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6 mo. died after CIO episode - Page 6

post #101 of 108
Ugh. That is sooooo sick! That was not SIDS that baby died of. He cried himself to death! Those people should not have been allowed to adopt and should have had other kids taken away. THat is plain neglect mixed with abuse. STUPID!!!

Ginger
post #102 of 108
Miekesmummy got what I meant. CIO is not my idea of good parenting, but it is widely accepted and not considered abuse. SIDS has *nothing* to do with CIO. It is ludicrous to decide that a baby cried itself to death based on 2 sentences of a story that you heard from a friend that was briefly alluded to in a magazine article she read about something else. If more people were able to think critically and would stop jumping to emotional conclusions with no factual basis whatsoever, maybe co-sleeping, bf'ing, cloth diapering and gd would be more mainstream. And if we are at all interested in having those things become mainstream, we had better not jump to emotional conclusions with no factual basis ourselves or we will deserve to be called flakes.

Leonor: You said "Are there right ways and wrong ways to treat children or not? If parents spank their children, do you judge or not? Isn't there any situation you'd consider neglect or aabuse and that the parents should have their children taken away?" @@ Of course there are. I don't judge spankers, though, they are IMO misled but doing what they know. And just because people are terrible/neglectful/abusive parents doesn't mean they are monsters or evil, but their children should be protected from them of course. It's not a judgement, it's simply the way it is.

"I find it hard to believe you don't juge any parent in the world. "
Believe what you want. If there is one thing that I have learned as a parent it is that you don't know what it is like in another's shoes until you've been there. There are so many things I thought I wouldn't do or situations I wouldn't get into that have happened now that I have a hard time judging anyone.
post #103 of 108
Scoutycat, you say you NEVER judge anyone unless you have been in thier shoes. Okay. I saw an episode of Montel the other day. 6 Kids were finally taken away from thier foster parents after 4 years of abuse. They were often put in two wire baskets wired shut and thrown in the bottom of the pool until they were just about to die. They were also starved most of the time.When the WERE fed they had to go into the kitchen one by one on thier knees and were spoon fed food, usually oatmeal, straight from the pan off the stove. Steaming hot. If they cried or complaned, they were not fed a drop again for days. How about those shoes?

Ginger

Edited to add: two were twins that were ther since they were tiny babies. Imagine having to get used to a normal life and the set of problems they came with.
post #104 of 108
Quote from scoutycat:

'If more people were able to think critically and would stop jumping to emotional conclusions with no factual basis whatsoever, maybe co-sleeping, bf'ing, cloth diapering and gd would be more mainstream. And if we are at all interested in having those things become mainstream, we had better not jump to emotional conclusions with no factual basis ourselves or we will deserve to be called flakes.'

ITA. People here who are finger pointing and sitting up on their moral thrones are not doing the AP cause any favours.

I don't tell people what I do is attachement parenting, people cringe when they hear the term. I'm no better parent than anyone else. Everyone thinks they do what is best for their child, otherwise we wouldn't do it.
post #105 of 108
I admit that we are all emotional about this story. Who wouldnt be? It hurts to think of a baby going through that. And I know I did respond emotionally. It is kind of hard not to wonder about someone who lets a baby cry so long though. Certainly he was choking and hiccuping and the whole works. I know also that some people think that AP'ers are judgemental nuts. I live in a town where most people do not AP in most ways. I try to talk to other people about options to bottlefeeding etc, but it is hard when thier defenses are already up. Or when they have simply decided they do not want to do and listen with a closed mind. Some AP'ers will judge me for using disposable diapers on my children. I was using cloth then went to disposables after ds2 was born. I suppose some would say that I have failed at AP'ing. Someone actually told me that awhile back when I was pg with #3 and having a hard time coping with ms, nursing and fatigue. She even told me to give up and try again with the next one.

But to say you never make judgements is wrong. Even if we think about it afterward, we make judgements all the time about things based on what we know, our own opinions and experiences and many other things. We may judge initially then think it through later and may have an aha moment or what have you. I still stand by my beleif that it was not SIDS that baby died of though.

Ginger
post #106 of 108
Quote:
Originally posted by Gidget
Okay. I saw an episode of Montel the other day. 6 Kids were finally taken away from thier foster parents after 4 years of abuse.
Yikes! Aren't foster parents usually chosen by social services? It's not the first time I hear horror stories about foster families.
post #107 of 108
Quote:
Originally posted by Gidget
Scoutycat, you say you NEVER judge anyone unless you have been in thier shoes.
Actually, I said I have a hard time judging anyone. It's pretty rare that I have enough information and insight into a situation that I feel I have a basis to judge anyone, even in horrific situations like the one you saw described on Montel. I can't even begin to fathom what would cause people to treat anyone that way, let alone their own kids, but without more information I don't know that they are terrible malicious evil people. Sick, certainly. Evil? Hard to say. Certainly they shouldn't be allowed to have more kids, and should be tried for their actions. I guess it depends how you define 'judging'
post #108 of 108
I think judgindg a person or situation goes both ways. If we both saw a woman in a parking lot spank a toddler then yank him or her to the car by the arm I might think that she is an abusive mom who needs to be reported and you may think that she is having a really bad day and could use some help. Either one of us would be right. I cannot imagine why those people did such awful things to thier foster children. I am pretty sure it is not for lack of coping skills(they were trained to do this I am sure) and the system is also to blame for letting it go on. I am certain it was not a bad day, week or even life. I don't know what it was, but they have serious issues and I know most people, especaily trained foster parents, know that kind of abuse affects a person for the rest of thier life.

I did not read the article about the baby that cried all night before dying, but I wonder if that lady meant to say" Look I did that and this happened, I don't want it to happen to someone else. We may never know why she told the interviewer what happened. I do know though that I find it hard to see how someone could let a baby cry so long and hard.Most instinctively want to pick up and hod a crying baby, even someone elses.

Ginger
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