Calling all teen and really young parents!

[holyhelianthus]

Thread in Television has me thinking on this. We use to have a "really young mamas" tribe IIRC. I'd love to have another tribe like that! Is anyone else interested?

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My intro...

I'm Maggie. I got pregnant with my first at 17 and am now having my last two (5 in all) hopefully when I am 24 (trying to hold them in AT LEAST past my birthday on the 17th of July). We have all girls and live in Southern California. DH is actually younger than me only by some months but he still looks about 15 so he gets most of the flack from "concerned citizens". We got married a few months after DD1 was born.

Family is very important to us. We came from pretty hard homes and are so thankful to have found each other when we did. Life as parents and married and in the "real world" has been much more easy on us than our childhoods! Because of that we want to make our kid's lives better than ours were. We're really hoping to make home a haven not a hell.

DH works and I work from home but very little (yay for the economy! ) When things are normal I usually work about 3 hours a day and right now I have about 20 minutes of work

I think that is about it for my intro. Anyone else?

:

[1littlebit]

i got pg with DS when i was 19. i am 22 now ... DP and i are not married but we are in a loving committed relationship! we are currently house hunting and hope to have another baby after we are settled and have a little bit more room!

family is also important to us. my family is great.. they were amazing when i got pg... a bit disappointed of course.. and afraid for me.. but lemme tell ya ... they were shocked b/c about a year before i told them i was a lesbian... what can i say i wanted to have alllll kinds of life experiences in college DPs family is nice.. i think i just need to get to know them better. his mom works for the state department is leaving on saturday to go to afghanistan for a year. his dad drives me batty but he's an good guy.. he is currently taking college classes to fill the time while his wife is away they are also incredibly and wonderfully supportive and loving to DP, me and DS.

i put college on hold to stay at home with DS... and it will probably stay on hold until we are done having kids and the youngest is in school.. assuming i don't homeschool .. so we will see. (incidentally when you say this to most people they hear - " i got pg at 19 and dropped out of college. i am unemployed and shacking up with my boyfriend who just happens to be my kid's father"

[mommy2two babes]

I was 20 2 mos before DD was born.
22 a month before DS was born.
I should be 25 2 mos before this next one is born.

I love being a younger Mom.
I hate how some people view it.
When I had my DD the hospital actually sent a social worker in to talk to me. Nevermind that I was married and very happy to be a Mom. Somehow I don't believe that they do that to older Moms.

[1littlebit]

we had to have a social worker talk to us about how to use the billi blanket they gave us for DSs jaundice. the hospital didn't even want to release him... they weren't going to put him under lights but they didn't want to let me take him home until is billi levels dropped.

i called our pediatrician and i was crying so hard i could barely talk. i told her that we were supposed to leave today and that i had to be discharged but they didn't want to discharge ds. the lady who answered the phone was so great.. she told me that it was ok and that she understood exactly why i was upset and that the doctor was away at a conference all day but she would call her right away.

the doctor called the hospital and told them that they would continue to test his levels until they went down and there was no reason to hold him hostage. with in the hour we were both ready to be discharged. then another doctor from our practice called and requested a billi blanket for us. that took over 4 hours...but we got everything ready, talked to the worlds dumbest social worker (i wish i was kidding) and left that afternoon.

at out doctors appt. i showed her the billi blanket they gave us and she flipped out b/c they gave my 9lb baby a preemie billi blanket for babies up to 4 lbs. she was so mad.. she made them refund our money and deliver a new one to our house that day.

[Amylcd]

I'm no longer a "younger" mom at 26, but I had my first two before the age of 20. We added the third at age 24. The first two years of having two children (only 15 months apart) was hard but we made it work. I am SO thankful I had my children early. Last year (at only 25) I needed surgery which took away my ability to reproduce. If I had waited until most people thought I should, I would have never gotten to experience motherhood.

When I had my DD the hospital actually sent a social worker in to talk to me.

This happened with my first also. I know it was because I was an unmarried, low income teen mom. They did not do this with my third (mid twenties, middle income, and married).

[Cherie2]

Can I join? I was 21 when I had my first but that was almost 21 years ago lol. My almost 21 year old dd had her first at 16 and is pregnant again. I am most interested in what you all have to say and have some experience to share..

[Mama~Love]

I was young when I had my first 2. #1 I was 16, and #2 I was 18. My oldest will turn 16 next month.

