental illness can be really, really scary.


We have excellent hospitals - more than just Children's.
Tons of free activities, parks, museums for families.
Lots of groups to join to stay really busy.
I have a child with Special Needs. She sees a Urologist, Rehabilitation Doctor, Neurosurgeon and Orthopedic Surgeon. She is currently being seen at Children's Mercy and KU Med in KC. St. Louis Children's is one of the best in the country. Thats why I mentioned it. We have to have access to excellent Pediatric Specialists.
post #11 of 56
I don't think you should live anywhere that would make you miserable. However, if you do feel like you would benefit from having family around to help out...St. Louis is not the hellhole you seem to think it is. I know plenty of people love living here and there are a lot of positives. I couldn't wait to get back myself and family is a big reason. Everyone has different things they want though. I love that I'm going to have more to do with my kids. I love that we'll have great public schools and great private schools to choose from. I love that we have access to world class health care. I love the Cardinals I love the restaurants. I love REAL Chinese food (my DH is Chinese and loves the little Chinese area along Olive, he thinks the food is pretty darn good...and St. Louis bubble tea!). I freaking LOVE Trader Joe's. I also like Whole Foods. I love the parks, the zoo, the museums. I love the Hill. And for me, St. Louis is a lot more liberal. I've been living in the Bible Belt about to pull my hair out for 7 years.
post #12 of 56
I'm sure you guys will figure out what the right decision is...but here are a couple of my favorite things:

free AWESOME zoo, free AWESOME science center, amazing botanical garden free on Wed and Sat mornings, TONS of amazing parks, strong AP community, tons of booming farmers markets these days that weren't here 15 yrs ago, frozen custard, so many different communities that you can leave one that isn't working for you and find another that is...fairly easily. Lots of places where people don't smoke (though I agree with you that we have too many thoughtless smokers here), spring and fall are BEAUTIFUL! Extremely caring neighbors (if you pick your neighborhood wisely), a huge variety of church communities (though this may not mean much to you guys), excellent children's hospitals, museum of transportation, magic house. And, the arch is kind of cool

Good luck with your difficult journey and decision!
post #13 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by KatWrangler View Post
I have a child with Special Needs. She sees a Urologist, Rehabilitation Doctor, Neurosurgeon and Orthopedic Surgeon. She is currently being seen at Children's Mercy and KU Med in KC. St. Louis Children's is one of the best in the country. Thats why I mentioned it. We have to have access to excellent Pediatric Specialists.
And I mentioned that we have more than Children's because your husband would also receive excellent mental health care here. St. John's and St. Anthony's are both known for their care.
post #14 of 56
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by AfricanQueen99 View Post
And I mentioned that we have more than Children's because your husband would also receive excellent mental health care here. St. John's and St. Anthony's are both known for their care.
My SIL works at St. Anthonys.

My ILs live in Fenton and most of my family live in South County. Thats where I grew up and is most familar with.

I wonder how it works when you are on medicaid, SSI (my DD1), SSDI (hubby), unemployment, food stamps, WIC (all of these have been applied for and are still being processed), how do they transfer services to another state? Or will they?

What a nightmare. My son also will start Kindergarten in a couple of weeks . Here locally he would start August 12th. I would have to get him reregistered.

So this is very complicated and frankly I don't have the energy to think about it. Hmm maybe because I am up ater 3 1/2 hours of sleep again.
post #15 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by KatWrangler View Post
Lets see. Dirty, people smoke everywhere, cigarette butts everywhere, people smoke in restaraunts, trash everywhere, high crime rate, gloomy winters, high humidity, hot summers. I hate high humidity and hot temps.
Like many areas, smoking has been banned in most of the public places in many parts of the city. We go visit my dad about 3-4 times a year, and the filth is also area dependent. Like most big cities, where you're at and what neighborhood you're in has a lot to do with things like dirt, crime, etc. I live in the KC area and I can't imagine Lawrence is a lot different in weather than we are - and STL isn't a lot different than us either. Same humidity, same how summers but for some reason milder winters. Crime rate, yeah I can't argue that one based on stats, but a lot of the suburb areas at least are very nice.
post #16 of 56
Its a bit hard for me to respond, because I absolutely love St. Louis. I love the culture, the diversity, all of the wonderful things we have to offer. Of course there are downsides...personally I cant stand st charles etc areas and even though I live in south county, parts of it disturb me...but so many areas of St. Louis are wonderful. Schools can suck in certain areas, but there are many many other options. Smoking...really? I have not noticed that to be an issue here anymore than anywhere else.

