What do you do...?

[amber913]

when your wishes are blatantly ignored?

Ex. Your 4-yo ds is washed and dressed for bed. The family's just trying to get some toys put away before bed, and ds decides he wants to check out the new kittens outside--the ones you were JUST looking at. You say, "We're putting toys away right now. We'll look for the kittens tomorrow." He looks at you, wheels turning...and bolts.

It's my nature to turn into Godzilla at this point. I'm trying to control that. I don't profess to be a GD parent, as much as I'd like to be. I'm working on that, too. So often in my day, I ask myself, "What would the GD-er's do?" So I'm asking, what do you do when your kids blatantly ignore you when you ask them to do something?

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

Well, first, an ounce of prevention is priceless. So when we came in from outside, I would lock the door behind me and make sure there is a high up slider bar so the kids couldn't reach it. At least that way you aren't running after them outside in the dark. Saying "goodnight" to kittens in a way that makes it clear that this is the end of that activity is key as well. Rehearsing the routine as you come in probably helps as well. "First we'll have a bath, then we'll pick up toys, then we'll read 3 stories, then we'll go to sleep..." Working together to pick up toys, maybe with music or a timer to add fun, would be a good step as well.

If none of that works (and it doesn't always, of course), then I would retrieve the child and say "Both the kittens and you need to get ready for bed. Now its time to pick up toys" and carry/lead (depending on size and circumstances) back to the area with toys. If necessary, I would "help" child pick up toys by putting my hand over his and guiding. Or say "We have time to read 3 stories if we get this done quickly, but if it takes more than 2 minutes (set timer), we'll only have time for 1 story". Or "We'll have dessert after the toys are picked up". But then, I'm pretty much on the "more parental direction" side of GD.

If picking up toys were a consisstent problem, I might look for a longer-term solution like picking up at a different time, changing the routine about picking up as we went, reducing the overall toy load, or even an earlier bedtime to avoid over-tired kid.

[ssh]

We don't pick up toys at bedtime. It just makes my DD want to play with all of them. When my 3.5 year old is tired we brush teeth have a story in bed and she nurses to sleep. If we draw things out too long she gets hyper and going to sleep is very hard for her.