any postpartum mamas feeling good?

[queen b]

i haven't popped yet, but i have been reading a lot of threads about postpartum mamas feeling not so good. with my first i was definitely exhausted and emotional. i am worried how i am going to manage being mom to my 3 year old and a new baby. when i read about other peoples stresses, i worry more! does anyone have any good stories about how the adjustment has been easier than expected? i need some encouragement here!

for some reason my computer won't let me reply to posts, so thanks in advance. and congrats to all the mamas and babies that i have not been able to reply to! also, this thread is in no way intended to make anyone feel bad for posting their issues or concerns. i totally feel for you all and relate! i am just looking for some encouragement because i am worried about coping with this big change!

[lexbeach]

We're still waiting for our June (or, perhaps, July) baby, but I will say that when we welcomed our third baby, and our twins were three years old, the transition went incredibly smoothly. Our older kids did fabulously (seriously not a moment of jealousy, aggression, regression, or anything), and I felt so wonderful to have all of my babies on the OUTSIDE. I felt like I had way more energy as a newly postpartum mom than I did as a pregnant mom.

I hope your transition goes just as smoothly!

Lex

[nyakanyasko]

I'd say the transition has been easier than I expected. My 2.75 year old has only had occasional moments where she insists that I am the only one she wants, exactly when I am nursing and can't help her. I'm feeling pretty much back to normal in terms of my stitches and stuff feeling all healed, although I can't yet wear most of my pre-pregnancy pants My baby sleeps reasonably well for a 3 week old, and we are managing to get out of the house at least once a day to do something to keep my toddler entertained. I've had a lot of help - MIL and FIL have been here until today and DH usually gets up in the night or early morning if the baby doesn't want to nurse and needs to be bounced back to sleep - but still, I feel pretty good about how things are going. I hope this helps encourage you! I have been pleasantly surprised by how easy it has been. I had in the back of my mind the whole time the possibility of another cesarean, and the VBAC has definitely helped make things easier!

[boscopup]

I've felt good after both #2 and #3. With #2, I did have to learn to accept that *someone* would have to cry at times, because sometimes you have 2 kids needing something at the same time. #1 was 2.5 years old when #2 was born. It all worked out just fine. That was really the main thing I had to deal with. Otherwise, it was easier than I expected.

Going from 2 to 3 hasn't been too bad. #2 is 2.5 years old, and #1 is about to turn 5. #2 is... a typical 2 year old. He LOVES the baby though. Hasn't really been jealous. Just acting like a 2 year old, but he was doing that before the baby came.

I usually recover from birth fairly quickly, and I definitely recovered much quicker with #2 and #3 than I did after #1. All were natural births with first degree tears, and I only had stitches with #1.

Do take care of yourself postpartum, and don't try to do too much too soon (like housework when you're less than a week postpartum). Your 3 year old will probably enjoy helping with the baby. One thing I let my 2.5 year old help with was changing the snap-front outfit. I'd unsnap and get the baby's arms out, then I'd lift the baby and let DS grab the outfit out from under him. He thought that was really cool. You can also have them get diapers and other things you need.

[Erinz]

My first will be 3 years old in two weeks ----- I was terrified to be left alone with both my 3 year old and the newborn but my husband HAD to go back to work in the second week postpartum. I've had two big challenges this time. First I did to myself and that was trying to do too much too soon. It really lengthened recovery time, so as boscopup said -- really don't do too much too soon. STay off your feet as much as possible, esp because you need to go back together much more soon than you HAD to the first time. Second challenge is dealing with tantrums and general freakishness from my 3 year old, he just isn't the center of the world anymore and he resents it. I've found that really making him a focus and pulling him to me (even with babe in the wrap) to kiss him and stroke him helps a lot. I was putting the new babe down a lot in his bouncer to be one-on-one with DS#1 but now the babe isn't going for that anymore so all that I do pretty much has to be done with him attached to my front and at 3.5 weeks into it, my 3 year old is adjusting and doesn't ask me to put the baby down anymore. I think it really depends on the individual kid, but you really will find your groove with it all. Right now I'm in a good moment because ds#1 is napping in bed and ds#2 is napping in the wrap on my chest. The house is silent, I sat quietly and enjoyed that for a bit and now I'm doing one of my favorite ME indulgences -- checking MDC

Also I found letting my older son stay up a bit later so we can play while my husband lays in bed with the baby has been nice. It's really nice to be able to focus on him. And then when my husband has our older boy I can really focus on the baby. Yesterday was busy and I went through the whole day with... and I'm half serious here but only half.. without looking at my newborn! I breastfed him and wore him all day, but I'm not sure I actually LOOKED at him, kwim? It's trippy how different the experience is from my first.

Being physically able to keep up is important, so do be sure to let your body heal! Everyone kept telling me that but I didn't listen enough.

I hope some realistic encouragment is OK

Had to edit to say, being kind to myself helps too. I still have to remind myself to be compasionate with me but I'm finding it much easier to do the second time.

[rivkah]

When DS was born, DD was 2, and I have to say it was an amazing recovery. I think I was on my feet in about 24 hours, and feeling totally myself in about a week. DD had a few tantrums, but really the transition was fairly easy. We lived in the same city with MIL,who helped a LOT with DD, which made it much better.

Because I am ten years older, I think, it was a bit harder this time, but not too bad. Physically, I was surprised it took me more than a week to get over sore muscles etc.. I also had about two days of weepiness, but I think the hormonal adjustment is to blame. Nipples were sore for about 48 hours also (hadn't been used in a long, long time). DS and DD acted out a little bit, but not too much. In general, I feel like I, new baby, and whole family, are doing great at 1.5 weeks PP!

[midnightmommy]

I feel pretty good! I'm even thinking about sex again. I'm three and half weeks pp. Honestly, my brother came to help the first week along with having DH home. My brother was only helpful sometimes, and sometimes he was more work, so things got easier when he left. LOL! My son is almost six so other than getting him food he's pretty happy to just play by himself. The only issue we've had so far is him staying quiet when DD is sleeping. I also have to remind myself to slow down every now and then. Usually after running load of laundry number 2 downstairs during morning nap. I remember that my abs are still really weak.