Calling all teen and really young parents! - Page 3

[fruitfulmomma]

if i didn't know better i would say that we have an awful lot in common with parents who waited until the 'right' age to have children. we better watch it or we are going to really mess up the 'young parent' stereotype

My niece also had her baby at home, and I think she was 16 or 17, and bf'ed for over a year and bedshared.

I remember being told by our teacher in 5th grade that she was so glad she waited until she was 29 to have her first child and how having children too young would ruin our lives. And I was told by another friend that I better not have one until I was at least 21. Oops, guess I missed it by a year.

[mommy2two babes]

Originally Posted by kayabrink

Now, I'm pg again (at 27) and people always assume that this is my first. They give me 'first time mom advice' along the lines of "wait and see until X happens...you'll feel different then (about NCB, BF, CD, GD...)" and I always answer "Well, that's not how I felt about it/what happened the first time around."
And yes, in my area, the youngest age for having your first child is around 30.

I have had this before too. Well intentioned people trying to give advice to the first time Mom.
They always seem pretty surprised when I tell them that I have 2 more at home

My Mom was a younger Mom as well ( 21 when she had me.)
People can't believe she is a grandma, women her age in my area are just having babies and chasing after toddlers themselves

[mom2cash]

I belong here... I had my DS when I was 20 and am due with #2 now and will have him/her sometime around my 22nd birthday in November. Now that I'm showing I'm waiting for the stares/comments to start up again... espcially with 2! I think part of it is I look much younger than I am and the fact I live in an area where most moms delay childbirth and generally look down upon younger moms for either not putting family on hold for a career (I HATE working. I have interests. Just because I don't have a career and SAH to raise my kids does not make my life worthless) or because it was seemingly unplanned. Yes, I know what causes it.

My DH is 27 but also looks very young... he gets carded all the time and even laughed at an then carded. We've been married for over 3 years and were married for a year before conceiving DS, though I really resent the fact that I have to bring that up to "defend" myself from people.

[rebirth]

I'm 21, expecting our first. We're married, homeowners and my husband has a full time management level position in addition to persuing his bachelors (he's planning to become a history proffessor). I am a birth assistant and doula, as well as learning all I can to persue midwifery.

My first pregnancy I was 19 and single- and expecting twins. I lost those babies, and two more when I was 20. I will be 22 when this baby is born. We were struggling financially for a while, but have been blessed to be doing so much better. When I first got pregnant it seemed so much harder!

I know that as a young mom we'll have some unique struggles, but we'll also have a great life! We'll have so much energy and love to share, and we're very open minded.

[barefootmama0709]

I'm 23 and DH is 24. We have been together since we were 19 and 21 and have 2 little boys.

[Mal85]

I'm not so young, but definitely feel it in comparison to when a lot of people are starting their families nowadays. I'm 23 and had my first 4 months ago. I got married when I was 19 (gasp, not pregnant, just found the right one). I wanted to start a family right away, but we decided to wait while I was in college. I became pregnant just a few months before we had planned to start trying, so she was a bit of a surprise.

DH is older than me, he'll soon be 28. So, people weren't too shocked at him becoming a dad. But I'm younger and look quite a bit younger than I am. But people that know me were surprised I waited as long as I did. I've always been very open about the fact that I wanted to be a mom more than anything in the world. I think I got started at just the right age for me.

[frontierpsych]

DH and I were married for about 3 months when I got pregnant with my first. I was 19 and he was 21. She was stillborn (full term) 2 days after my 20th birthday. Got pregnant again a few months later, before I'd even gotten my period back. Lost that baby at 10 weeks. Finally had DS last August- I was 21, DH was 24 (so I was young, but he was an old man, lol). I still don't know anyone my age who parents similarly to me. I go to a local homebirthing moms meetup each month-- most of them are in their 30's.

I don't get too much judgement for being young, probably because most people think I'm in my late 20's (I'm 22). I guess I come across as older. When I was pregnant with DD, I had more than one of the midwives (I was seen at a hospital with a team of 6 midwives) ask me if I was a nurse. I was like "Um, no, I graduated from high school less than a year ago!" I did have one nurse look at my chart and see that I was planning a birth with midwives say "Aren't you a little YOUNG for this natural birth stuff?" ... whatever THAT'S supposed to mean...

[pomplemoose]

I sorta fit into this category DP is 30 and has a 7and 5yo that live with us full time i'm only 21 so i definitely get the weird looks. I know that I'm not a biological parent but i am a parent and taking on these two kids at 2 and 4 was a tough task. I know all of you have gone through these things and i'm very proud of you all! I guess we do a lot for the people we love. We're going to wait until DP is done with school and the kids are a bit older to try to have our own. Something I desperately want but understand the need to wait for.

