Worried about NIP with toddler/ TN law

[vivigirl2008]

My 15 mo. old wants to nurse ALL the time. I've just been staying at home because of this but that's getting old. We have NIPd in public a few times but I was never that comfortable with it and not in a while. I know the law in TN only specifies protecting infants under 12 mo. So what does that mean for me??? How should I handle negative comments, etc?? I really want to take my daughter out w/o stressing about this! Thanks.

[frontierpsych]

It is still legal for you to NIP, just like the states with no BF legislation at all. It just means that, unfortunately you don't have legal protection, making it easier for others to harass you, but you still can't be arrested for it.
If it were me, I'd just say baby is under 12 months. What are they going to do, ID your baby?!

[mysticmomma]

Unless something is expressly ILLEGAL, it is legal. You may have to move, leave, etc if asked. Have you asked around on the LLL groups?

[elanorh]

We were just passing through, but I know I nursed my 2 1/2 year old (tall too) a couple times in public in May ... no one seemed to notice at all, and she's much older than your little one!

I think many confrontations are averted by simply being confident (easier said than done, I know). Remind yourself that you are doing the right thing, that there is nothing wrong with it, and then just nurse. If someone looks at you - give them a very big smile. A confident, happy, big smile. Assume that they don't know you're nursing, and that if they do, they support you.

IME, even if people disagree with you, if you are assuming that they DO agree, often that disarms them quite a bit.

Then hold in your mind your responses:

This isn't illegal.

My baby is hungry, this is better than her screaming and disrupting people.

My Pediatrician is so proud of us for nursing as long as recommended.

My OB is so proud that we're breastfeeding as long as recommended, for the ovarian cancer and breast cancer support it gives us.

If it makes you uncomfortable, you don't have to look.

Would you like me to call [the police, the corporate headquarters, the local newspaper]? I'd be more than willing to clear this up for you.

.... I don't know if you have a friend who can do this, but my husband is more than ready to glower at anyone who harasses us and ask whether THEY have a problem. And I know he'd be a bit more confrontational with them [i.e., "What kind of a sicko connects breastfeeding with SEX? Are you some sort of pervert? Or pedophile?"]. I will add, dh wasn't as strongly this way when we began (he used to do a blanket dance and worry a lot). By the time dd2 was born, he was absolutely committed to breastfeeding and breastfeeding in public as a natural healthy thing to do, though. Do you have a friend or family member who can help with this?

[ssantos]

My dd1 stopped nursing 1 month before she turned 4 and dd2 is about to turn 3 and is still going strong. I will nurse them any time, any place, in front of anybody (discreetly). I have to say that I have never had anyone give me a dirty look or make rude comments. Maybe it's because I just focuss on my child and don't pay much attention to people around me. I have had people comment that they think it is great that I am nursing for so long.

[indie]

I live in TN and nurse a toddler in public whenever I need to. The way the law is written sucks, but its still legal to breastfeed a child over 12 months, just not specifically protected.

Its really true that the trick is to have a lot of self-confidence or to fake it until you develop self-confidence.

[indie]

Also, the only difference in how I would handle the comments is that I wouldn't bring up the law beyond saying that its perfectly legal if someone else brings up the law.

[Sydly]

12 months or younger really bothers me! You should write a letter to your government stating that it's healthier to nurse them to 24 months!

[tubulidentata2]

Originally Posted by ssantos

My dd1 stopped nursing 1 month before she turned 4 and dd2 is about to turn 3 and is still going strong. I will nurse them any time, any place, in front of anybody (discreetly). I have to say that I have never had anyone give me a dirty look or make rude comments. Maybe it's because I just focuss on my child and don't pay much attention to people around me. I have had people comment that they think it is great that I am nursing for so long.

I think attitude, focusing on the child, and being discreet has a lot to do with it. For what it is worth, I have nursed an older toddler in public in Tennessee, where we live (near you) and driven to and from Michigan a few times nursing everywhere in public, and I haven't had problems. A group of us used to get together and nurse babes of all ages in Cootie Browns (in Kingsport) with no problem.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I loath the way the law is written.

I actually saved the law and did the wording in it over taking out the part about 12 months and younger I carried that with me but never needed it but honestly if you print that off and use it the odds are pretty high they will accept it that way without checking it out.

I never made eye contact with others while nursing so that I didnt see anything negitive or positive and it sent the message I didnt want to be bothered.