Grrr....violent playground games - Page 2

[RiverTam]

Originally Posted by Awaken

I guess what bothered me was 1) the boys' (to me) extreme focus on killing everything and the forcefulness of how they were doing it. It was disturbing to me. 2) the mother's lack of concern that I was obviously uncomfortable with how her son was violently shooting mine, and was not backing me up as

But she did back you up. After you talked to her son, she called her son over and talked to him, too.

And little boys are full of energy. They're forceful about everything, not just gun play. You should see my boys play with their race cars or climb on the playground. It's loud and fast and very physical.

I wouldn't have been concerned, if I was that mother, either. It's just pretend. My boys play swords and guns and bombs and every other thing. They kill the bad guys and save the planet on a regular basis. They also know it's just pretend and that they may NOT put their hands on another person in a painful, non-gentle way. The second someone gets hurt during one of those games is the second that the toy/gun/sword/bomb is taken away. They also know that real guns hurt people in real ways that are not fixable. I don't have a problem with their fantasy play because I think it's a way for them to get some feelings of mastery over things that scare them. It's a place to put some anxieties about the world.

I wouldn't have said a thing until after you told my son to stop and he didn't stop. Then I would have done the same thing and pulled him aside to say "That lady asked you to stop. You didn't stop. That's rude. You need to respect other people's requests."

[Elizabeth2008]

a pp brought up the comparison to playing with cars and how you can't control their play, telling them to be careful of pedestrians, etc. While interesting, I think it's not really the same thing. The difference is that cars don't have as their main purpose killing people. That's what guns do. That's their purpose and so the very nature of gun play is violent. A little of this is unavoidable with boys, and probably not detrimental at all. But friends who can't seem to focus on any other creative play other than blowing up and shooting things are understandably influences you may not want on your children. I don't blame you at all for feeling that way.

I do think as a society re should re-examine how we view guns and their glorification. There's a big billboard on our drive to school with some new kids movie that has a bunch of rodents (I think it's called G-Force) and a couple of them have machine guns slung over their shoulders. WTF? This is a movie marketed to young kids. If someone caught their DS "pretending rape" with another child they would be rightly horrified. Yet, how is it any different to pretend to shoot someone in the face?

[QueenOfTheMeadow]

We're watching Star Wars right now!

I think this is a really interesting article that might explain some of this type of play.
http://www.mothering.com/bang-bang-youre-dead

[GuildJenn]

Originally Posted by Elizabeth2008

a pp brought up the comparison to playing with cars and how you can't control their play, telling them to be careful of pedestrians, etc. While interesting, I think it's not really the same thing. The difference is that cars don't have as their main purpose killing people. That's what guns do. That's their purpose and so the very nature of gun play is violent. A little of this is unavoidable with boys, and probably not detrimental at all. But friends who can't seem to focus on any other creative play other than blowing up and shooting things are understandably influences you may not want on your children. I don't blame you at all for feeling that way.

I do think as a society re should re-examine how we view guns and their glorification. There's a big billboard on our drive to school with some new kids movie that has a bunch of rodents (I think it's called G-Force) and a couple of them have machine guns slung over their shoulders. WTF? This is a movie marketed to young kids. If someone caught their DS "pretending rape" with another child they would be rightly horrified. Yet, how is it any different to pretend to shoot someone in the face?

I think you missed my point which is that to kids the consequences of "killing" someone with a gun or "shooting" them in the face or "killing" someone with a car are just not clear.

Yes, of course, as adults we see that guns are for killing (or hunting, or target practice) but to kids playing guns is just another mode of play. How we respond to that play is important, but just because some kids like to play guns doesn't make them a bad influence any more than some kids playing killing dragons is cruelty to animals.

As for rape... well, lots of fairy tales and fairy tale play, as well as a number of Bible stories, actually kind of almost do get into that. Of course I would be concerned about it in the sense of wondering where they got the idea. But lots of Barbies have been mutilated across the country by people who did not grow up to be ok with rape or decapitation.