My sweet little boy YELLS!!! and GETS VERY ANGRY!!! WWYD?

[waldorfknitmama]

So I'm sure many a mom have been there b4, but my little guy (just turned 3) is having a hard time with yelling (he yells when he wants his way) and gets very angry when told no (and what preschooler wouldn't?) and likes to take toys and not share. What can I do to remedy the situation? I'm sure this has been asked b4 so if there is another thread already please direct me there. I feel like I can't go to playgroups anymore because he wants everyone's toys and screams when I tell him not to take from others.

[GradysMom]

After reading the GD posts this morning the 3 yr old stuff seems to be in the stars.
Just wanted to give you a response... my ds is very similar, and I've just posted to three other 3 yr old posts - all of us trying to figure out who the alien child is...

Good luck, I'm searching for ideas too.

[prettypixels]

If my child were yelling and disrupting a playgroup, I'd take her out for a few minutes and talk to her until she were calmer, then talk about how yelling is not ok at the playgroup and if it continues you'll have to leave. Then, if it continues, leave.

With sharing, right now, I have to "force" it; I talk her through it and explain how it works, and she is usually having a huge tantrum during. So yesterday our neighbor boy was playing with her toy and she threw herself to the ground crying, and I just talked to her about how she could have it back in a minute, he was having a turn with the toy, etc... then after a bit I told her to go ask for the toy back... she did, got it back, and came running back all smiles and "Mommy, I did a good share!" So it was a bit traumatic but ended well. Generally I try not to take her toys out with us to play with others; she shares better with other peoples things. Also I think it can help to have things *specifically* to share; like we took organic juice boxes over and she was able to give those to her friends, and share, and enjoy that and not feel possessive.. might be a good way to practice? Just ideas!

[Surfacing]

You are not responsible for his feelings, you are responsible for how you respond to him. If you set down the boundary - "no" - and he is angry, fine. He is entitled to his feelings about it. You can empathize, "You really wanted that, didn't you? You were imaging xyz..." but no is still no.

I'm not sure if your son is this way, but I found over here that when dd1 would get VERY ANGRY AND YELL it was just adding fuel to the fire to try to talk it out, see what's wrong, explain again, etc. Over-focusing on her when she was freaking out gave her a kind of attention and power that just kept us going in an unhelpful circle. Stuck. So after trying to talk and help if I noticed it escalating, I began to say, "I'm sorry you're feeling so upset right now. I would like to play with you when you feel ready again. I'll be in the kitchen." and walk away. Sure enough, soon enough she'd calm down and come over again. This worked better the closer she got to age 4. Just some thoughts. Hang in there, Mama.