But I want to!

[Smalls181]

This seems to be my 3 year olds favorite phrase right now. Its driving me insane. There is no reasoning with her, either. She is doing something hurts me, and I ask her to stop. "But I want to!"

I've had to physically remove her from me in order to not be hurt, and she gets so offended. She claims that I pushed her, when I did not. But her feelings are so hurt at this time, that I didn't want her standing on my feet for instance, that there is just no reasoning with her. "But you don't push me!"

I am about to pull my hair out! Any suggestions?

[Mama_RJ]

When my oldest DS was two, he went through biting and hitting phases. I don't know how many times I heard, "But I like to hit!" or "But I like to hurt people!" I mostly ignored it the comments, removed myself from his vicinity when he started to bite or hit, and eventually he grew out of it. Plus he really didn't like me leaving him in the room alone. I would say, "I don't play with people who hurt me" and walk away. I still have to do that from time to time, but not nearly as often as when he was two. Good luck! It is very frustrating when our kids physically hurt us (and seem to enjoy it!)

[thixle]

No suggestions, but we are in a similar spot. My almost-4yo just loves to stand on my feet, climb all over me, and "push" with her feet. It's not quite kicking, but it's enough to hurt! And the reason... "But I like it!" : And then she wants me to thump her on the head?!?

[BellinghamCrunchie]

There's just no reasoning with a 3 year old. They have their own logic, which is, "if its fun for me, its fun for everyone." And they have no theory of mind (any concept that other people have their own desires or their own thoughts).

It'll pass, someday. Meanwhile, it helps sometimes to show them what they CAN do, rather than just ask them to stop.
"Let me put my shoes on so you can stand on my feet and I won't get hurt."
"Do the foot-stomping dance to show me how mad you are right now."
"It hurts when you hit me there, but we can play pat-a-cake and you can hit my hands."
"Gentle touch, like this."

[One_Girl]

When my dd tells me "but I want to" I tell her that I understand she wants to but that I do not want her doing that right now and I tell her specifically what she needs to do instead.

[BellaClaudia]

oh we had that for a long while.
I tried everything. nothing worked so
I ended up doing two fast steps:
quickly state I know, it sounds like fun but this is why you can't
and then fast forwarding to I am your mom and I won't let you
hurt yourself by doing that.
we will talk abut it later when you calm down.

it was always the case that she would not take any reasoning
unitll few minutes later so I learned not to press into going over
details while she was into doing but later when she calmed down
I went over and asked.. why was that bad idea etc..
what should we do next time.. and what is not safe ..

somehow it gets better with time but once you have phase
then you have phase and seem no way around it
so I feel like they can't help it either but go with it
so there is no use to loose mind over it.

just be calm firm and safe.

It made me cry few times too at the beginning
as it seem like my very smart kid just went on some
silly autopilot that would turn of thinking. very frustrating.
but once you embrace the fact and go with some strategy
you are good.

[Smalls181]

Thanks everybody. I appreciate your words. I struggle coming up with alternatives for her. I think I need to come up with a list of alternatives that I can look at everyday...