DH has a conference next week - on my EDD!

[Quindin]

It is between the 3rd and the 5th. Three hours away.
The plan is that he will NOT go if I have the baby before the conference, because I can't be alone so soon postpartum with all the kids.

But, if the baby is not born before the 3rd, he will travel, but drive back home if labor starts.
I was absolutely fine with the idea.
Now that the time is coming however, I am getting very scared.
How am I supposed to know when labor is really starting with all the false alarms? What if I call him too late?

Would you ask your DH to stay? I just don't want him to miss the conference waiting for a baby that may not come then.

[rjruiz_415]

Unless you have a history of super quick labors, I would be fine with it. Just call as soon as ctx start, and I would not think it would be a problem

[fawnanddoe]

I would probably be scared too! At this point I have also had some stuff that makes it seem like "this could be it" and of course it turned out not to be, but if it was I wouldn't have even known it!

How fast were your labors with your other children? I would base it around that, and also whether or not you feel comfortable. If you don't feel comfortable with him being so far away I would just flat out tell him and let him know that you want him to stay home.

[Avani]

With my 5th birth my then husband had a court date two hours away that he could not miss or he would be arrested. The day before the hearing i started labor. My night time when he was packing to leave i told him i was in labor but it was his choice to stay or leave. I wasn't scared at all, i thought i would be but i wasn't. All the kids were sleeping and he choose to leave and i just walked around the house laboring away. Having his energy not there was actually more peaceful for me. I had planned for a midwife but the baby came first. It was fine, worked out beautifully. Because he was out of town i was alone with 5 kids after giving birth and that part sucked. I didn't have any help at all and i was very sore. But i did it, that is survival! That is only a small piece as to why that man is my ex!

I would devise a back up plan. Have alternate helpers lined up just in case. Dad's miss births sometimes and although it isn't ideal it happens. Is there any way he can cancel? You don't need to be stressed right now.

[melamama]

We just went through this with my dh. He travels a lot, and had thought he could be here from 37w + but just found out about 3 more trips he's supposed to take.

How long are your labors? My last was only 4hrs from the very beginnings of labor to birth. I am pretty concerned that this one will be shorter (each of my labor times has halved with each birth). Since there would be no way dh could get home in time if this was the case I asked him not to go.

I imagine that if your labors tend to go long and 3 hours is within your window then I wouldn't be too worried.

[lindsayjean]

I would not be okay with it because my last labor was pretty short. My husband is out of town until today (for 2 weeks) and I am 37 weeks tomorrow... so he'll be home until I give birth, but has to leave for another week starting Aug 8th- so hopefully I don't go WAY overdue because then I'd be home with a like 2 week old and a 2 y.o. bleh!!!

I'd just be nervous about not knowing when to call him I guess... what if it's a false alarm? Or what if it's super quick and he doesn't make it?

[Quindin]

DH would drop anything if I asked him to, so it is not him.
I am just torn because I know how important this conference is for his job, and would hate for him to miss it "just in case", KWIM?

My labors in hours have been 14, 8, 3 (induced), 7, and 4.

[LilMomma83]

I would probably ask him to stay, but, if I didn't I would definitely make sure I had a close friend or family member to come over and help me if needed.

[Avani]

I think it is better to ask him to stay. As important as work is, missing the birth of your baby is something that would stay with you forever.

[tracymom1]

After a 4 hour labor with your last one, I would ask him to stay. That's a little too short to play around with a 3 hour car trip.

[melamama]

Originally Posted by Quindin

My labors in hours have been 14, 8, 3 (induced), 7, and 4.

This seems a bit close. Given the times of your previous labors this one could be less.

Wondering if he has to decide, or if it could be a no that could change to yes?

[Quindin]

I know, right?
This could be much shorter...

I guess I never really worried before because my earliest baby came 5 days AFTER the EDD. That's also why it makes such a difficult decision.

It is a regional study weekend organized by the church (DH is a pastor) which happens every 2 years. He would lead a fourth of the studies, but it is also a great opportunity for him to energize our small group again. Obviously, since we are talking church here, nobody would be in the slighest upset if he stayed home with me, and everybody knows we are cutting close and that DH not being able to attend is a big possibility. Another minister could take over his classes.
Another thing is that he would also be driving 3 old ladies who would otherwise not be able to come (they have someone else to dride them back home) and I would feel so bad for them to miss it just because I am scared (they on the other hand, are more concerned about me and the baby )

I think I will take the next couple of days to try tuning into my instincts and listen to my body... This worrying is no good. Arghh! I wish I knew what the baby's schedule is!

[Ianthe]

I know how you feel.. my DH works 2 1/2 - 3 hours away on the week days, and most of the time he is in an out-of-service area for his phone. I am terrified he will miss the whole birth. My EDD is Tuesday, and he will be gone from Mon-Thurs next week.

[Quindin]

Well, as my EDD approaches and I am having more and more contractions (and stronger ones too), I began freaking out with the thought of DH not being here!

This morning I was so scared that I broke down crying even...

So as badly as I feel about asking DH to do it, I asked him to stay home.
We need to figure out what to do with getting elderly ladies, but he will probably lend our van to somebody who is going.
If not, then DH can drive them there, then drive them right back.

When I think that I probably will NOT go into labor this weekend, I feel terrible asking him to stay. Yet, I keep forgetting I have 5 kids to take care of, and lately I have been in so much pain that I need to lie down half of the anyway. How would I be able to do it for 3 days all by myself?

I feel like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulder!!
But I am also feeling guilty about asking DH to miss this conference

If only the baby was to be born this weekend, I would not feel so badly.

[aricha]

Originally Posted by Quindin

I was absolutely fine with the idea.
Now that the time is coming however, I am getting very scared.

Early in my pregnancy we knew that my step-daughter would be flying out here a week and a half before my due date. At the time I was all laid back about my husband flying out to get her and back (it's 3000 miles each way, basically 24 hours of flying if he is able to pretty much fly out and turn around to come back).

Luckily my husband was not at ALL on board with that idea and we were able to arrange for a friend who I wanted to be here for the birth to fly out with my step-daughter. Even so, they ended up having to fly into an airport 3+ hours away. I was still totally fine with that... 8-10 hours while my husband went to pick them up, no problem.

Today was the day, and I've been a wreck the last couple days, just sure that I would go into labor as soon as he was all the way to the airport. Thanksfully they are on their way home, about an hour and a half away...

So, there's no advice in there, I'm afraid, but definitely lots of sympathy for your situation!

[tracymom1]

Originally Posted by Quindin

When I think that I probably will NOT go into labor this weekend, I feel terrible asking him to stay. Yet, I keep forgetting I have 5 kids to take care of, and lately I have been in so much pain that I need to lie down half of the anyway. How would I be able to do it for 3 days all by myself?

I feel like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulder!!
But I am also feeling guilty about asking DH to miss this conference

If only the baby was to be born this weekend, I would not feel so badly.

I think you did the right thing. I have found that as this pregnancy progresses (and I am 37 - almost 38 weeks) that I am having a hard time keeping up with DS - I simply cannot imaging having 4 more to run around after! It is okay to need help - especially from DH. Even if the baby waits until after the weekend to make an appearance, just relax and spend a nice weekend with DH and the kids. Its always nice to have some family time, anyways, and you will feel better for having done so.