No you didn't...when; yes I did

[hipumpkins]

My DD has this very annoying habit of completely contradicting any given circumstance.
this is an example but it could go on all day with different examples:
We were in the car I put on my blinker to switch lanes.
DD, "why did you put on your blinker?"
Me: I switched lanes"
DD (Who by the way is 6.5 not 3) No you didn't
Me: I did..I moved over
DD: No you didn't
Me: See that lane out your window. I was in that one then moved over.
DD: You didn't
Me: Stop arguing with me; I am not lying. (I know i know but his makes me crazy)

She tells me I say things that I didn't..tells me I do things I don't; but she wont stop arguing over it. That is what I find so irritating. The truth is right there in front of her and yet she will deny it. What is that?

[sebandg'smama]

Originally Posted by hipumpkins

My DD has this very annoying habit of completely contradicting any given circumstance.
this is an example but it could go on all day with different examples:
We were in the car I put on my blinker to switch lanes.
DD, "why did you put on your blinker?"
Me: I switched lanes"
DD (Who by the way is 6.5 not 3) No you didn't
Me: I did..I moved over
DD: No you didn't
Me: See that lane out your window. I was in that one then moved over.
DD: You didn't
Me: Stop arguing with me; I am not lying. (I know i know but his makes me crazy)

She tells me I say things that I didn't..tells me I do things I don't; but she wont stop arguing over it. That is what I find so irritating. The truth is right there in front of her and yet she will deny it. What is that?

Fun game called "Pushing Mama's buttons!"

[Katwoman]

I have no idea why they do that. My 3 yo does this to her sister. Drives her sister CRAZY! We have a rule, just because 3yo said it doesn't make it true.

I found cutting it off before I want to scream is the only way to deal with it. In your example, when she asked you why you turned your blinker on and you said you changed lanes. When she said no you didn't. Perhaps you could say something along the lines of, "if you want to pretend I didn't, that's okay. But we're not going to debate what we both know is true."

That way it's almost impossible to go down the spiral that drives you crazy.

[RoseRedHoofbeats]

Just ignore it. For example:

"Why did you turn your blinker on?"
"To tell people I was switching lanes."
"But you didn't switch lanes."
"Okay. Hey look, there's a big truck over there!"

~Rose

[Ruthla]

Another way to handle that is "Why do you think that?" Perhaps she didn't notice that you'd changed lanes.

In any case, you need to "not engage" when she gets into that kind of stubborn mood. In the car I'll often turn on the radio and stop talking altogether. At home we'll get involved in some activity, possibly in separate rooms.

[mamalisa]

So the right answer isn't yelling "STOP TELLING ME WHAT I DID OR DIDN'T DO!!!!"?? Dang, I fail. My 3 year old likes to sit at red lights telling me to go because it's green. Sweet mercy, it makes me nuts!! I know I should let it go, heck I spent three hours playing with an imaginary cat today...I should be able to let her think the light is green if she wants. But, sometimes, I. Can't.

[LaLaLaLa]

DD, who is almost five, LOVES to do this to DS, who is three. Every single thing he says, she contradicts. He responds, they fight..... craziness. It's especially bad in the car, where they can't get away from each other.

It's come to the point that DS says something, DD contradicts it, and I immediately respond "are we REALLY going to pick a fight about this?" That sometimes stops it, and sometimes I then need to follow up with "I think we need to stop talking for awhile" as I crank the radio up a few notches.

Perhaps not the most gentle way to deal with things, but I can't STAND the fighting over nothing. I need for it to stop. Immediately.

[GradysMom]

Is she 3 -ish?
DS is in that club... except he asks if my headlights are on, many times insists I turn them on even is I explain I don't want the on for broad daylight.

Oh maybe I just need a sense of humor ... where the heck did it run off too.

[LuxPerpetua]

Originally Posted by RoseRedHoofbeats

Just ignore it. For example:

"Why did you turn your blinker on?"
"To tell people I was switching lanes."
"But you didn't switch lanes."
"Okay. Hey look, there's a big truck over there!"

