Welcome to Tammuz-Jewish Mama's! - Page 2

[smeisnotapirate]

Mags, that SUCKS. That's just not fair

Yay, Ruthla! Glad you're feeling better - hope it keeps improving.

[tikva18]

I'm sorry, Magelet. Sometimes parents think that by running things for us they will help us become better people. It stinks when they hold the wallet that way, though.

[Magelet]

Yay! I'm glad your feeling better Ruthla.

Thank you ladies. I was able to work out with my mom that I would work Friday morning, and Monday or Tuesday. She felt that because we haven't been working at a paying job, we don't deserve a vacation (implied, not said). I explained that just because we haven't found work, we've been looking for it, and doing some temporary work, and I've been volunteering at a place that provides food in trade for work. We've been doing our best, and if our best might not be as good as she feels she can do, well, we're doing what we can. She clearly was not happy to "give" us a (two day, including the driving) vacation (which wouldn't cost us much, we'd stay with relatives), but she did. I think she feels we aren't desperate enough to get jobs. (Umm no, its just that there aren't many people hiring now, between the economy, and the fact that folks have hired their summer people, and being in a college town, they have less customers during the summer).

I'm hoping my aunt lets us come stay with her in the mountains, it would be relaxing and nice. I feel a bit conflicted, because I do want to go to services this week, but barely at all, because I really want to go to the mountains, and give J a good party of sorts for the 4th like he's used to. Thank you for your chesed.

[Ruthla]

I'm glad your mom decided to treat you like an adult!

Go ahead and enjoy the mountains. Synagogue is likely to be relatively empty this week anyway- many people will also be away for the holiday weekend.

[smeisnotapirate]

Yeah, we're expecting about 10-15 people (we usually get 60-70) this weekend. The rabbi and I always take bets.

Enjoy the mountains, light candles outside... oooh, I'm jealous now!

Good Shabbos, ladies.

[Faliciagayle]

We had a GREAT weekend. We started camping on Thursday and came hoem Sunday. Other than a snafu involving fireworks and a screaming, non-sleeping, hysterical toddler, the trip was great.

We cooked our whole shabbat meal on the fire wrapped in foil (corn on the cob and salmon + lemon, red onion, & grape tomatoes) and had some salads I prepared at home plus challah. It was lovely. We made enough fish to have it as sandwiches on our canoe ride Saturday. DD fell asleep in the canoe. Bad mommy forgot the sunscreen : so we're all burned.

The raccoons have good taste because they made off with a loaf and a half of challah - which was supposed to be french toast on Sunday. They also managed to take our sandwich bread on Saturday night.

We just found out that DD will be old enough for an "Abba, Eema, and Me" program at the Shul come September. I don't actually know what it is, but I'm excited to get her in something organized.

[smeisnotapirate]

Faliciagayle, glad you had a good weekend! How are you feeling?

It's been a tough month for me, but things are slowly getting better. This weekend was good.

[Faliciagayle]

Pretty good. Not sick anymore, B"H. Tired and not always the momma I want to be, nor the wife for that matter, but doing well. Getting to the "I look a bit fat" stage, not obviously pg.

Still living in limbo land regarding jobs and the soon to be future.

[Chavelamomela]

This weekend was nice.

Since I lost my job, we had to scrap plans for a "fancy" summer vacation, but DH and I decided that since we weren't sending DS to camp, and no official vacation that we could spring for a bungalow rental for a month. So we found a real "metziah" (a "find") that is about 40 minutes from home, a nice community that has a lot of Jews, but not like the catskills (a big mix, a few shomer shabbas families). They have a nice lake, with*a beach and playground, social activities, etc, and it's so nice and shady & cool!

The bungalow is great. We rented 50 feet from friends of ours, so we can do shabbas meals, etc with them with ease, and with DH on limited use of crutches, he can hobble the few steps to their place. We were lucky to get that unit rather than one farther away from friends, because at 7 months pg, I can't push him safely in a wheelchair either (and his wrist is still shot from the accident, so he can't either). The cabin is a spacious, airy 1-bedroom, plus a large patio with furniture. We have A/C (not that we needed it), ceiling fans, wireless internet, and basic cable (these are important for DH since he's home-bound).

The only downside was I had to spend friday kashering the kitchen (a non-self-cleaning oven), which was intense for me, but now should be smooth-sailing for the rest of the month.

We enjoyed it so much we stayed until Monday night, and as long as DH can't go to work, we'll go for an extended weekend every weekend.

