Do I really want to move back to St. Louis? UPDATE post 38 - Page 2

[MrsGrizz]

Originally Posted by KatWrangler

We aren't city living people. So somewhere in the county (probably south or west because thats what we are familar with and grew up and family is) is where we would go.

Right now we have to get my husband regulated on meds (already started) and into therapy (which we are waiting for an appointment).

Keep the good things coming! I need to hear it!

I know my husband would be thrilled to be near White Castle again. : Oh and to be able to listen to K-She all the time.

If you're thinking west, look at Ballwin. There are a lot of affordable homes there right now. I believe there is a smoking ban in restaurants in Ballwin plus depending on where in Ballwin you are either in Rockwood or Parkway - both very good school districts. Ballwin has a lot to offer its residents i.e. amenities. Proximity to the highway isn't fabulous, but it's not bad either.

FWIW, we live in Eureka, not Ballwin, so this isn't a biased opinion. Although, I would LIKE to move to Ballwin.

[KatWrangler]

Originally Posted by MrsGrizz

If you're thinking west, look at Ballwin. There are a lot of affordable homes there right now. I believe there is a smoking ban in restaurants in Ballwin plus depending on where in Ballwin you are either in Rockwood or Parkway - both very good school districts. Ballwin has a lot to offer its residents i.e. amenities. Proximity to the highway isn't fabulous, but it's not bad either.

FWIW, we live in Eureka, not Ballwin, so this isn't a biased opinion. Although, I would LIKE to move to Ballwin.

We like the Ballwin area!

My DD1 has an IEP. We will need a good school district that will work with us.

My husband lived in Fenton, but went to Eureka High School.

[MrsGrizz]

Originally Posted by KatWrangler

We like the Ballwin area!

My DD1 has an IEP. We will need a good school district that will work with us.

My husband lived in Fenton, but went to Eureka High School.

I know a couple of people in Rockwood whose children go to different elementary schools (one in ellisville and one in ballwin) that have IEPs. So, I know Rockwood will work with you on that, not sure about Parkway, but I would find it hard to believe that they would not.

I can only speak to Parkway's Early Childhood programs (as we have been taking parent/child interaction classes through Parkway for the past year and have loved them! As I said, we're in Eureka so we're in Rockwood which is "supposedly" one of the best school districts in the state, but I think they could stand to add more to their Early Childhood programs.

(FWIW, I grew up going to a parochial school, but went to a public high school, Pattonville. Pattonville is not one of the school districts people brag about, but I got a great high school education there. I've always been a believer that you get out of the schools what you're willing to put in. In addition to the support you receive at home.)

[NewMama2007]

Originally Posted by KatWrangler

Lets see. Dirty, people smoke everywhere, cigarette butts everywhere, people smoke in restaraunts, trash everywhere, high crime rate, gloomy winters, high humidity, hot summers. I hate high humidity and hot temps.

Plus side very good childrens hospital.

Downside - ILs are very conservative. We are not. ILs are somewhat religous, we are Atheist and they don't know yet.

Its just not me. I want desperately to move back to Colorado. I am happiest in the mountains. I wish I was born there.

Illinois is smoke free! Edwardsville, IL is a pretty progressive town - we've got great bike trails, parks, it's clean...can't do anything about the humidity though

[Dar]

I feel like you're stalking me. I think you moved to Lawrence a year or so after we moved there... and we've been in St. Louis for a year now...

I still miss Lawrence, really. Rain has adjusted and has tons of friends and does lots of cool stuff (college classes, volunteering at the aquarium, homeschool Shakespeare... she's always busy) but although I love my graduate program at Wash U I really prefer Lawrence...

The metro is one of my favorite things about St. Louis - yay for public transportation. Also City Museum is cool, and all the free stuff in Forest Park.

Rain and I are both in cooler places now. I think escaping for as much of the summer as possible is a good move.

[KatWrangler]

Originally Posted by Dar

I feel like you're stalking me. I think you moved to Lawrence a year or so after we moved there... and we've been in St. Louis for a year now...

I still miss Lawrence, really. Rain has adjusted and has tons of friends and does lots of cool stuff (college classes, volunteering at the aquarium, homeschool Shakespeare... she's always busy) but although I love my graduate program at Wash U I really prefer Lawrence...

The metro is one of my favorite things about St. Louis - yay for public transportation. Also City Museum is cool, and all the free stuff in Forest Park.

Rain and I are both in cooler places now. I think escaping for as much of the summer as possible is a good move.

If (and thats a big IF) we move back to STL we will have come full circle.

[KatWrangler]

Originally Posted by NewMama2007

Illinois is smoke free! Edwardsville, IL is a pretty progressive town - we've got great bike trails, parks, it's clean...can't do anything about the humidity though

You know, thats something to keep in mind. But it would also depend on where my husband would be working and what kind of commute.