~Rose

This!

[DevaMajka]

Originally Posted by hipumpkins

We were in the car I put on my blinker to switch lanes.
DD, "why did you put on your blinker?"
Me: I switched lanes"
DD (Who by the way is 6.5 not 3) No you didn't
Me: I did..I moved over
DD: No you didn't

At this point, I usually say "um, ok" or "well, I'm pretty sure it's on, but whatever makes you happy" or something equally silly. I say it with a dry sense of humor type voice, which ds is used to hearing from me.

Whatever it takes to amuse myself, I guess

If I'm in a cruddy mood, I might just say something like "Let's find something else to talk about."

[nd_deadhead]

You could try going the completely silly route:

DD: why did you put on your blinker?
You: I switched lanes
DD: No you didn't
You: Yes I did. I signalled, then I changed lanes, drove into the median, just about hit the cars coming from the other direction, switched lanes again, drove down in the ditch for a while, stopped to pick some flowers I saw there, drove back onto the highway, turned on the car's wings, flew over three cars, and here we are!

DD will eitherlaugh or get mad - if she gets mad, you can say "I guess you'll have to pay more attention" (which you could use the next time she tries to contradict reality - she wasn't paying attention).

[LemonPie]

My son who is also 6 has been very argumentative like this lately too. I usually just change the subject rather than argue.

[stormborn]

I think it's just that age. My 7.5 yo STILL does it sometimes but it's nowhere near as relentless as it was at 6; if that gives you any hope.
It is crazymaking though. Especially when she tells me what MY opinion is and argues it to the end of time.

[abomgardner417]

This used to drive me nuts too. I learned from a conscious discipline class I took that until kids are about 8, they have to have their "story" about things. It makes them feel more in control I guess, and you're just supposed to let them tell the "story" they way they see it - because that's their perception. So when I tell one of my kids that they have water in their glass and they say No, I don't (when clearly it looks, tastes, and smells like water), I just figure that saying it's not water is their way of feeling secure. I usually say something like "Oh, are you sure?" or "You're right, it's not water." Then they try to argue that it is water and I say "Ok, whatever you decide."
But it is annoying - hope your dd gets bored with it soon!

[Kagrish]

Originally Posted by sebandg'smama

Fun game called "Pushing Mama's buttons!"

Yes. I did this when I was younger. I knew I was in the wrong but I wanted to push those darn buttons!

[Snuzzmom]

Originally Posted by RoseRedHoofbeats

Just ignore it. For example:

"Why did you turn your blinker on?"
"To tell people I was switching lanes."
"But you didn't switch lanes."
"Okay. Hey look, there's a big truck over there!"

~Rose

Yep. This is the route we usually take.

[Snuzzmom]

Originally Posted by nd_deadhead

You could try going the completely silly route:

DD: why did you put on your blinker?
You: I switched lanes
DD: No you didn't
You: Yes I did. I signalled, then I changed lanes, drove into the median, just about hit the cars coming from the other direction, switched lanes again, drove down in the ditch for a while, stopped to pick some flowers I saw there, drove back onto the highway, turned on the car's wings, flew over three cars, and here we are!

DD will eitherlaugh or get mad - if she gets mad, you can say "I guess you'll have to pay more attention" (which you could use the next time she tries to contradict reality - she wasn't paying attention).

I like this, too. Top the crazy with EVEN CRAZIER!!! At least you will entertain yourself.

[LynnS6]

"Oh, we have different ideas about that."

[bendingbirch]

This is normal behavior for a six year old, seven year olds do it as well....I believe it is toward eight or nine that children take more responsibility.
I try to approach things a little more sideways instead of directly.
Hope that helps,

[loraxc]

"Oh, we have different ideas about that."

This! Did I get this from you, LynnS? One of my top 10 most valuable parenting phrases!! (I have birthed a trial lawyer.)