Also, DH surprised me today with a nice surprise! Cousins of ours wanted to get DH something to help with his accident/recovery, and he apparently told them "What I would appreciate more than something for me is to get Chavi a pregnancy massage - she could really use it!" So lo and behold, a gift certificate for an hour-long pg massage showed up in my mail today: I am really appreciative, and now only need to figure out when to schedule it so I can enjoy it!

DH is still pretty limited and recovering slowly from the accident. turns out he has a hairline fracture in a knee-bone, torn cartilege, torn ligament, sprained ankles, wrists, and an assortment of injuries that he will IY"H be able to recover from. He has more MRI's and X-rays today and tomorrow, so we may discover further injuries (and he may need some small surgeries), but we are sooo grateful that despite these assortment of "minor" injuries, nothing major happened. His mobility is still pretty limited (can walk maybe 50 feet on crutches, cant put weight on his rt leg), but overall his pain level has gone down a lot (taking fewer pain meds). So I am optimistic. We just hope he is more recovered by the time this baby comes!

[Magelet]

Hey ladies. I'm glad your husband is feeling a little bit better, Chavela.

I definitely feel you about the limbo land of future jobs and other near future stuff. Being in limbo land can be stressful.

I had a pretty good weekend, some work, some rest (we had a great shabbat/4th, with hiking (ok, well, barely into the hike, we stopped and spent an hour or two watching the brush/fire hazard goats and sheep. gotta love that when we're driving along and I shout "SHEEP", dp slams on the breaks, and says "where? where?", just as excited , and picked a few almost but not quite ripe blackberries, still super yummy though), good dinner, and some local fireworks.). For some reason though, I'm absolutely exhausted. You know that point when you are acting high, because of exhaustion? I reached it at about 10 pm last night. I was utterly hysterical, (not as in amusing, as in, having hysterics, cracking myself up, and such) and went to bed. Today, I'm still exhausted, and not thinking straight. (I think maybe because the work was super emotional and thus exhausting. going through my mom's old papers culling what she could throw out from what she wanted to keep, including email correspondence printed out (as well as boring things like receipts, etc), during the period before and after she got sober, and split with my dad, and that tumultuous period. It gave me a lot of appreciation and realization about what SHE went through (not just the what I went through that I experienced as a child at the time). Exhausting though.

I'm excited I have a meeting with the Rabbi this week though. I met him two weeks ago at the Oneg Shabbat, briefly, and really liked him. I don't actually know what we're meeting about lol, but everyone (including him) said to schedule a meeting with him, and I assume being new to the community, jewish study, conversion study, getting to know him/me? lol, we'll see. I'm quite certain we'll have plenty to talk about, since I enjoyed talking to him for a while at the Oneg. We might go to a Young Adults Kabbalat Shabbat this week (its once a month), but I'm too tired to think about that right now. Going to rest before making dinner.

Take care.

[Faliciagayle]

Help

New York mamas, will you please see my thread in FYT?

thanks very much.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...8#post14056738

[Magelet]

'Few. I didn't really really think I was pregnant, but that BFN was SO relieving. I was rather worrying, because I'd never ever had sore boobs, much less on menstruation and ovulation like this month, and then was nauseous this afternoon (though probably just stress), and was freaking out. "Wait, was my last period really light? maybe it was implantation bleeding or ovulation bleeding". I really really want kids, and a part of me really wants them now, but most of me absolutely does not want them yet. I want to get married, and be stable. Supporting our selves. (though honestly, I know how the discussion with my mom would go. And that was totally freaking me out too. "When are you having the abortion? How dare you not be responsible about contraception!" "Ummm I'm not.., and I did." "Yes, you are having an abortion, your too young." "No, I'm not, its my choice, and I don't believe in abortion, though I do believe women should be allowed to make the choice for themselves." *she hangs up and disowns me practically, until she meets her grandkid and falls for him/her* Even once we get married, I'm quite sure she will expect us to wait to have kids until I'm like 30! She's always making comments about my cousins being really too young to be parents, and they're 27 and 28! No clue what kind of shit will hit the fan when we hit kid number 3, which I'm pretty sure will happen (I want more than two. J says no more than two, but that's now..... lol. we'll see). One of my mother's most dearly held beliefs, the stable factor in her life, is that no smart, educated person would ever be so stupid and evil as to have more than two biological children. She even decided to start doing some sort of two kids a couple advocacy?

I admit, I'm kind of a touch of sad too though.

Completely off in lala land still. J just asked me a question and I was like uhhhh yeah, maybe?, to which he replied "You are not driving tonight." Sounds about right. This afternoon, I started freaking out, and singing hebrew songs in progressively higher pitch, louder and louder, walking in circles around the kitchen I volunteer in. (I'm a bit embarrassed about it now). Just kind of still processing you know? And annoyed about still having sore boobs. I am not resigned to 5 days of sore breasts before my period and at ovulation. That is TOO many days a month when driving over a bump on the freeway is excruciating.