[holyhelianthus]

I had a social worker come and see me when I was hospitalized with hyper emesis with DD1. They were convinced I was bulimic and was trying to keep my weight down in pregnancy. She kept saying "you have to eat or baby won't grow" and I'm just laying there in pain with IVs saying "yes I know but I throw every last thing up!" we just went 'round and 'round. My OB came in a bit after she left and I was in tears. I told him what happened and he was very upset. That at least made me feel like SOMEONE got it! : I have been in the hospital for HG since then with other pregnancies and not had any visits.

I am most interested in what you all have to say and have some experience to share..

Anything specifcally? I had my first at 18, my second at 20, and my third at 21. The only thing I could really share advice wise is maybe spacing them out more than we did but it looks like she has that covered.

Love that you are such a supporitve mama to her! :

[Cherie2]

Originally Posted by magstphil

Anything specifcally?

not atm, but I enjoy following along

[almadianna]

There was a thread in parenting. I will move this one there as well.

[holyhelianthus]

Originally Posted by almadianna

There was a thread in parenting. I will move this one there as well.

I started it in Parenting and it was moved to FYT

[almadianna]

Originally Posted by magstphil

I started it in Parenting and it was moved to FYT

Thanks for letting me know that. This thread does belong in parenting.

[bezark]

I don't know if I qualify as really young, but I had DS 3 months ago at 23 (DH is 22).
We're "unique" in our area in that while we are very young, we were married for a 1.5 years before DS's arrival, we own a home, and he was planned.
I think some of his family doesn't believe he was planned because we didn't feel the need to tell every aunt and uncle that we were TTC, but everyone is still really, really supportive.

We've always wanted to be young parents, mostly so we'd have time to decide if we wanted more than one and so we could space them (way) out, and so we could be around for all of their major life events, still be young enough to really enjoy our grandchildren, etc.

I also knew that I wanted to SAH until all potential children entered school, so it works out well for me to put off college until that happens (though I am going to start taking 1 class per semester). In the field I plan to go into, it's very important that I retain everything I learn in school, so there was no sense in going to college at 18 when I may not work until 30 or later.

[gromero]

Originally Posted by Amylcd

I'm no longer a "younger" mom at 26.

Shhhhhh....you are confirming my fears...I am no longer "young"!!!!!! I will be 26 in a few weeks and I am dreading it.

I will come back later when the kids aren't into everything to tell my story.

[MusicianDad]

Hey!

DD was born when DH was 16 and I became part of the family when I was 17. I was all but living with them for about two and a half years before that.

Around the time we moved in together DH's parents decided to cut us out of their lives, they had a moral opposition to our lifestyle and we weren't able to reach a compromise with them.

My mom has always tried to be supportive, but she did feel I was throwing away my life by making the choice I did. I had no real reason to become a parent so young and she couldn't understand why I would choose to do it.

School was the hardest because being a parent and in high school was a taboo idea and was rewarded with quite a bit of gossip and exclusion. Not to mention teachers trying to tell me how to do my job. Most of whom didn't follow the same parenting ideologies as I did.

The one true supporter our family had was my dad. He was actually thrilled (partly because I had been telling him from an early age I didn't want to be a dad). He understood that I love DH and that I understood DD was part part of the package and that by the time we moved in together I loved her just as much as her dad did.

[Fruitful4Him]

Nearing 30 now and finally don't feel like a "young mom" so much anymore: LOL.. I became pregnant with my first child at 17. I endured a lot of the stigma and struggles that many post about here. The worst thing ..(that I will NEVER forget) was that after my glorious natural childbirth they took my baby to the hospital nursery to drug test her meconium. (I didn't discover this until I requested my records while pregnant with my 2nd babyI had NEVER used drugs..my only risk factor was that I was a young, single mom) I shudder to consider what may have transpired had I accepted medication in labor. Did you know that despite having FDA approval as a reliable method of detecting drugs in newborn babies, that there have been babies taken from their mothers after they have found "drugs" in the babies meconium? Sometimes a sedative given in labor that the nurse forgot to chart, etc. I would have been nearly defenseless against false charges as a young, single mother.. I could have lost my baby... I am sure some nice, rich married couple would have loved that. Yeah..still a little bitter about that.

