How to deal with interupting

[m9m9m9]

My DD is 5 now and we still have lots of problems with her interupting me when I am talking to another adult or on the phone.
Nothing I have tried really seems to have worked: stopping the conversation to redirect her or ask her to wait until I am done, ignorning her, role playing beforehand, getting angry, sending her to another room - you get the idea!

I have run out of any feasible thing to do for when this occurs so I am looking for some suggestions of anything that could possibly help her to understand that she needs to wait until i am finished speaking.

I understand she wants my attention as well as the attention of the other adult and I do try to give her that when possible but there are times when that just isn't going to work.

thanks!

[oceanbaby]

Well, my oldest is 8yo and we still deal with this, so I'm not sure I have any solutions for you. One thing that works is if I tell them beforehand that I am going to be on the phone and don't want to be interruped for 10 minutes or so. But of course that only works when you are planning on making a phone call, not when you receive one.

[hipumpkins]

the ASL sign for "wait " is wiggling your fingers in front of you. I use a short hand version and just wiggle the fingers of one hand and my kids know, "wait"
This is a way I can remind them but I am not stopping my conversation either.

[oceanbaby]

Originally Posted by hipumpkins

the ASL sign for "wait " is wiggling your fingers in front of you. I use a short hand version and just wiggle the fingers of one hand and my kids know, "wait"
This is a way I can remind them but I am not stopping my conversation either.

We do that too!

[ExuberantDaffodil]

Not that it works consistently, mind you, but I've had some conversations with my 5 year old son about interrupting (he's terrible about it!). I tell him that it is impolite to interrupt and a better way of letting me know he needs to talk to me is to say "excuse me." He has become a PRO at saying "excuse me" but then he just keeps on saying it over and over, which is still interrupting. We're still working on this....

[BBerryBliss]

Originally Posted by ExuberantDaffodil

Not that it works consistently, mind you, but I've had some conversations with my 5 year old son about interrupting (he's terrible about it!). I tell him that it is impolite to interrupt and a better way of letting me know he needs to talk to me is to say "excuse me." He has become a PRO at saying "excuse me" but then he just keeps on saying it over and over, which is still interrupting. We're still working on this....

hehe my son does this too. "excuse me, Mom excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, Mom"

[aran]

Originally Posted by ExuberantDaffodil

Not that it works consistently, mind you, but I've had some conversations with my 5 year old son about interrupting (he's terrible about it!). I tell him that it is impolite to interrupt and a better way of letting me know he needs to talk to me is to say "excuse me." He has become a PRO at saying "excuse me" but then he just keeps on saying it over and over, which is still interrupting. We're still working on this....

Mine too. He says, "excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME!"

He doesn't get it yet. Sometimes I offer to give him hugs while I talk, so he can have some attention of a different sort while I am talking. That works occasionally.

[ktmama]

My almost 4 yo told me yesterday she interrupts because otherwise she'd forget her question! This TOTALLY makes sense to me. Is you lo old enough to write or draw what she wants so she doesn't forget it?

[treemom2]

Interrupting is pretty normal for young children and I try to remember that. We have taught our children to say excuse me then try to wait until their turn. We try not to make them wait too long because children don't have the patience an adult has and it would be somewhat cruel to make them wait too long. My DD, almost 8, can wait much longer than my DS, 4 but still doesn't have the patience an adult has especially when it is something she feels is important to share with us. When I do have to get on an important call (not just gabbing with friends), I tell the children ahead of time that I'm talking to (the bank for an example) and I need them to be as quiet as they can, and not interrupt because it is a very important call. I rarely do this when they are around, but when I have to I try to get them on an activity and warn them in advance. If the call is really important and I just can't get them to quiet (like when someone calls me and they are playing a game or something exciting), then I will go in the bathroom or my room and close the door (yeh, they follow and I ask the person on the phone to hold a moment then explain that I need it quiet and I won't be long).

I will say my DH gets really frustrated with the interrupting. . .he often feels like he can never finish a sentence when the kids are around. . .but it is getting better and explaining to the kids that they just need to wait sometimes is really working. . .key thing is, don't make them wait too long.

