safety issues

[futurmama8]

I have a friend with two children ages 26 months and 4 years. Neither is in a seat . Their mom and grandmother have said at 2 they get rid of the car seats and just let them sit alone and I am so scared for them. She gives me an old convertible car seat for the baby but the 4 year has rode without a car seat since he was 2. She said he doesn't like it and I offered to buy her some but she just said no they are fine. She doesn't have the internet and I just need to show her how dangerous this as the baby sits on someones lap as they drive. What I need to know is:

1. What can I personally buy for them that is safe but not overly expensive?
2. What can I tell this woman about the dangers of this?
3. What if she doesn't take the car seats? I will leave them in my car for when they come with me if she doesn't.
4. What can I get for the 2 year old who is tall so that it will last them some years?
5. Is there any place I can get cheaper car seats?

Thank you

[chickabiddy]

Google your local SafeKids chapter: if there is a carseat check, the kids will likely leave in seats.

I'm assuming that these folks are not interested in best practice recommendations, so I'll be focusing on budget and ease of use. For the 4yo, assuming s/he is at least average size, you could get a highbacked Graco Turbobooster from albeebaby.com for $40. For the 2yo, you can get an Evenflo Chase for around $60.

[bajamergrrl]

Do you think your friend might be receptive if you printed this out for her?http://www.aap.org/family/carseatguide.htm

[rootzdawta]

I agree . . . a print out might be helpful. Maybe they just don't know how serious it is.

[Youngfrankenstein]

I would not buy them a seat. I think giving them info is the best bet but you can't assume it will be responded to. Is CPS an option?

[futurmama8]

I will check those out chickabiddy
Thank you for that bajamergrrl. I will give this to her and ask later if she wants me to buy the seats.

Rootzdawta I really don't think they know how serious it is because their grandmother did the same thing for their mother. I really believe car seat safety should be pushed in low-income communities.

CPS is not an option because she isn't neglectful nor abusive, she just doesn't realize how freaking dangerous this can be. I want to show her pictures of the crazy things that can happen but I think me talking to her a little more will get her to change her mind.

[Twinklefae]

Could you appeal to her financial sense? I've had success with a couple of people by pointing out how expensive tickets are... generally more than the cost of a seat. (At least here they are.)

[bobandjess99]

Originally Posted by futurmama8

CPS is not an option because she isn't neglectful nor abusive, she just doesn't realize how freaking dangerous this can be..

Actually, not using a carseat is not only illegal, but considered neglect, and is absolutely a CPS-reportable issue. She IS neglecting the health and safety of her children, period.

[Ruthla]

Should she get into a car crash, her children could die or be permenantly brain damaged. Chances are, they would not sustain such injuries if they were properly restrained in appropriate carseats. Therefore, these potential injuries are largely preventable. That IS child neglect!

I normally say "don't call CPS unless the children are in immediate physical danger." These kids are in physical danger every time she drives them somewhere.

If you've already tried to educate her, and she's won't listen, she might pay more attention if a CPS caseworker showed up at her door.

[chickabiddy]

I would try telling her that not using seats is officially neglectful before calling.

[choli]

Originally Posted by bobandjess99

Actually, not using a carseat is not only illegal, but considered neglect, and is absolutely a CPS-reportable issue. She IS neglecting the health and safety of her children, period.

That would be assuming that the OP lives in the USA. This is not the case universally.

[AndrewsMother]

I purchased this seat for a friends 25 pound 3 year old. It lasts up to 80poinds.

Here are the seat belt laws for all states.

[futurmama8]

I understand that it is neglectful but I am not really CPS happy when she doesn't realize what can happen. I am trying to educate her and give her information so she can learn and pass this on. She is very young and is a great mother and she will do anything for them within her limits but this a cycle in her family and she doesn't know any better. So no I will not be calling cps.

Thanks Andrewsmother I think I may get that for both of the kids since the baby is almost 30 pounds. I really appreciate it.

[tallulahma]

I would most definitely tell her flat out- its illegal, dangerous and if she got pulled over they could fine her and report her to cps!

I have an almost 4 year old and I cannot IMAGINE, her not being in a seat!!!!

[AndrewsMother]

Originally Posted by futurmama8

I understand that it is neglectful but I am not really CPS happy when she doesn't realize what can happen. I am trying to educate her and give her information so she can learn and pass this on. She is very young and is a great mother and she will do anything for them within her limits but this a cycle in her family and she doesn't know any better. So no I will not be calling cps.

Thanks Andrewsmother I think I may get that for both of the kids since the baby is almost 30 pounds. I really appreciate it.

I actually paid $10 less as it was on sale and I had a 15% coupon. Why don't you ask around MDC, maybe someone has a coupon or two that they could spare.

[DahliaRW]

The harness in that seat only goes to 40lbs, just an fyi.

[AndrewsMother]

Originally Posted by DahliaRW

The harness in that seat only goes to 40lbs, just an fyi.

A harness to 40# and a booster to 80# is better than bumping around on the back seat.

[chickabiddy]

Originally Posted by AndrewsMother

A harness to 40# and a booster to 80# is better than bumping around on the back seat.

Yes, but the straps on that seat are also very short and the 4yo has probably outgrown it by height and it's not a good booster. There are better choices for not much more money.

[futurmama8]

what other seats do you suggest? I really think some kind of booster would be good for the 4yo boy, but which ones are good for him as he is tall and skinny. The baby girl is tall for her age but not too tall but very solid, probably about 30 pounds.

Thank you everyone for your suggestions. I am taking this seriously and plan to talk to her sunday about it when I go visit them.

[Valid28]

Maybe you could tell her that not only are her babies safer in a car seat but that she may be putting herself in danger of losing them if only temporarily to cps. Not saying it as a threat but what if she is pulled over by the police and they were to open a case on her. Let her know that it isn't worth the legal hassle if someone were to make this an issue. YKWIM. She may never buy into the safety aspect but the fear of big brother just might motivate her to change her stance on the issue. I hope you are able to convince her soon.