I feel kind of weird posting about this, but I've been a long-time lurker on MDC and feel this is a safe, receptive place to voice how I'm feeling. Lately I've been not really wanting to nurse my 2.5 yo son and I feel it's largely because it's starting to make me a little uncomfortable. If this had been a few years ago I would have said that I'd have no problem letting my child wean himself, no matter how long it took. Now that he's getting older I almost feel dirty still allowing him to nurse...especially when all he's doing his comfort nursing. I can't quite figure out if it's because I feel like I'm overstepping boundaries or he's overstepping mine...it's kind of confusing. I remember on another parenting forum (a mainstream one) a mom mentioned that she wouldn't let her young infant comfort nurse because it weirded her out, and now I'm doing the same thing. Sure my kid is older, but it's still the same principle. I feel guilty, dirty, weird and I'm here looking for some support and ideas on how to get through this. I'm also a sexual abuse survivor, which I'm sure is compounding the situation. Lately, whenever he nurses I can't wait for it to be over...like I want my body back or something. I used to love nursing him and a part of me still does and would really like for him to be able to nurse for as long as he wants to...but this feelings are only getting worse It seems that the older he gets, the harder it becomes. It doesn't help that most of our society thinks it's weird and disgusting to nurse your kid beyond their infancy. Anyway, excuse the scattered thoughts...this is a really strange situation for me, so please be compassionate and thoughtful in your responses.
post #1 of 19
6/26/09 at 8:22pm