Bedwetting.

[merpk]

So my kids are late trainers, DS#1 toilet trained at 4, and wouldn't poop in the toilet till 5 ... and he's about to turn 6. He's had about 3 (pishy) accidents at school this year, but he's generally fine during the day.

DD insisted she would not use the toilet until she was 4 ... and she turned 4 two weeks ago, and that day toilet trained. In one day.

Okay.



DS#1 is wet most every night, so we've got him sleeping in cotton training/padded underwear with Bummis Whisper Pants over them (like nylon underwear). It's tough for him and upsets him ... but any time he's been dry in the last year he celebrates all day ...

We wake him at various times of the night to go, he's never happy about it but most of the time he goes ... and still, he'll be wet most times when he wakes in the a.m.



So DD is toilet-trained for two weeks ... and is already dry at night. She has only told me, doesn't bring it up with DS#1 (thank G-d) at this point, but that's really only a matter of time.

And I can only imagine that he'll be devastated.




Have read and heard so much about boys sometimes having difficulty with bedwetting (and anyone with a Michael Landon obsession knows that it's one of those sad facts of life for many, mostly boys ... ) and know to be patient with DS#1, etc., etc. ... he really wants to be dry as much as we want him to, so we know it's harder for him to deal with than for us. The Whisper Pants are important, because we're all in the family bed, and a wet bed every night is just not something we can deal with ... if the bed's wet, we're all wet, you know?



So ... any suggestions on how to deal with the inevitable conflagration? And how to help DS#1's self-esteem through his little sister being night-trained before him?

[TiredX2]

I don't have any real advice, sorry.

BUT, DD is 5 and her best friend went through this. Both DD & her BF still wear "pull-ups" at night (cloth for DD, though) and then her BFs little sister (jsut turned 3) potty trained and went night dry all at once. Her mom called all of her friends finding out other 4/5 year olds who still weren't night dry and just told her DD that. Do you think you could do that or it would help? You could just tell DS that he gets to be first in most things *and* girls usually train earlier and basically thats just the way it is.

Good luck,
Kay

[emmaline]

I have a book called "how you can be boss of the bladder" by janet hall, a clinical psychologist

it has a section for kids with full explanantion of how the bladder works and reasons why some kids are wet at night, I have been going thru some of this info with my 6 yo ds so he knows why it's happening for him, it helps when he wonders why none of his friends wear nappies at night - does yr ds understand this stuff? it might help him deal with the dry sib situation.

btw she says waking kids at night to toilet them doesn't help because the bladder doesn't get a chance to stretch enough to contain a nights worth of pee

what I don't get is how my ds can make SO MUCH pee - last night the nappy was soaked and the bed was soaked by 3 am, he woke up and did more pee in the toilet then went back to bed with another pullup and it's wet too this morning, sorry T but it's on my mind this morning

[merpk]

emmaline, it's not off-topic at all. Am hoping to get other's experiences with bedwetting kids ...

[merpk]

Was going to just type "bump" because I don't want this thread to disappear ... but tonight had a new one:

Got DS#1 out of bed to go to the bathroom, he got to the toilet with his pj's and underwear down, and then just started crying ... I'm guessing it's a combination of because the floor tiles were so cold and because he had been in a pretty deep sleep ... and then wouldn't pish. And I know he had to as he drank a decent-sized cup of water not-too-long before bedtime ... but he wouldn't go. "No, I don't want to."

Don't think it's a pain issue or UTI or anything like that. Just think he didn't want to do it and refused and that's it.



Am seriously rethinking this wake-him-up-to-pish thing, as emmaline suggested ...









Any other suggestions?
Experiences?




Anyone?

[mamaduck]

Amy -- here is our story:

My 3 yo toilet trained in the fall and almost immediately was staying dry all night. I kept him in a diaper too long at night, trying to protect my older child from the devastation I knew he would feel -- since he was still wetting the bed *every single night* at this point -- age 7. One night, I just couldn't justify forcing little guy into a diaper anymore.

I struggled between keeping it quiet and celebrating the younger one's rite of passage. Opted for somewhere in the middle -- making it known and expressing pleasure, but not going overboard about it.