[Ruthla]

Magelet- stress can excaborate PMS symptoms, and it sounds like you've got a lot of stress in your life right now. There are also things that can be done- supplements and dietary changes- to minimize the discomfort. I'd suggest starting a thread about it in Health and Healing- you'll probably get a lot of good, practical advice.

I'm pretty wiped out today- I think from yesterday's fast. I felt OK during the fast, but today I'm just wiped. I think I'm going to talk to the Rabbi about this, see if I should be doing the "minor fasts" in the future. I know I didn't get sick enough to warrant a heter (leniency) for Tisha b'Av or Yom Kippur.

[Nickarolaberry]

Hi all,

Slow month, huh?

Just checking in to say hello. We are preparing to move, so I have been/will be somewhat out of touch. We are heading down to the Sunshine State, due to a new job ( but it will be lots more challenging, yiddishkeit wise.

Anyway, hope everyone is having a nice summer. Camp Mommy is going quite nicely and the kids are happy. Very chilled.

[Faliciagayle]

Nic, good luck with your move. You mentioned in the Dingos about Mitzvah Meat - is this in/near NYC?



We are moving to New York!

We've got 2-3 weeks to pack, sell what we can't pack, and move. Oh, and we also need to find a place to live. I think we're going to drive through Canada just for the adventure, and so we can see Niagara falls on our way to Westchester.

[Ruthla]

Welcome back Nic!

[alexsam]

Off topic and not much time to write... But do you all know about the PJ Library? Its not available everywhere, but they send free Jewish books to Jewish kids. About the holidays, Shabbat, fun stories, general ideas... They tailor it by age, so they will send different books to each kid. Sometimes, they mix it up too and last month we got a really amazing kids cookbook. At Chanukkah, we got a really awesome CD. The baby gets board books, other stories... Anyway, they are so great! And the quality is terrific. Some books are really urban and edgy and cool, some more traditional... And its so great to get books about holidays other than Chanukkah .

http://www.pjlibrary.org/

[Magelet]

I'd heard about it, but don't have kids yet.

Anyways. I'm rather bummed. I was planning on going to shabbat dinner at the house of a nice woman from the shul I've started attending, but I'm sick. again! I had the exact same symptoms back in may, and it dragged on for weeks then. I'm just hoping this one is a quickie, and I'm better fast. I'm really sad about missing dinner, though she invited me back in two weeks. but I was so looking forward to it. And I wanted to as the rabbi some questions tomarrow about a book he recomended, and about tisha b'av. ah well, I'm just hoping I get better fast. I feel like crap!

perhaps you ladies could answer my question about tisha b'av, and I'll email him about the other. so I'm a little confused about tisha b'av. (I've never observed it before, heck hadn't heard of it until a few months ago, so since I have no experience with it, I found the section about finding meaning in it a bit difficult to really help, like the kid who doesn't know enough to know what to ask on passover. but I've read a lot in various places about the meaning behind it (gotta love aish for that... chabad.org is good too.) but I'm missing something. So I get the whole fasting, the sparce meal before it starts, sitting on the floor, being less comfortable, mourning practices thing, and I think I have a sense of how it can be meaningful. What I still am unclear on is: is it a "home" holiday, a "shul" holiday, or a "go about your normal business but mourn at the same time" holiday. Don't know why, but its like every website isn't quite for such beginners, because they tell you the fast laws, but miss that step. The book was describing some shul observance, but is that common? (what about in conservative shuls?) Just confused. thank you so much!

[Ruthla]

There are no restrictions with "work" such as turning lights on and off, using the computer, driving, etc. But I find it hard to do much "focused work" while fasting, I'm often too faint to drive safely, etc. I generally spend the day at home. The morning is often spent on the computer learning about Tisha B'Av, and by the afternoon I'm usually napping or watching TV with the kids. One year, in college, I spent Tisha B'Av babysitting.

There is davening at shul, but I don't go. Walking in the heat is too much for me while fasting, I don't like driving to shul because it's got a weird setup (I find it easier to walk, even when it's not Shabbos or Yom Tov- such as for Purim or Lag B'Omer or the Chanukah kids' party, etc.) Plus, I prefer fasting at home- this way I can quickly and discretely break the fast if I suddenly feel very ill.

So I have no clue if most people spend the day in shul or not, and my experience with Conservative Shuls is limited to hanging out with friends in the ladies' room during Shabbat morning services. (I went to a Conservative shul from about age 11 to 18.)

[Ruthla]

New thread.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1114309