[sara_m]

Roasted chiles in MO? I almost laughed out loud!

Sorry, not to be negative, but having recently moved from the southwest (Santa Fe) to the midwest (Columbia), I feel your pain. I desperately miss the mountains, the dry air, the healthy environment and the roasting chiles in every parking lot during the autumn. Sigh.

But, like you, we moved back for the support of family, and we hope the move is temporary. Temporarily meaning 4-7 years, though, so it will be quite a journey. The conservative culture, the small mindedness and the humidity kills me. However, the trees, water and the family friendly culture is wonderful.

I lived in STL for three years, and while it's not my dream city, it really has some wonderful offerings. The Zoo/Museum district is incredible. The Botanical Gardens are great. Fair St. Louis, Cardinal games and the Arch Fairgrounds all bring warm memories to mind.

Trust your instinct. I still wonder if we made the right decision, but watching my parents with my kids reminds me that there was a lot of good in our decision to move back for a while.

[AuntNi]

I am so sorry for what your family is going through. It sounds terrifying to me. You really will have to do what's best for your DH.

I have to say I love St. Louis. We moved back here after spending 5 years in KC and 6 years on the east coast. We wanted to be fairly near family (mine live past Rolla.) I love raising a family here because of all the previously-mentioned family attractions. And there is a great AP community here.

I'm a rabid anti-smoker, but I'm seldom bothered by smoke here. So many communities are working on bans right now.

The only real negative I can foresee is the job market. What does your DH do? I had all these companies targeted where I wanted to work if anything happened to my WAHM job. When my employer went bankrupt was the time that they all starting having closures, layoffs, and takeovers.

But obviously, getting your DH on an even keel will come before job stuff, won't it? I'm sending you guys lots of good thoughts as you work on his health and making your decision.

[2cutiekitties]

Wow, I am LOVING this thread. St Louis is on my list of places to check out.

I would love more specifics, like areas to check out. Good schools, coveted neighborhoods, where is the TJ's etc

And is the humidity like Memphis, because that truly is unbearable, or like Atlanta (where I live) because that is really doable.

[KatWrangler]

Still don't know what is going to happen. I would prefer to find a way to stay where we are at till my husband is more stable and can look for work. Then move to the new city with his new job. I hate the idea of moving to STL for short term (but my fear is long term) and then having to move again for my husbands new job. Sigh...

We will have to make some decisions pretty quick here. My ILs are coming in this weekend.

[KatWrangler]

Originally Posted by sara_m

Roasted chiles in MO? I almost laughed out loud!

Sorry, not to be negative, but having recently moved from the southwest (Santa Fe) to the midwest (Columbia), I feel your pain. I desperately miss the mountains, the dry air, the healthy environment and the roasting chiles in every parking lot during the autumn. Sigh.

But, like you, we moved back for the support of family, and we hope the move is temporary. Temporarily meaning 4-7 years, though, so it will be quite a journey. The conservative culture, the small mindedness and the humidity kills me. However, the trees, water and the family friendly culture is wonderful.

I lived in STL for three years, and while it's not my dream city, it really has some wonderful offerings. The Zoo/Museum district is incredible. The Botanical Gardens are great. Fair St. Louis, Cardinal games and the Arch Fairgrounds all bring warm memories to mind.

Trust your instinct. I still wonder if we made the right decision, but watching my parents with my kids reminds me that there was a lot of good in our decision to move back for a while.

Been thinking, can you mail order chiles? I mean not a few, I am talking a bushel bag of them! It would be a pain, but I could roast them myself.

[AuntNi]

Originally Posted by 2cutiekitties

And is the humidity like Memphis, because that truly is unbearable, or like Atlanta (where I live) because that is really doable.

The humidity is fairly awful (usually, not this week. : ) I joke that St. Louis has the worst of all weather: hot, humid summers, freezing cold, ice storm-y winters, tornadoes, and even an earthquake last spring. But all the other stuff makes the weather bearable to me. Sorry I can't comment on the degree of humidity. I was in Atlanta last June, and it felt about the same to me. My friend tells me Charleston, SC is worse than St. Louis, if that helps any.

[Masel]

2cutiekitties -I'm in Webster Groves which is coveted I guess. I'm in the northern part. Good schools. 2 miles from Trader Joe's and Whole Foods.

There are lots of farmer's markets all around. I like the one in Maplewood.

I grew up in Ferguson. I guess I'm a lifelong fan of the inner suburbs. A lot of people dis Ferguson but I like that it is more integrated than it used to be. The school district is okay.

I think I'd like to live in University City and be within walking distance of the Loop. There are some iffy neighbors nearby but some nice ones too.