My 7 yo didn't say much. Next night he decided he wasn't gonna wear his pull up to bed anymore. He was dry for 2 nights, and very tired. Wasted. It was clear he wasn't sleeping well. The next 3 nights he soaked his sheets, and then asked for his pull ups back. He was sad. Didn't want to talk about it.

At a dr.'s apt -- the pediatrician told him that if he took a survey in his 2nd grade class -- he would find that more than 5 of the 20 kids still wet the bed. She assured him that it was common, just that people kept it private. That made him feel better.

A month later, he noticed that a single pull-up was lasting a week or so. Soon, we were throwing them away because they wore out, not because they were wet! He was excited. He finally decided to ditch the pull-up all together, and his underpants have stayed dry everynight for about 2 months now!!! He has no idea what made the difference. We didn't change anything about his routine.

But now we have two dry kids, 24/7. Life is so much more simple!

[EFmom]

At nearly 6, my dd wet a diaper every single night of her life. It mattered not at all if we woke her up to use the bathroom--she still wet. It was really starting to bug her. She and dh go on camping trips with the Y-Guides and she was very concerned that others would find out there and in general. I had been thinking about buying one of those bed wetting alarms with a sensor that clips onto the child's underwear. I mentioned it to her, and she didn't stop nagging me to get it from the minute she heard about it.

I initially had reservations, but decided to give it a try. This thing performed a miracle. She only ended up setting it off a handful of times and learned very quickly how to wake herself up. We do not do the family bed, so one of us slept on her floor for the first couple of weeks because if it did go off, she wouldn't always wake. Within a month, her problem was gone.

The weird thing is that now she doesn't even need to wake up most nights, but I guess her body has learned to make more of that hormone that reduces urine output at night. I understand that's common with kids who use this alarm system.

We explained it to her that her brain and her bladder needed to learn how to talk to each other when she was asleep. We used the analogy of her bladder filling up like a water balloon and needing to be emptied. That seemed to make sense to her.

My sister had a similar situation with her six year old son, who also wet every single night. After hearing my story, she bought one for her son, and he too was over the bed wetting in a matter of months.

[emmaline]

I am interested to read about those alarms, I can't figure out how they work:

two of my nephews wet almost till their teens and the idea of wet beds or pullups till then is daunting but the alarm sounds like some whitecoated dude's rat experiment gone crazy

EFmom I guess if my ds was like yr dd and nagged me to get one I would try it....

amy the other thing janet Hall says about "wake and take" (as she calls it) is that the bladder muscle's communication with the brain is not what has woken the child so the child is not learning to wake up when the bladder is full

and that is what I don't get about the alarm - it's an external thing waking the child, how does that translate into their own internal workings?

hmmm

[TiredX2]

Merpk---

Just wanted to mention:

DD had her 5 year well child check up today (no more doctors til she is 8!!!) and I asked the dr about night wetting. Accd to her, I shouldn't worry until she is 12! (or if she starts pooping at night!).

Just wanted to mention, as a pp did, that it is apparently much more common than one would think.

Kay

[EFmom]

I was skeptical of these alarms, too. I wouldn't have pushed it. It was my daughter who was starting to be upset by the bedwetting and that did bother me, so I did a little research. I'm a reference librarian, so I looked at the medical/biological literature, and these things work for a lot of kids, although not all. Some kids will have initial success, and then relapse after a few months, although often if you repeat the alarm wearing again, the problem will disappear for good.

Dr. Sears himself (and I'm personally not especially a disciple) even talks about them on his site, http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/t071200.asp see step 7. I bought the Malem at http://www.bedwettingstore.com/bedwetting-alarm.htm where there is some additional info on how these things work.

All in all, even if it didn't work, it was not particularly intrusive and it wasn't terribly expensive (not free though), and I would certainly give it a try in a heartbeat for dd's little sister should she have the same issue.

I have no agenda with these things. If the sound of it turns you off, don't do it. It just was totally wonderful for us. Dd was soooo happy to be dry for her campouts!

