DD loses her lovey (and drives me crazy!)

[Alison's Mom]

DD is 4.5 and has stuffed monkey that she loves and goes to sleep with every night. To avoid losing 'monkey' out of the house, we make sure it doesn't go out with us unless it's an overnight trip.

However, DD brings monkey everywhere in the house, and many times at bedtime (like tonight) we are scrambling, looking everywhere around our 3 storey house, frantically searching for monkey. I got annoyed because it was so late already and it delayed bedtime even further.

How do I let her enjoy her monkey, but not be scrambling at bedtime looking for the darn thing, besides implant a GPS device?

[momtokea]

A GPS device might work.
I drove across town one night to pick up "Lambie" from a friend's house when my 2yodd left it there. She's 9 now and still sleeps with Lambie, but Lambie never leaves her bedroom now so it's a bit easier.

The older my dd gets the more protective *I* become of Lambie. Lambie has a special place in my heart and I will keep him forever

[Jojo F.]

Totally get another one ASAP. Always have two, or three, lovies!!

Ashamed I don't follow my own advice but, I figure I have a few more months before she has that much of a connection with something other than me

[Whistler]

Don't know. Ours is a blanket named "Nap". I've put in my time searching for that thing. It's getting better as she gets older and Nap stays closer to her bed.

[Mountaingirl79]

You need replicas. lol
My little bro had a lovey we all called softie that was a pillow ( a specific kind) and we traveled a lot so he had three. Two were back ups, because one day we left one in a hotel.

I had a Raggedy Ann that I loved as a child, and we also lost it on a trip. I eventually got over it. I think. lol

[Learning_Mum]

We have the same problem. DS1 often puts "Sammy" down in different places and it can be fun trying to find him!

We've had talks about how if he put Sammy in the same special place then we'd be able to find him when he wanted him. Sort of works. Sometimes.

I don't know if having two or three would help. DS1 (who is almost 4yo BTW) used to have a couple of Sammy's that he would happily swap around but one day he just decided that one of them was better and he wouldn't have the other one.

I just had a memory! DS was only about 18 months old and I think his usual Sammy was in the wash. He was really tired and he does this thing with Sammy where he takes big deep breaths of his hat and that seems to relax him. Anyway, he was taking deep breaths of this other Sammy and said "He's not working!!". He was so upset, it broke my heart!

[Kidzaplenty]

I don't suppose you could sew in some sort of beeper? That way if it got lost you could make it beep and follow the sound. That would make it so very easy.

Otherwise, I would try and teach her to only lay it down in specified spots. Like "safe" places (maybe make one per room?). That way you would know exactly where to look every time.

[woodsymommyof3]

Originally Posted by Jojo F.

Totally get another one ASAP. Always have two, or three, lovies!!

Ashamed I don't follow my own advice but, I figure I have a few more months before she has that much of a connection with something other than me

: I also did the duplicate thing. Once each of my kids formed an attachment to one specific item, I purchased 2-3 of the lovey. Not only does it help prevent the trauma from a missing lovey, but it prolongs the lovey's life since you can rotate them out. :

[mommy2two babes]

My DD has heart teddy and I can't duuplicate it because my Dad won it for her at our local fair for her a few years ago and because he is so cheaply made I have had to patch several boo boos over the last 2 years.

I finally made a rule that heart teddy has to stay in her room.
She is pretty good most of the time but we still have had a few late night searches.

[rainyday]

:

We finally had to make a rule that the lovey stays in the bedroom.

[limabean]

30 minutes before bedtime have her find the monkey and put it by the stairs or wherever so it'll be easy to grab on the way up to bed.

[ChinaDoll]

Yeah we have a "Bear-Bear stays in bed" rule at our house for exactly that reason!

[Alison's Mom]

Thanks for all the suggestions, folks! I've tried to find a replacement, but it's a Russ Berrie monkey that is no longer being made. There's only one on Ebay right now and it'll be around $60, and it's used!

As some of you have said, I'm not even sure if DD would be OK with a replacement, as it would be pretty obvious which one was the real thing (getting sort of beat up and ragged).

