Is this normal? - Page 2

[VisionaryMom]

Originally Posted by Talula Fairie

is there any way you can get in before August?

My therapist gave me the info for another clinic that he says probably can see DS earlier. He also said that we really need to consider a ped crisis center if he gets worse. Not something I wanted to hear...

[inkslinger]

Originally Posted by crl

I'm surprised at the number of people who say this is normal. My kid (just turned 6) has never done this. And none of my friends has ever mentioned their kids doing this. So, my very limited experience is that this is not normal. Given the other issues you are seeing and the persistence of the behavior, I would tend to think you are right to be concerned about it.

Catherine

I agree, I haven't experienced this with my kids or nieces and nephews. I would probably be concerned.

[Talula Fairie]

it sounds like you're on the right track. I hope things improve for the both of you.

I agree with your therapist's assessment. Keep us posted on how everything turns out.

[Bluegoat]

Not safe, but both my kids do this. They don't really understand the possible issues, even the four year old.

[oceanbaby]

My kids have done it, but not repeatedly. Maybe 2-3 times? We used to have those awful blinds and I always kept the rope parts tied up, but there were a few times when ds1 untied them and looped it around his neck.

For the moment I would keep all rope and plastic bags out of his reach until he understands why it's so dangerous.

Do you think he understands that it's dangerous but does it anyway? Why does he say he wants to do it? Those are more the things that would possibly worry me, not the act itself.

[AllisonR]

I found this thread enlightening. Neither of my DCs has done this. DD I would say is pretty "typical, normal". DD is a bit odd, probably borderline something (had some sensory issues, freezes in certain social situations, does the oddball thing like licking your leg or whatever).... But neither have put bags over their heads (and they have plenty of access) or ropes around their necks (also lots of access). I wonder if they are in the minority, or if the people that posted happened to post because they can relate, kwim?

[Ruthla]

None of my kids have ever done anything like this either, certainly not on a daily basis!

I mean, as toddlers they've put a bag over their heads once or twice before I could stop them, and then after that I was more careful to keep them away from plastic bags (along with telling them it wasn't safe; here use this cloth bag on your head instead.) I've also had to redirect some "i'm a doggy wearing a leash" strings around the neck to just under the shoulders.

I'm glad to hear that you're taking this seriously and getting him help.

[Talula Fairie]

My kids did the bag thing maybe once which I of course stopped immediately, but it was in a "ooh look at my silly hat" kind of way. They thought it was hilarious. I, of course, did not.

I've really not heard of a child tying a rope around their neck tightly and it was just 'normal' behavior. My kids have tried to tie eachother to the tree (loosely, they don't know how to tie knots) with gardening tape, which actually was somewhat funny, but not around their necks and again, it was a playful thing.

[octobermom]

Just from a personal experience both from my own life my childs and other kids I personally know I say not normal.

Deanna

[octobermom]

Originally Posted by Talula Fairie

My kids did the bag thing maybe once which I of course stopped immediately, but it was in a "ooh look at my silly hat" kind of way. They thought it was hilarious. I, of course, did not.

This.. I alos remember watchign an epsoide of Dr G medical examiner where they did an autopsy on an 11 year old boy who died from chocking him self . It might not be anything but it would personal be something I'd try to stop.

Deanna

[VisionaryMom]

Originally Posted by AllisonR

does the oddball thing like licking your leg or whatever

lack of sleep maybe, but this cracked me up...

[One_Girl]

I think it is normal for kids to play with things like bags and strings even when they are told not to. It sounds like he is curious not trying to kill himself. I don't think you should leave him unsupervised with bags or string, but I also don't think you should react to strongly when he plays with them. I think you should just tell him bags aren't for playing with and direct him to another activity.

[VisionaryMom]

We have moved all plastic bags. We don't usually use them for groceries anymore (unless I forget the cloth bags ), but we do have a stash for various uses. We've put them away, and I moved all string/rope/etc. I could find today.

[mamabeca]

My four yo does it, and has no family history of BP or other mental disorder.

[gsd1amommy]

You can take this for what it is...
I babysat a little girl for years who had a nearly successful suicide attempt at age 10 (not while I was babysitting, though). I was very close to her and when she had her in-take at the pediatric psych hospital, she did it while sitting in my lap. I very nearly fainted when she told the intake nurse that she had been attempting suicide since before she started school using trash bags, hair ribbons, shoe strings, and belts but someone always stopped her and said, "Knock it off, Janie. That's not safe." Her mother confirmed that indeed she had been doing stuff like that for years but never considered a child being able to form the idea of suicide. I don't think if I'd ever seen Janie with a trash bag on her head I'd ever have thought she was trying to kill herself because I didn't think a child so young would do that. I learned differently.

[Heavenly]

Maybe it's normal for some kids but my son does have bipolar disorder and when he started trying to strangle himself a couple of months ago we knew that something was very off! It turns out the meds were off. My son was suicidal at 6 years old before he was diagnosed and medicated so I would get your son seen as soon as possible.

P.S. I also have bipolar disorder so we knew to watch out for it in our children.

[FreeRangeMama]

I vote for CAN be normal (my 5 year old does that all the time, not for any particular reason, just wraps something around his neck or whatever). But it sounds like your intuition is telling you this is part of something bigger. It is great that you are listening to that!

when you said that you are manic right now do you think that maybe he is reacting to your moods somewhat? Or possibly as a way of dealing with stress?

I also wanted to mention that it is possible that he is feeding off your moods. It is very difficult to be the child of a bipolar parent. Kids naturally feed off of their environment and when that environment fluctuates so drastically it is really hard! Even if he is not bipolar he may be struggling with this. I have a bipolar mother and I see just how hard it is for my more sensitive children to cope with her when her meds aren't regulating her moods well. It is very stressful for them.

[VisionaryMom]

Originally Posted by FreeRangeMama

It is very difficult to be the child of a bipolar parent.

This makes me so sad. I know it's true, but I feel I've sentenced both of my children to chaos and DS to a life of instability.

[FreeRangeMama]

I am sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel bad at all. We all have our challenges (and our strengths). They make us who we are and our children will learn so much from how we handle them! Having a mental illness is like any other health issue in a lot of regards. If you had severe allergies you may be limited in the places you could take your children. If you had a heart condition you may be limited in the activities you could participate in. Every aspect of our own lives will affect them. How we face them is what counts s

I grew up with a bipolar mom and I am a happy, healthy, functioning adult. It certainly has made me more compassionate towards other people! And the fact that you are aware of the unique challenges of your family sets you far above my upbringing. My mom preferred to not take her meds, dump all her problems on us, and insist she was the best mom ever .

I just wanted to mention that there are unique stresses at work, so to be mindful that it may affect him in different ways. Sorry if I made you feel bad