My sister and a bunch of friends leave near Tower Grove Park in the city. Lovely area. Strong community. Sucky public schools.

[NettleTea]

Personally, I would go for living in the country. So much more freedom and so good for health! So much more scope for the imagination.
St. Louis and living in the country are like two different worlds. Also, it would be less stress...which would probably be good for your husband. But that is my perspective. I am not you to know. Only you can know what is best for you or your family. Not your in-laws or anyone else. If you feel in your heart one thing, but are trying to convince yourself of another then you are going to be disappointed (I say that from experience).

Good luck.

[KatWrangler]

Originally Posted by Grylliade

Personally, I would go for living in the country. So much more freedom and so good for health! So much more scope for the imagination.
St. Louis and living in the country are like two different worlds. Also, it would be less stress...which would probably be good for your husband. But that is my perspective. I am not you to know. Only you can know what is best for you or your family. Not your in-laws or anyone else. If you feel in your heart one thing, but are trying to convince yourself of another then you are going to be disappointed (I say that from experience).

Good luck.

Where ever we live we have to be close good healthcare for my daughter. So a children's hospital close is a necessity. It was a PIA when we lived in Montana. The closest Children's hospital was Primary Children's in SLC. There were no Pediatric specialist in Montana at all (Neurosurgeon, Orthopedic Surgeon, Rehabilitation Doc, Urologist etc.). We were extremely lucky to have great Pediatric Physical Therapist in Bozeman (where we lived). They were a god send to us!

[greenmagick]

If you want county, why not move to the outskirts of St Louis like Jefferson County? You could still be 20-30 minutes from several major hospitals and all the attractions of st louis, but also be in the country if that is what you like. If you are looking for small town feel...look at kirkwood, webster, ucity (where I grew up and where my heart is!), tower grove, ferguson and maplewood.

[KatWrangler]

Well our chances of moving back to STL is about 90% we will move. My ILs are going to look at apartments today and see what renting options are. We can't stay with them because we have a cat and my MIL is allergic to him (they were here this weekend and she swelled up from being around him).

Today, I need to look at what changes would happen to our public assistance. We have SSI being processed for DD1, we already have Food Stamps, WIC, Medicaid for all of us. Short term disability is being processed for my husband too. However, how will that change moving to a new state? What would happen to our benefits if I got a part time job? How much money can we make before its affected? These are questions I need help with and need to find out before we make an official determination of whether we will move.

The other possibility is moving to the KC area. We have looked here in Lawrence for cheaper housing and it just doesn't exist. We drove my some places and they are just plain scarey and dirty.

I will keep you posted.

[zoedeansmom]

Originally Posted by KatWrangler

Well our chances of moving back to STL is about 90% we will move. My ILs are going to look at apartments today and see what renting options are. We can't stay with them because we have a cat and my MIL is allergic to him (they were here this weekend and she swelled up from being around him).

Today, I need to look at what changes would happen to our public assistance. We have SSI being processed for DD1, we already have Food Stamps, WIC, Medicaid for all of us. Short term disability is being processed for my husband too. However, how will that change moving to a new state? What would happen to our benefits if I got a part time job? How much money can we make before its affected? These are questions I need help with and need to find out before we make an official determination of whether we will move.

The other possibility is moving to the KC area. We have looked here in Lawrence for cheaper housing and it just doesn't exist. We drove my some places and they are just plain scarey and dirty.

I will keep you posted.

Good luck with everything. I have been following this thread and find myself thinking of your family fairly often. I have always lived in this area (except for college) and really love most things about it. But I also understand having mixed feelings about the move given the circumstances. All of my family and in-laws live in the area too and it's definitely a mixed bag! Yeah, sometimes they are supportive and the free babysitting is great, but sometimes it seems like we all know way too much about each other's business! And my mom has physical and financial issues we are happy to help with but it's a strain and her emotional issues make being so involved with her quite stressful at times. I'm not trying to make this about me, just saying I think I know how you are feeling. I used to really resent being "stuck" here but now am trying to focus on what we love about the area (lots of free kid-friendly activities, strong AP community, low cost of living, some gorgeous weather and lots of great parks and restaurants) since we will likely be here until my mom is gone some day.
I think, as others mentioned, the key for you and really anyone living here is to find the area that is the best match for you. There is such an overwhelming variety of areas in the city and county, each with their own atmosphere and positives and minuses.
As you continue on your journey, I hope you turn to this tribe again. I know many of us would be happy to answer any questions you may have.
Good luck with it all and keep us posted!

[KatWrangler]

Question about St. Louis County Area Schools?

Since we aren't sure what District we will live in, I thought I would throw this out there. My son is to start kindergarten this year. When do schools start and is kindergarten 1/2 day or full? We are probably looking at Rockwood, Kirkwood, Lindbergh areas, but not for sure yet.