I like the idea of looking for monkey 30 min before bed, and about keeping it in the bedroom, or a designated spot in each room. I will try those or a combination of those and I'm sure something will work. Thanks, and good luck to the rest of you conducting last minute searches for loveys at 10pm!

[crl]

We have two of DS' lovey. And it is not allowed to come downstairs unless we are going someplace overnight. DS often complains about this rule, but I flat-out refuse to go all over the place looking for it at bedtime.

Catherine

[Snuzzmom]

Our DS's is a fairly large blanket named Deebee. It means that it's kind of a PITA when DS wants to drag Deebee all over the house, but Deebee is sort of hard to lose. (knock on wood). It was made by his Great Aunt so I can't get duplicates.

Deebee is not allowed out of the house, either.

[snoopy5386]

try having 20 different loveys that all need to be in bed, but get all spread out over the course of the day. I live in fear of losing a stuffed animal. And I can, never, ever, ever get rid of one that has a name. A little story.....we lost a stuffed bear, I'm not sure when sometime before Christmas. No one realized it at the time, but 4 months (months!!) later DD asked to play with the bear (fairbanks) and he was nowhere to be found. She cried and sobbed for days! Thank god for ebay, we were able to get another one.

[Beene]

Originally Posted by Alison's Mom

Thanks for all the suggestions, folks! I've tried to find a replacement, but it's a Russ Berrie monkey that is no longer being made. There's only one on Ebay right now and it'll be around $60, and it's used!

As some of you have said, I'm not even sure if DD would be OK with a replacement, as it would be pretty obvious which one was the real thing (getting sort of beat up and ragged).

I like the idea of looking for monkey 30 min before bed, and about keeping it in the bedroom, or a designated spot in each room. I will try those or a combination of those and I'm sure something will work. Thanks, and good luck to the rest of you conducting last minute searches for loveys at 10pm!

I have vivid memories of losing my stuffed rabbit called Syrup (don't ask) when I was little. I think I was able to move on when my mom told me that a mama bunny came and took it for her baby bunny to sleep with. How could I have argued with that?....

But I actually want to be prepared for this. As a new mama I have no idea how this lovey attachment develops. Is the attachment in how the toy/object is introduced to the child or is it random? I just want to be ready...
Do I wait until my son forms attachment to an object and THEN run out to get more for replacements, or do I introduce a stuffed animal or blanket to him in a certain way?

[Mum2JocelynAngus]

Like many others, we have a rule that Bear stays in bed. DD gets up in the morning, makes her bed & tucks Bear into bed for the day. Bear then stays in bed, looking after her other stuffed animals for the day. I don't have to worry about Bear at all at home; in hotels, etc. the location of Bear is an ongoing source of stress to me!

[crl]

Originally Posted by Beene

I have vivid memories of losing my stuffed rabbit called Syrup (don't ask) when I was little. I think I was able to move on when my mom told me that a mama bunny came and took it for her baby bunny to sleep with. How could I have argued with that?....

But I actually want to be prepared for this. As a new mama I have no idea how this lovey attachment develops. Is the attachment in how the toy/object is introduced to the child or is it random? I just want to be ready...
Do I wait until my son forms attachment to an object and THEN run out to get more for replacements, or do I introduce a stuffed animal or blanket to him in a certain way?

Well, we only let DS sleep with one stuffed animal (the one we have two of). He has dustmite allergies so we really can't do a bed full of the things. So that's what he bonded with. But mostly I think you have to wait to see what the kid wants and then hope you can find extras. (So you might want to try to limit the options to things you can get more of. . . .)

Catherine

[Alison's Mom]

Yeah, with us, it was totally random. We brought her things that we thought she would get attached to, and surprised us by developing a firm attachment to this monkey. We later realized it's because the monkey has a silky ribbon around its neck and DD likes to stroke the ribbon and suck her thumb to go to sleep. Now, if Monkey is not available (like on a car ride to the supermarket) any 'soft and silky' object will do, so we keep a satin stuffed heart in the car, and we do have some other satin belts/ribbons that she likes, but it's always Monkey that's #1. I do wish that I'd hunted for a duplicate when she first became attached because it would have been easier to find back then (abount 3 years ago!).