[sweetkid]

A good friend of mine taught her dd to use the namaste (hands together as in prayer) gesture when she was @ 3. My dd has used it for months and she's not yet 3, I think kids like it. We don't have her wait very long at all and thank her for being polite.

I'd say start small and praise the begeezus out of each minute.

[One_Girl]

I tell my dd she is interrupting and she needs to wait her turn. She still interrupts sometimes but it is less and less. I have also found that I need to be careful about giving her chances to talk as well. Sometimes there is so much adult conversation happening that she can't get a word in unless she interupts so I find that it is important to work at preventing interupting by making sure dd has time to talk as well as reminding dd not to interupt.

I think if a child is saying excuse me though then they should be acknowledged quickly (before they have to yell excuse me) with either a turn to talk or a "just a second then you can have your talking turn." Saying excuse me is the polite way to interupt and I believe it is good to reinforce manners.

[sapphire_chan]

Come up with a non-irritating way for her to let you know she needs to speak to you, like gently tapping your shoulder a few times. And a way for you to let her know you got the signal, like a

Then let her know that you will give her your attention as soon as you can after she gives you the signal. Then for awhile respond immediately when she signals you and gradually let the time naturally increase. She'll test things by getting your attention for very unimportant things ("dd, what do you need?" "um, um, um um... hi Mommy!!") but gradually she'll accept that you WILL get back to her when you can and won't forget that she had something she wanted to say to you.

[maryjane]

Originally Posted by ExuberantDaffodil

Not that it works consistently, mind you, but I've had some conversations with my 5 year old son about interrupting (he's terrible about it!). I tell him that it is impolite to interrupt and a better way of letting me know he needs to talk to me is to say "excuse me." He has become a PRO at saying "excuse me" but then he just keeps on saying it over and over, which is still interrupting. We're still working on this....

Ha, yes, this is exactly where we're at as well. Interrupting is a huge issue with my 6 yo. I think it's part of his make up, though, b/c he can't wait for ANYTHING. My 3 yo needs one little reminder and he'll go off and entertain himself for another 10 or 20 minutes. So, I don't know how much can be done with a kid who isn't inclined to get patience in the first place, kwim?

[aran]

Originally Posted by One_Girl

I think if a child is saying excuse me though then they should be acknowledged quickly (before they have to yell excuse me) with either a turn to talk or a "just a second then you can have your talking turn." Saying excuse me is the polite way to interupt and I believe it is good to reinforce manners.

nak Mine is one who yells "excuse me" (posted above in large font). I always do acknowledge immediately. Doesn't help.

One of my DSs is just a demanding little thing. It's how he was wired. I do think it will improve when he can jot down his thoughts so he doesn't forget. I know that's an issue for him.

[Carrie Posey]

We're teaching my son 5yo to place a hand on us arm hand leg anywhere when he has something to say, as soon as there is a break in the conversation it's his turn. He really gets this.

[PikkuMyy]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

Come up with a non-irritating way for her to let you know she needs to speak to you, like gently tapping your shoulder a few times. And a way for you to let her know you got the signal, like a

Then let her know that you will give her your attention as soon as you can after she gives you the signal. Then for awhile respond immediately when she signals you and gradually let the time naturally increase. She'll test things by getting your attention for very unimportant things ("dd, what do you need?" "um, um, um um... hi Mommy!!") but gradually she'll accept that you WILL get back to her when you can and won't forget that she had something she wanted to say to you.

Yes, this! The sister of one of my students (I work doing Early Intervention in families' homes) was having a horrible time with interrupting. Whatever she had to say was very important to her and she wasn't getting the "wait" thing when adults were in conversation or on the phone.

I taught her to hold up her pointer finger as a signal to whoever it was she wanted to speak with. Initially, her mom and I would wait a minute until an appropriate break in conversation, acknowledge the signal verbally and let her say what she needed to say. "Amy, I see you have something to say. What is it?" I always reinforced it verbally afterwards, "Thanks for waiting until I was done talking to Mommy. What did you want to show me?" Then once she was doing that consistently, I started to increase the wait time after I acknowledged her, first verbally, and then with a signal of my own.

This made a HUGE difference in the frustration levels of all three of us, and gave her the power to let us know she needed to talk, and have that be reinforced, all in a very mature way.