[Purple Sage]

Hi mamas! I turned 21 ten days after my first was born - she's 12 now, so I guess that makes me an old lady! My exhusband and I had been married for 6 months when I got pregnant with her. We ended up getting divorced right after DD1 turned two.

Then I met DH, who is a year and a half younger than me - he fell into the role of "young parent" right away. We've since had three more kids, the youngest is almost 4 months old. I still get carded buying alcohol, so I guess I still look young (although I'm feeling every bit of my 33 years). People are definitely surprised when I say I've got 4 kids.

Being a young mom and looking even younger was hard. It's getting easier now that I'm older, but I remember feeling so self conscious while buying diapers when the clerk would say rude things to me (and stuff like that happened on an almost daily basis). It was ridiculous.

[SoCaliMommy]

I had my daughter a month before i turned 21. I had my son when i was 23-a few months before turning 24.
I'm now almost 27. Dh is 30.
We didn't get married til DD was 8months old, but had been together 2yrs and engaged 1yr. We've been together almost 9yrs and married 5yrs.

[Krisis]

Someone mentioned being in the hospital puking on their 21 bday - me too!! I got pregnant with DS when I was 20 and had him about 8 weeks after I turned 21.

My mom had me when she was 19, and my grandma had her when she was 21, so young parents run in my family People are SHOCKED to hear that my mom is Toby's grandma - she's 42, but looks 32-33 (it's ridiculous!)

I'm more than happy to be a young mom, even though I do wish I had finished my degree first. I honestly can't imagine waiting to have kids - what would you DO? Maybe it's just because I'm in Utah, and most parents start very young here.

Being pregnant with Toby damaged my heart pretty badly, so I can't have any more kids. I was sterilized earlier this year. It still hurts sometimes, but I am getting more and more excited by the fact that we're going to be able to do all sorts of crazy things soon without having to wait till little siblings are old enough.

[1littlebit]

i wasn't pg on my 21 bday but i had a 4 month old!! one of my good friends is a year younger then me and the rest of our friends and she has been looking forward to her 21 first birthday for a lonnggg time... it was this month. she is 20 wks pg!! i think she went out to dinner with her family... not exactly the major blow out she had planned.. but she didn't want to be the only one at her 21st birthday who couldn't drink.

oo something kind of funny. she was never the most careful person in terms of birth control (she said she never wanted to have kids so i'm not sure why this is) but i when i got pg she told me over and over again that she learned from me. now a year and a half later she's pg. i called her said "you learned the wrong thing!!!!" my other best friend thought she was pg a month or so ago. you'd think having to friends who have gotten pg would have some effect. apparently not!

[fairymom]

I qualify here too.I was 3 weeks from17 when i had my 1st, 18 when I had my 2nd, 22 when I had my 3rd, 25 when I had my 4th, 28 when I had my 5th and now at 32 I just had my 6th. I've been a mom for half my life!as you can see, w/the exception of my first 2 there is about a 3-4 yr age difference between my dc and I really like that spacing- no 2 in dipes at the same time. My eldest is coming up on the same age as I was when I got pg w/her and thou I don't regret any of my dc I do hope she (well all of them) go a different path that I did.Life has not been easy and as any mother does-I hope for more/easier for my dc.

I am now 32 and the response I get from people in general is so different now than when I was younger. I still look really young (like 25- I get carded for cigs, and alcolhol). The biggest thing I got from others was pure doubt that I could be young and still a good mom- sterotyped a lot.I go out w/my old dc now and the world thinks we're sibs.I go out w/the baby and I get a lot of "is he your 1st?" and smiles. But oh the looks on their faces when I tell them "no, he's my 6th!" I love the shock value.

I really wish 15 yrs ago when I started my motherhood journey I had had a place like this to chat w/other moms- both young and old.I think it would have helped me be more confident and make more informed decisions in my parenting!I love MDC for what it has been able to teach me.

I want to be encouraging to a younger generation of "young" moms and tell you guys here you're already doing better than most because you seek help and make more informed decisions. Keep it up!

[holyhelianthus]

We conceived Olive (#3) on my 21st birthday That wasn't planned but it was a great day that lead to great things.

[Talula Fairie]

I wasn't pregnant on my 21st birthday but I was pregnant on my 22nd. I requested to go to a sushi restaurant (where I ate all the cooked fish/veg sushi, I was super careful at the time). I ate green tea ice cream for dessert. Well, this was before I caught on to the ins and outs of hg/morning sickness...and when I got home I thought "oh, I have a full stomach, I'll take my prenatal vitamin!" Yeah. So I lost that entire dinner, and I didn't quiiiiite make it to the toilet. It was EVERYWHERE in my bathroom. I was finding little bits of green vomit (which has to be the grossest thing EVER) for months.

