Originally Posted by EdnaMarie
And since you'd never normally go up to a stranger and comment on her hair or whatever, this just is not an ISSUE, you know?
I do. I tell strangers this very stuff. ANd I haven't once been met with anything other than appreciation, smiles and gratitude.
|I don't see why white people feel the need to comment on my appearance.
So, as Musician Dad said, it's okay if a minority compliments you but not okay if a "white" person compliments you? That sounds a bit racist, doesn't it?
You seem kinda grumpy about being complimented.
For me, one of the main reasons why I sometimes compliment people who are of a different race than myself is precisely because they are different than me. Not different in a bad way, but different. Just as all my kids are different from one another. I can tell one child I love his smile without hurting the other kids whose eyes or hair I may love. They are DIFFERENT. I don't know where we ever got this notion that different = bad or lesser.
I was standing in line one day and a gorgeous African American lady was in front of me, with hair done up like I'd never seen before. It was stunning and yes, I did stare. I told her "I'm sorry I'm staring. Your hair is beautiful. I don't think I've ever seen a prettier hair style." And she smiled and told me that "I'd made her day." Then we talked about it, who did it, what gave her the inspiration, etc. I've also commented on the gorgeous brown eyes and long lashes of another AfricanAmerican boy, and got nothing but kindness returned to me by his mother.
I think it must be the rare person who doesn't like to hear themselves (or their children) complimented. You can bet that when a room full of Middle Easterners at a church here told me how much they loved my daughter's blonde hair and blue eyes, I wasn't the least
bit offended. PS- no one answered my question about complimenting other things - can I compliment the Indian woman wearing a gorgeous sari, or will it appear as though I am focusing too much on her minority status if I say such a thing? What about complimenting an African American family on their living room decorated in Ethiopian style? Can I not comment on that either, since I'm white?