[emmaline]

thanks for the links EFmom, I will do some more reading. I'm gald things worked out for yr dd

[merpk]

... by emmaline
... the alarm sounds like some whitecoated dude's rat experiment gone crazy ... and that is what I don't get about the alarm - it's an external thing waking the child, how does that translate into their own internal workings?

My own thoughts precisely whenever I hear about the alarm thing ...

But will read into it further, now, too ...

[robin4kids]

I just had to respond, because our family has been struggling with a bedwetter for sooo long! My first son was trained in two days and was dry almost right away. He was trained around 3. With my second son I started training him at almost 3. I tried every training suggestion I could find. (Stickers, naked from the waist down, underware, no underware.) Nothing worked. He was for lack of a better word stubborn. He would pee where ever he was at the time. He just did not care. Finally he started to stay dry almost every day. But he still would have at least one accident a day. He could make it through a full day of school dry, but then would have an accident at home. I can see when he has to go, because he will do this little dance. When I tell him to go to the bathroom, he will say no, then have an accident. I don't make a big deal about this. I just tell him to go change. It just makes me mad that he refuses to go when I remind him. But I keep this thought to myself.

So I have not even mentioned the night. He wears Goodnights to bed and they are wet 99% of the time. I used to get him up at 12 to go pee, but then he would still be wet in the morning. I just don't understand how such a small 6 year old boy can produce so much pee. His sister is 3 and was dry all day and night by the time she 2 1/2. This was very hard for my son. He would refuse to put on his Goodnight. The thing is...he would sleep all night long in a wet bed if I allowed him. He will not wake up. Personally I think that his bladder is the size of a pea and he just needs to grow into it, but it is soo frustrating.

Robin

Mom of Kyle 8, Noah 6, June 3, Ryan 1

[merpk]

Yeah, Robin, my DS#1 also will just sleep through the night in his soaked training pants ... and even the nylon covers don't keep his pajamas dry ...

He's been upset the last few days in the morning. I think he is noticing DD's running to the bathroom when she gets up (yes, she's still dry) ... which isn't helping. Have been trying to tell him that it's okay, that it's "normal" ... but it's not helping.

He's got a doctor's appointment in a few weeks, maybe that'll be the time for the discussion ... if she'll talk to him about it.

:sigh

[merpk]

So just had a brief argument with DH ... I went in to get DS#1 to go to the bathroom and change his PJ's (he was wet, of course) and DS asked for some water, he's whimpering that he's thirsty. So I get him some. Now, not a whole heckuva lot, just the bottom of the cup, really ... but DH is all bent out of shape that he shouldn't be drinking at all in the night because of the bedwetting.





I mean, the kid's thirsty. When someone's thirsty, you give them a drink; you don't say, "Oh, well, you might have to pee later so don't drink anything." You know?



Men.



Or maybe I should just be saying ...



DH



Boy can he make me mad.












Or am I wrong?

[mamabeard]

men./dh. is the correct answer..

i don't think depriving him of water is going to help the situation..


i have no great advice, just insomnia.. so i clicked on this thread. i was toilet trained at 2 and wet the bed nightly until i was 8. had a few months at 3 where i didn't, but started again for some reason. i can't remember how/why i stopped when i was eight either. sorry..


good luck! my son turned 4 a month ago and shows absolutely zero interest in using the potty.. so count your blessings!

[robin4kids]

I don't think you are wrong. I would not give him too much, but a little is ok. After all it gets really dry this time of year. My DS just got pushed ahead two reading groups, he is doing so well, but just the other night wet through his goodnight! It is so frustrating!
Hey we should do our own study to see how many characteristics our children have in common. My son is a very deep sleeper. He is very determined and likes to do art and build. He will put a lot of time into building or making whatever he is involved in. He tends to get involved in a project and shut out everything else that is going on around him...even going to the bathroom. So I guess you can say that once he goes to sleep he puts all his efforts into sleeping and ignores his need to pee.

Anyone else want to take part in our own little study. It may help us understand our children better.

Robin

[ramblinrose]

My ds age 6 also uses a bedwetting alarm. He started in the summer and it has helped immensely. He is dry most nights now. He wears the alarm just every 3rd night now. (you taper off use as they stay dry). He was so happy to be out of pull-ups!!

[Oh the Irony]

bump