Just a fluke? Share your experiences. - Page 3

[Munchkinmaker]

Originally Posted by nerdy mom

Thank you for all the replies. I think some people took my post the wrong way. This wasn't meant as a competition or a crunchier than thou monologue. I was / am genuinely interested to know if this was a simple coincidence or if others had noticed something similar or different. I am not a by-the-book AP or NFL mom. I don't march around like the granola police and I think it's pretty hard to actually delay development in a child. I wasn't meaning to imply that I think that people who don't parent the way I do are harming or delaying their children. I merely noticed something, mulled it over and thought I would pose the question to a broader audience. :

My 9 y.o. is Autistic, one of my twins has Autistic-like traits and my twins were premature and had a lot of prematurity linked delays... Although my oldest met all of his physical milestones freakishly early (he didn't sleep a whole lot so I guess he had a lot of time to work on these things LOL!), we had a lot of set backs in the first year because of his relentless screaming and lack of sleep. And my twins being premature, they didn't meet a lot of their milestones right on time.

So we were involved with a lot of social programs from early on. I do remember it was suggested to me to join different hospital groups by my health nurse, Dr. or developmental therapist. It's pretty typical for this to be suggested to moms with babies who are delayed or even having a just a little bit of trouble catching up in the first year or babies who are dealing with a spectrum of health or developmental issues.

Hospital groups may contain a lot of kids with some little setbacks or people who are even required to be there. The baby wearing group is made up of people who just loved to baby wear and wanted to hang out with other moms who wore their baby. I'm guessing this could be a HUGE contributor to to a lot of what you saw.

[savithny]

Fluke.

I guested at a baby group once (went with a friend). IT was very mainstream (admittedly, I live in a very crunchy place, so all the moms were nursing, etc).

And the topic of conversation? How all the babies they knew who were being slung etc were so *behind* in their development because they were carried all the time and never put down and weren't being sleep trained.

Because in the *small sample* that they were thinking of, it was *true* that the crunchier-parented babies were not developing as fast. Small sample = not scientifically accurate or appropriate for making sweeping generalizations.

(I'd also note that there is a wide range of normal for developmental schedules, and none of these kids were red-flag behind).

(I'd also point out, for those who are proud of how early their kids crawl, that people analyzing the development of "natural" babies have suggested that crawling is *not* a developmental phase that is necessary or even natural. Many hunter-gatherers do not regularly put their children down until they are almost ready to walk, and the children go through a short butt-scooting phase before beginning to toddle).

[Super~Single~Mama]

I'm in the fluke group. That said I agree with whoever it was that said that being held, and getting alot of physical and emotional attention is SO SO important for a childs development!

Example: My godmother (she's such a wonderful person, I can't get enough of her) adopted her daughter from China when she was 15months old. She was adopted from an orphanage that was grossly understaffed, and had gotten almost no attention at all during the time she was there. She couldn't even sit up on her own, or hold herself in a sitting position using her arms. By the time she was 18months she was WALKING. It was an amazing transformation. And, I must say she literally attached herself to my godmother when she met her - like, grabbed on and never let go. Even her greencard photo was taken while she was being held by my godmother b/c she SCREAMED if anyone tried to take her out of my godmothers arms

She's now a perfectly healthy 13year old girl.

[preemiemamarach]

fluke. my son was 7 weeks early, but was on-track developmentally by his chronological age until around 5-6 months when he started gettting (and staying) sick. He's been hospitalized 9 times (usually for a week or two) in the past 12 months, and another one will be coming up soon. He most likely has a metabolic disorder. He has major gross motor and speech delays, but is advanced in fine motor skills.

He is also one of the happiest, most well-adjusted children I've ever seen. He has no anxiety about hospitalizations, is playful and happy except for during painful procedures, and stuns all the doctors and nurses with how cheerful he always is. Is it because we cosleep, I wore him all the time at home (he was in a home daycare from 3-6 months), or that he got breastmilk for 12 months? I'm sure those things didn't hurt- but mostly, I think, I have a medically complex child who happened to be born with an incredibly positive disposition.

