Originally Posted by SandraS
Why didn't you refuse the AROM and stuff? NO is an easy word!
I could be wrong, but it sounds as though you're somewhat blaming
Mom's for inteventions they didn't want. If so, I think that's wrong & very unfair.
because... It's just not that easy.
Originally Posted by SandraS
I guess I just can't wrap my head around a bunch of people physically having to force, with great effort, my legs apart and doing AROM or cervical checks.
Perhaps you don't read many birth stories? As already noted, AROM is often done without even telling the mom
let alone obtaining permission first.
I also just read a birth story from here in Baltimore of a mom who was a UC transfer. For some crazy reason when the OB on call did a VE, he wouldn't remove his hand. Then he inserted a finger into her rectum as well & left both there while she pushed - despite her screaming for him to remove them.
But putting aside those stories where "NO" is blatently ignored, um... women in labor are kinda vulnerable!!
It's hard to argue. Particularly if you must do so repeatedly. I can imagine you might just be worn down & just "Cave in." Labor takes a bit of effort & energy
to say the least!
So, I can see how a mom could lack enough energy to argue! How many times can a woman in pain lacking adequate non-phramacological pain relief methods (i.e. no bathtubs) continue to say 'no' to repeated offers of an epidural?
How long can a mom continue to say - PARTICULARLLY when they are "playing the dead baby card."
Think about it - Moms being pressured to have CEFM (To be sure baby is safe), Vacuum if pushing is going too long (& pressing on poor baby's head), ABTs for GBS (one of my CNMs gave me a lecture on that
& I didn't even say I was going to decline! Just questoined it.)
& finally, I've also heard stories of women, even in homebirth, who literally couldn't speak and articulate their needs. They just couldn't form sentences & communicate their needs. Or they could verbally speak, but somehow felt a disconnect in their ability to articulate their needs.
So, I implore you, please realize it's so much more complicated than "Just say no! You too can have a perfect natural birth in a hospital." & stop blaming the victims.
I'm not saying it's NOT possible to have a perfect natural birth in a hospital, but it takes a LOT of work - and it's much more complex than "Just say no." & even with all the right preparation, sometimes it still doesn't work out (doctors misrepresent themselves. etc.)
P.S. Personally, I was 100% mentally lucid! So *I* could have EASILY not only refused any unwanted interventions, but entered into a debate about each intervention & quoted stats!
But I think I'm probably the exception, rather than the rule - both in how lucid I was, plus I'm way
more hard-headed than the average human. So I realize it's just not as simple as "just say no."