Am I cut out for two kids? - Page 2

[averlee]

My daughter is 26 months, and I really doubt I'll have another child. I don't think I want to go through pregnancy & childbirth ever again! I also don't see how I could maintain this level of attention, interaction, and care with two or more. I think my daughter is doing really well as an only. So, I think it is okay to decide as a mother that one is enough.

[tjjazzy]

while i didn't have PPD with my second (i did with my first), i am finding being the mother of two REALLY difficult. i should have waited until my first was in school full time to have my 2nd. HOWEVER, i find the first year to be very tough and i'm just biding my time. most people like the infant stage and maybe if you do, it will be easier for you. i'm hoping once he's older, i will find it easier. i LOVED my first son at age 1.5; what an angel! no longer a baby (not my fave stage AT ALL) and not all grown (haha now he is 3.5 and knows everything!)
my 2nd is very high maintenance (cried for the first 5 months and is very 24/7 needy, NOTHING like my first who only cried for the first 3 months and was SO easy after that) and though i've managed to form a bond with him that i didn't form with my first, i can't say i recommend it to anyone.
you just might be cut out for 2. who can say for sure? we thought we were but we were wrong.

[katiesk]

i would give it some time, if i were you and wait and see how things progress.

[*Aimee*]

I really love and enjoy having my boys spaced they way they are (22 months apart). I love it SO MUCH that I'll be having another baby when DS2 is 22-23 months old (I've previously delivered 4 weeks early with both boys). I thrive on chaos.

DS2 is a very high needs baby. He still doesn't sleep through the night and screams A LOT all day long. But he's awesome. And he's getting to be so much more fun and easier as he gets older. I wasn't sure I was ready to have another baby yet but I knew it was important to have my kids pretty close together because I was so lonely growing up (sister and I are 10 years apart). I originally wanted 4 children but have decided I'll probably only have 3. It's all about being honest with what you can do and what you think will make you happy. All of my friends are quiverfull so I feel like the big old failure for NOT being able to have 10+ kids all a year apart you know?

I don't have any free time to myself, DH works 60 hour weeks and we have no family help. So at times it really sucks but it also has brought us all very close together and I wouldn't do things any other way.

Well, except we just got a puppy (a German Shepherd) and that's pretty overwhelming but it's getting better each day. Puppy is WAY harder than baby

Just be honest with what you think truly would work for your family. Everyone is different and it's important to remember that what works for one family might not work for yours. Good luck, Mama!

[Tigerchild]

I wanted both kids close together, so we started actively TTC when DD was 4 months old. I had a miscarriage, and then conceived, but got luck of the draw and had MZ twins. DD and DSes are 17 months apart.

There are advantages to close spacing. I can't say that it seems to have affected the kids all that much. I do think though that the reason why I am longing for #4 right now is because I never really got to just be with my baby (except for with DD), and because the kids were all so little at the same time, they were more of a pack for a very long time than big sibling/little sibling.

As for if the OP is cut out for it...well, I can tell you that if you already have a lot of anxiety, having more kids is not likely to make that *decrease*. It may not increase though. I would say that if the OP is not sure, or perhaps doesn't really want to get knocked up right now but she's doing it all "for her child" then now is not the right time. I think you ideally put your readiness and willingness FIRST. A toddler, frankly, really doesn't have any sort of way to truly know or understand what having a sibling in a symbolic sense before it happens, so you're not depriving him of anything at this point. IMO. Better to wait until you feel happy and confident where you are now, so that stress does not turn you into a parent you don't want to be when you're additionally burdened with hormones and potential exhaustion and potential increased 'protect baby at all costs' instinct.

[tjjazzy]

Originally Posted by *Aimee*

All of my friends are quiverfull so I feel like the big old failure for NOT being able to have 10+ kids all a year apart you know?

quiverfull?

[columbusmomma]

Originally Posted by A&A

:


My kids are 5 years apart. They have a sibling but I got a "break" in-between.

Mine too.
I'm going thru something a little similar to how you're feeling now. DD is 23 months and we're trying to decide about TTC#3. I want to, but not sure how soon is soon enough to be ready!

[Mountaingirl79]

For me, going from 1 to 2 kids was waaaay easier than going from 0 to 1 kid.
I just felt so much more prepared, I knew what to expect and it was smoother.
That said, I didn't know if I wanted another (#3) for several years after that, I was just content with the two for awhile. I never closed that "door" though, and am glad because about a year ago I caught baby fever.

So, I guess my point is, you never know. Just follow your gut.