Dealing with angry 2 1/2 yr old

[mommyrachael]

Seems like this is a common thing, dealing with behavioral issues with 2-3 yr olds...any help is greatly appreciated.
Lately my 2.5 yr old has been acting really angry, yelling at people and hitting. She's always been a high-need, high-strung, high-intensity, whatever you want to call it, and a really strong reactor...cries at the drop of a hat.
The hitting is the biggest thing...playmates if she doesn't get her way, dh and I if she doesn't like what we've said, set a limit, etc. It just started to be a lot more intense in the last week. No new changes in our lives recently...I'm 29 wks pregnant but nothing has changed with that at all, she's known and seemed to somewhat understand for quite a while....she's still nursing with no changes recently there.
Sigh.
And I've been losing my temper which I'm sure only makes things worse...she's losing control and then I do too, so I'm sure she really feels out of control then.
We've been trying to be very consistent with a time out if she hits. Doesn't seem to be making a big difference although maybe it just hasn't been long enough.
I'm just so tired of dealing with this already. We went from relatively peaceful days to feeling like it's a time bomb...when is she going to explode and hit someone? I want to run away to a job or something and make my husband stay home all day...I usually love staying at home but lately it feels like a prison. I love my daughter very, very much but I have to admit I haven't been liking her a lot lately. That sounds TERRIBLE, but I just feel like I've had it up to HERE, you know??

Anyways. Any tips for dealing with this and also keeping my temper. I know yelling at her sure isn't going to make it better.

thanks....

[mom2grrls]

At this age those sorts of things are normal. Being hungry or tired can magnify them dramatically though so make sure you're on as good of an eating/sleeping pattern as you can get. Does she get a lot of choices of her own? She may feel frustrated if she's feeling "ruled" all the time. Try to get outside to do lots of physical things to make sure she's getting some energy out or do some active things inside like dancing or jumping on the floor. As for hitting, it's a phase that will pass once she gets some better communication skills about her feelings. Try to intervene on situations before it gets to hitting although it can be hard. I wouldn't bother with time outs for it b/c it's "normal" behavior for a 2 y/o and time outs won't make it go away. You can take her hands and show her how to be gentle, give her words for her feelings or let her punch a pillow.

[Ruthla]

The best thing you can do is NOT take any of it personally. You can avoid getting into that negative spiral of the two of you feeding off one another's emotions if you can keep a bit of emotional distance from her when she gets mad.

If she wants to have a tantrum, let her ride it out. Basically, allow her to express her anger in any way that doesn't involve violence. I'd also actively teach her non-violent ways to express anger. Encourage her to punch a pillow or throw soft toys around when she's mad.

Kids often act up more when they're teething (does she have all her molars yet?) or slightly under the weather. She may have a slight cold or be fighting something off.