I also hope the OP wasn't assuming the moms bottlefeeding were using formula- my son couldn't nurse at all, and I got stares sometimes for giving him bottles of breastmilk in public.

[Dandelionkid]

Originally Posted by nerdymom

Thank you for all the replies. I think some people took my post the wrong way. This wasn't meant as a competition or a crunchier than thou monologue. I was / am genuinely interested to know if this was a simple coincidence or if others had noticed something similar or different. I am not a by-the-book AP or NFL mom. I don't march around like the granola police and I think it's pretty hard to actually delay development in a child. I wasn't meaning to imply that I think that people who don't parent the way I do are harming or delaying their children. I merely noticed something, mulled it over and thought I would pose the question to a broader audience. :

I totally picked up what you were putting down . Really, it would make me curious too if I saw such stark differences in development among two groups. I will vote "not fluke" because it makes me feel like I am a really great mom

[nerdymom]

Originally Posted by Munchkinmaker

My 9 y.o. is Autistic, one of my twins has Autistic-like traits and my twins were premature and had a lot of prematurity linked delays... Although my oldest met all of his physical milestones freakishly early (he didn't sleep a whole lot so I guess he had a lot of time to work on these things LOL!), we had a lot of set backs in the first year because of his relentless screaming and lack of sleep. And my twins being premature, they didn't meet a lot of their milestones right on time.

So we were involved with a lot of social programs from early on. I do remember it was suggested to me to join different hospital groups by my health nurse, Dr. or developmental therapist. It's pretty typical for this to be suggested to moms with babies who are delayed or even having a just a little bit of trouble catching up in the first year or babies who are dealing with a spectrum of health or developmental issues.

Hospital groups may contain a lot of kids with some little setbacks or people who are even required to be there. The baby wearing group is made up of people who just loved to baby wear and wanted to hang out with other moms who wore their baby. I'm guessing this could be a HUGE contributor to to a lot of what you saw.

TY, that makes a lot of sense. I do know the LC who runs the group often recommends it to women who see her for latch or supply issues, perhaps there are other forces at work also.

Originally Posted by preemiemamarach

fluke. my son was 7 weeks early, but was on-track developmentally by his chronological age until around 5-6 months when he started gettting (and staying) sick. He's been hospitalized 9 times (usually for a week or two) in the past 12 months, and another one will be coming up soon. He most likely has a metabolic disorder. He has major gross motor and speech delays, but is advanced in fine motor skills.

He is also one of the happiest, most well-adjusted children I've ever seen. He has no anxiety about hospitalizations, is playful and happy except for during painful procedures, and stuns all the doctors and nurses with how cheerful he always is. Is it because we cosleep, I wore him all the time at home (he was in a home daycare from 3-6 months), or that he got breastmilk for 12 months? I'm sure those things didn't hurt- but mostly, I think, I have a medically complex child who happened to be born with an incredibly positive disposition.

I also hope the OP wasn't assuming the moms bottlefeeding were using formula- my son couldn't nurse at all, and I got stares sometimes for giving him bottles of breastmilk in public.

No, I have a BFF who bottle fed BM because they had latch issues and it was easier for them to do so. There is a lot of discussion in the group about supplementing, formula types, and digestion/formula-related colic and bowel problems.

Thank you for all of the input. As I have mulled this over I have realized that most of the kids in the BWing group have older siblings too, maybe this is a contributing factor as well. The hospital group is specifically for new mothers of babies under 1 year.

[nerdymom]

Originally Posted by Dandelionkid

I totally picked up what you were putting down . Really, it would make me curious too if I saw such stark differences in development among two groups. I will vote "not fluke" because it makes me feel like I am a really great mom

Oh TY! I really am not a judgmental person. just infinitely curious, and slightly scientifically minded.