And the crime??? Really, its not that high...the numbers are all skewed and even then, its usually in the same areas that are known for it.

Isnt Kansas pretty hot? The heat and humidity do get to me, but its not for that long..then autumn comes
post #17 of 56
I grew up in some of the "best" places in the country - Jackson, WY and the Bay Area. I went on to live in progressive, liberal, cool cities - Seattle and Austin - and I have to say that I love St. Louis. Sometimes I think folks who grew up here just can't see it. Its wonderful, and it has so much potential.

There are downsides. There are upsides. We live in a great part of the city. I honestly think I would go crazy outside of the city, but thats me. The outer subburbs do seem pretty generic and stunningly conservative to me. But there are some great inner-ring suburbs with a real sense of community....... the grass is always greener I guess, but what St. Louis lacks in progresive/yuppie-ness it makes up for that with REAL community, diversity, history, architecture, parks, and awesome free stuff to do with the kids. The crime is not a big deal, truly.

There are lots of progressive types here, and much more friendliness ime because beggers can't be choosers

eta: the smoking does suck. we haven't been to a bar in ages..... but there is a strong movement to ban smoking, so you could always get involved with that
post #18 of 56
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lizafava View Post
I grew up in some of the "best" places in the country - Jackson, WY and the Bay Area. I went on to live in progressive, liberal, cool cities - Seattle and Austin - and I have to say that I love St. Louis. Sometimes I think folks who grew up here just can't see it. Its wonderful, and it has so much potential.

There are downsides. There are upsides. We live in a great part of the city. I honestly think I would go crazy outside of the city, but thats me. The outer subburbs do seem pretty generic and stunningly conservative to me. But there are some great inner-ring suburbs with a real sense of community....... the grass is always greener I guess, but what St. Louis lacks in progresive/yuppie-ness it makes up for that with REAL community, diversity, history, architecture, parks, and awesome free stuff to do with the kids. The crime is not a big deal, truly.

There are lots of progressive types here, and much more friendliness ime because beggers can't be choosers

eta: the smoking does suck. we haven't been to a bar in ages..... but there is a strong movement to ban smoking, so you could always get involved with that
We aren't city living people. So somewhere in the county (probably south or west because thats what we are familar with and grew up and family is) is where we would go.

Right now we have to get my husband regulated on meds (already started) and into therapy (which we are waiting for an appointment).

Keep the good things coming! I need to hear it!

I know my husband would be thrilled to be near White Castle again. : Oh and to be able to listen to K-She all the time.
post #19 of 56
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by greenmagick View Post
Its a bit hard for me to respond, because I absolutely love St. Louis. I love the culture, the diversity, all of the wonderful things we have to offer. Of course there are downsides...personally I cant stand st charles etc areas and even though I live in south county, parts of it disturb me...but so many areas of St. Louis are wonderful. Schools can suck in certain areas, but there are many many other options. Smoking...really? I have not noticed that to be an issue here anymore than anywhere else.

And the crime??? Really, its not that high...the numbers are all skewed and even then, its usually in the same areas that are known for it.

Isnt Kansas pretty hot? The heat and humidity do get to me, but its not for that long..then autumn comes
Don't be shy! I need to have the good things pointed out to me.

About the heat, yes its awful here. Thats why I want to desperately move back to Colorado. I am not thrilled here in Lawrence either. But it is clean, and fairly progressive.
post #20 of 56
Thread Starter 

Question!

In Colorado we use to be able to buy Hatch Chilies from vendors in the Fall. We would get a bushel of them roasted (they rosted them there on site), bring them home, clean them and freeze. I really would like to do this again. Do they do that anywhere in St. Louis in the Fall? We use to do this when we lived in Denver.
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