Adopt an animal if your child isn't too happy about it?

[quelindo]

Henry is almost four and I'm afraid he may have inherited his disinterest in animals from his dad. He seems particularly not into dogs -- when they're in his face he gets very freaked out. He's not around dogs very much and I'm wondering if that's the issue, or if he really does not like them.

We had a cat briefly last winter -- he said that he liked cats and we adopted one, but when the cat started to mess with some of Henry's toys it seemed like Henry was getting more and more aggressive with the cat. He wasn't hitting or anything, but he started shouting, "NO!" and blowing in its face really hard (I had been gently saying "no" and GENTLY blowing in its face to redirect it). I just didn't like seeing Henry react this way, so we returned the cat (and it got adopted right away, so while I felt awful returning it I'm sure it was fine -- please, no flames).

Now that I think about it, though, Henry was going through a rough time at that point -- I'd been thinking about joining a health club and was working on leaving him in the day care, which went really horribly, so I gave up after a bit. But I think maybe it was a bad time. I don't know. I feel pretty guilty about the whole thing and am wishing we'd just kept the cat.

So anyway, I still really would like a pet. Should I wait until Henry's older? Should I just get a cat or dog (screening for gentleness) and stick with it this time? Or is Henry just really sensitive and this won't work at all?

Sigh.

[SleeplessMommy]

My kid is 6 now and really likes both dogs and cats. At 4, he was afraid of many dogs and did not understand how to interact with cats. I think you will have a much better chance of success if you wait a few years - and visit with some friendly animals every so often.

[lalaland42]

Originally Posted by SleeplessMommy

My kid is 6 now and really likes both dogs and cats. At 4, he was afraid of many dogs and did not understand how to interact with cats. I think you will have a much better chance of success if you wait a few years - and visit with some friendly animals every so often.

I agree with SleeplessMommy. My DD is 4 and at 2 she was terrified of dogs and cats. Now she can tolerate a couple of dogs as long as they stay away from her. She downright likes cats. In a couple of years I can see her loving both dogs and cats. I'd wait a bit and try and introduce Henry to friendly animals when possible.

[onlyzombiecat]

I agree with waiting until he is older- at least 6 years- before getting a cat or dog.


Are cats and dogs the only pets you are considering?
There are other pets that wouldn't get in his face or mess with his toys.
If you do not want to wait to have a pet and aren't stuck on furry maybe an aquarium would be a good addition.

[tallulahma]

well, im an adult that dislikes dogs....always have. we always had them growing up & i have always disliked them. I hate the licking, barking, begging, hair everywhere, etc.

dh LOVES dogs- we have two.... its a pretty miserable existence living in a house with animals when you are not fond of them.

so, my point in sharing is that maybe your child really is just not fond of pets... both my kids love dogs and cats- it was pretty instantaneous.

so if my kid seemed wary, i would back off and wait until they seemed more comfortable.

[angie7]

My kids have grown up with dogs and cats in their face, messing with their toys and are HUGE animal lovers. I would think about something else besides a dog or a cat. Perhaps a rabbit, guinea pig, mouse, rat? Something small, sweet and that won't mess with his toys.

I wouldn't wait until he was older, I think the younger a child is exposed to their environment, the easier it will be fore them to adjust to it. We have a 9 wk old kitten right now that it into everything, my girls love it! They think it's cute for him to play with their toys but I also believe it is b/c they have been exposed to many different kinds of animals since birth.

[mistymama]

One of the main reasons I wanted to go ahead and get a dog (besides the fact that I missed having one!!) was that ds was scared of them. I grew up with animals and felt like I was doing ds a disservice by not having animals around him, and him growing up scared of dogs. Plus it was like dogs could sense his fear and they would almost always bark at him and make him cry.

So we got a puppy - it was little bitty and cute, he was able to watch it grow into a dog. It's worked wonders, he's no longer afraid of dogs and chills with all kinds of dogs now.

Ds had just turned 6 when we got the puppy - but I wouldn't have waited much longer. His "fear" of dogs was starting to set in, and I'm not sure how well it would have gone if we had waited another year or two.