I am now a student midwife, doula, and childbirth educator. I am PASSIONATE about mothering and women's issues. Informed consent/informed refusal is a big issue for me as well. I have seen far too many women treated very harshly due to social status or youth. I try to give back by doing my part to make sure ALL mothers have access to mother-friendly care in my community. I can't reach everyone of course, but I feel better thinking that just maybe, I can give another young mom the resources to make her entry into motherhood less scary and more empowering. I went though a lot of crap the first few years due to so much prejudice from people who never thought me worth the effort to get to know what sort of mother I really was simply based on my age.

[NaturalMindedMomma]

Hey lovies! Torre here. I am going to be 25, this wednesday.

Abrielle was born right before my 23rd birthday. I also got pregnant 4 times 2 times in highschool and 2 times in my first marriage at 20 and 22. I lost all those angels.

Ihad my daughter while still legally married to my ex (although we were seperated) from a one night stand. My divorce will be final in Sept (120 day wait). I am with a wonderful man who has 2 children, Joey, 6 and Aaliyah, 5 from his previous marriage. He became a dad at 17 and had his kids full time ever since ( although recently they went to be with their mom for a time while he sorted through some things and while we went through a tough time). We are expecting a little girl in early August. We are planning on getting married this May and hoping he will be able to legally adopt my 2 year old.

Glad to be here ladies.

[NaturalMindedMomma]

Originally Posted by Fruitful4Him

Nearing 30 now and finally don't feel like a "young mom" so much anymore: LOL.. I became pregnant with my first child at 17. I endured a lot of the stigma and struggles that many post about here. The worst thing ..(that I will NEVER forget) was that after my glorious natural childbirth they took my baby to the hospital nursery to drug test her meconium. (I didn't discover this until I requested my records while pregnant with my 2nd babyI had NEVER used drugs..my only risk factor was that I was a young, single mom) I shudder to consider what may have transpired had I accepted medication in labor. Did you know that despite having FDA approval as a reliable method of detecting drugs in newborn babies, that there have been babies taken from their mothers after they have found "drugs" in the babies meconium? Sometimes a sedative given in labor that the nurse forgot to chart, etc. I would have been nearly defenseless against false charges as a young, single mother.. I could have lost my baby... I am sure some nice, rich married couple would have loved that. Yeah..still a little bitter about that.

I am now a student midwife, doula, and childbirth educator. I am PASSIONATE about mothering and women's issues. Informed consent/informed refusal is a big issue for me as well. I have seen far too many women treated very harshly due to social status or youth. I try to give back by doing my part to make sure ALL mothers have access to mother-friendly care in my community. I can't reach everyone of course, but I feel better thinking that just maybe, I can give another young mom the resources to make her entry into motherhood less scary and more empowering. I went though a lot of crap the first few years due to so much prejudice from people who never thought me worth the effort to get to know what sort of mother I really was simply based on my age.

Wow that is crazy about the drug test. I am also a doula, I plan on donating services to low income and teen moms, hopefully we can make a difference.

[1littlebit]

Originally Posted by Fruitful4Him

I am now a student midwife, doula, and childbirth educator. I am PASSIONATE about mothering and women's issues. Informed consent/informed refusal is a big issue for me as well. I have seen far too many women treated very harshly due to social status or youth. I try to give back by doing my part to make sure ALL mothers have access to mother-friendly care in my community. I can't reach everyone of course, but I feel better thinking that just maybe, I can give another young mom the resources to make her entry into motherhood less scary and more empowering. I went though a lot of crap the first few years due to so much prejudice from people who never thought me worth the effort to get to know what sort of mother I really was simply based on my age.

i could have written this!! i would like to be a midwife but am waiting till DS is older to start seriously looking into schools! i would really like to start an organization for young pg women who have decided to keep their babies. i would like to have support groups for them to be able to talk to other women who are now or have been in their situation. i would like to give them access to information and support about natural birth, breast feeding, parenting etc.
i just have no idea where to start

[tapiocapudding]

I had my DS when I was 22, so young, but not *really* young (I'm 23 now). I have found that where I live most people tend to delay childbearing, especially the AP type mamas. I attend a group for young moms (it's for 22 and under but they weren't going to kick me out just for turning 23 :P) and I have made some great friends there even though our styles of parenting are quite different.
I also dream of being a midwife one day but I want to wait until I'm done having kids and they're in their teens because I know that career often doesn't afford a lot of work life balance.