[Hesperia]

Not really fitting perfectly into the catergory, but can totally sympathize with that people are saying to you guys!

I'm 22 and TTC#1 (DH is 29).

I have to get this off my chest, it has been bugging me, and you are the right people to listen.

I was nannying two of the children I watch, and in indoor play area (bouncy castle), and this mom started chatting with me. Small talk about the ages etc of the children. She called them mine, and I corrected her. She said "I thought you were too young to be a mother" "People now-a-days have children at MY age, you know older and more mature". jaw drops.

So, I carry on and ignore the fact that she was so rude to me. She seemed nice and all, just not bright. Not bright at all.

I told her (no bloody idea why), that I was tired from a busy day with the kids and felt I might be pregnant as well (bfn some days later).
"Planned??" She said.
I replied yes. My husband and I are trying to a child. I am also a birth doula and know very clearly what I am getting myself into.
Dead silence. "Husband" "planned" "Oh, you are ready then".

I feel better, thank you. Why do people think out loud. I don't care if you think I am young. Oh, she also asked me age (holy this woman) and for some reason I lied (or actually forgot I'm not 23, I'm always confused). She was like "wow, so young!".

Ugh.

[Talula Fairie]

Originally Posted by Hesperia

Not really fitting perfectly into the catergory, but can totally sympathize with that people are saying to you guys!

I'm 22 and TTC#1 (DH is 29).

I have to get this off my chest, it has been bugging me, and you are the right people to listen.

I was nannying two of the children I watch, and in indoor play area (bouncy castle), and this mom started chatting with me. Small talk about the ages etc of the children. She called them mine, and I corrected her. She said "I thought you were too young to be a mother" "People now-a-days have children at MY age, you know older and more mature". jaw drops.

So, I carry on and ignore the fact that she was so rude to me. She seemed nice and all, just not bright. Not bright at all.

I told her (no bloody idea why), that I was tired from a busy day with the kids and felt I might be pregnant as well (bfn some days later).
"Planned??" She said.
I replied yes. My husband and I are trying to a child. I am also a birth doula and know very clearly what I am getting myself into.
Dead silence. "Husband" "planned" "Oh, you are ready then".

I feel better, thank you. Why do people think out loud. I don't care if you think I am young. Oh, she also asked me age (holy this woman) and for some reason I lied (or actually forgot I'm not 23, I'm always confused). She was like "wow, so young!".

Ugh.

People like that annoy me immensely.

[1littlebit]

your married! you must be ready to have children! she was totally rude.. i don't get people sometimes

[Hesperia]

Originally Posted by 1littlebit

your married! you must be ready to have children! she was totally rude.. i don't get people sometimes

She even asked how long we've been married. And, I said 4 years. When really we've been together for four. I had had enough of her

[ThisLove]

I kinda fit on here ... Not super young, but young!

First time I got pregnant, I was 18. Took a really rough tumble off of a young horse and lost that baby. I was in college - it was a total surprise when I woke up at the hospital and they told me that oh, I was pregnant, but was losing it (REALLY rough tumble off said horse).

Met a guy that I thought was The One and we found out that I was pregnant right before we were to get married (I was 20), but lost Baby M at 14 weeks. Ended up leaving the guy due to some crazy circumstances and moved home a few months before my 21st birthday.

Found DH (we went to HS together and became good friends before I left for school) when I moved back home. He proposed in January of '07, we started planning our wedding and I found out that I was pregnant late June. Got married at the courthouse, had our perfect garden wedding in September, and Calloway was born in February of '08!

I'll be 24 when Ari arrives in November (he was conceived on Calloway's 1st birthday, LOL!) and I'm having a BLAST. DH works for a Really Big Popular Company, brings home an alright paycheck, and I love being a SAHM. We were met with a lot of, "Do you have any idea what you're getting yourselves in to?" and "It's not easy, yanno," before Calloway was born and a bunch of anger (both of our families are EXTREMELY conservative, having babies before a ring's on your finger is a huge no-no). I've realized that wearing a wedding ring does NOT protect one's self from unsolicited comments about age. I look REALLY young - young enough to make a hostess at a restaurant's eyes bug out of her head when I explained to her that I had an almost-16 month old home already after she asked when I was due!

I wouldn't have done it any other way. My parents were older when they adopted me (they had two biochildren, 11 & 12 years older than me) and it SUCKED. They were so wrapped up in their careers, etc, that they had very little time for me ... they had decided long before I came along that they were "finished" parenting, if you kwim. I would love to have a huge family, but I don't think DH's up for it ... But I guess we'll see!