[Breathless Wonder]

Originally Posted by angie7

Perhaps a rabbit, guinea pig, mouse, rat? Something small, sweet and that won't mess with his toys.

Small animals need more care than most people give them, and are usually NOT recommended for homes with children under 5. My particular experience is with hamsters, guinea pigs, and rabbits.

Here are some links:
http://www.cavyspirit.com/
http://www.guineapigcages.com/
http://www.guinealynx.info/

http://www.rabbit.org/

http://www.rabbitadoption.org/hamste...%20of%20rescue
http://www.geocities.com/calhamassoc/Newsletter.html
http://www.rabbitadoption.org/hamstercare.html

[greenmagick]

I think small pets are great for young children as long as the parents arent expecting the child to take care of them or handle them alone etc. My children love my rats and the rats are great with the kids.

[crazycandigirl]

Originally Posted by greenmagick

My children love my rats and the rats are great with the kids.

I LOVE my rats

We have 2 of them, one hairless and one hooded, and they are the sweetest little pets. The can still bite- but they bite much less than hamsters and the like. They are very smart, love to cuddle, are relatively easy to care for, and are fun to bring down to a childs level to watch and have supervised play with. They can even be trained to play fetch, love to eat scraps of fruits and veggies, and I just think they are great. They live for 3-5 years. My girls love them.

[Kirsten]

We adopt from a no-kill animal shelter 20 minutes from our house. They won't adopt dogs of any age or kittens younger than one to families with kids younger than five - which was annoying when we had kids younger than that but were thinking of a dog. But we waited, and I'm glad we did.

Honestly, I get a little freaked out when dogs I don't know well are in my face too. So I don't think that means much of anything.

What was the cat getting into as far as your son's toys? We've had four cats over the years we've had kids, and none of them have ever touched any of our kids' toys. Was it a kitten? I'd start with a two year old cat so you skip the crazier kitten/young cat phases. We adopted a pair of ten year old cats the first time, and after they passed away we adopted four month old kittens. They weren't mellow (they had a habit of attacking feet under the covers - which the kids didn't like and neither did I) til they were two. GREAT cats! Wonderful. But easier with kids after age two.

I think being tall enough to have your face higher than jumpable level - and too big to easily knock over - is the time I'd consider a puppy. Adult dog you could do with a younger kid - if it was mellow and trained. I wouldn't get a herding or aggressive type.

I love cats in pairs - so they have company when you aren't around. I think they get into less trouble when they have each other to play with too.

I think expecting a two or three year old to handle the big change of a new pet in the house without any "issues" to get over is fairly unlikely. It is an adjustment. But if you think he will be gentle, and you can supervise the transition well, I'd try with an adult cat or two now - ane maybe a dog when he is older.

[lilyka]

Originally Posted by Breathless Wonder

Small animals need more care than most people give them, and are usually NOT recommended for homes with children under 5. My particular experience is with hamsters, guinea pigs, and rabbits.

]

thank you for saying that. my kids talked me into guinea pigs and they are more gigh maintence than my dog. but perhaps something that doesn't need a lot of interaction or maintenence....do some reasearch. see what would fit you best. I have had hamsters and guinea pigs. the pigs need floor time and cuddle time and their cage has to be cleaned daily. they are a lot of work. hamsters were a dissaster! (they are cleaver little things). maybe some gold fish.....snales....ghost shrimp are cool. hermit crabs.

[quelindo]

Thanks for sharing your opinions/experiences everyone. We ended up getting a cat about a month or so ago. The humane society said she was four months old, but she seems less kitten-like than that. She's very mellow and sweet, but still a little playful. DS hasn't been aggressive toward her, but he does like to scare her, and was chasing her for a while. We've been working on it and I think he's better now.

So it's been working out well, DS doesn't seem threatened or jealous, and the cat herself is very sweet and not destructive. DH isn't as thrilled though, lol.

[rubidoux]

I'm happy the cat's working out with your ds. Yay!