Pet loss and the preschooler

[Masel]

Yesterday, DH and I took our cat Little Joe to the vet for the last time. She had a tumor that was growing rapidly and well. Her time had come. She was 18. I'm full of pregnancy hormone fueled grief and for DH this was his first real pet loss. This cat adored him. I've never seen him cry like this.

Our daughter is 3.5. We left her at home with my sister while we took care of this. Her first words when we came home was "Where's Little Joe?" We tried to explain in age appropriate language but a little while later she asked "When is Joey coming home?"

DD seemed aggressively cheerful last night like she was trying to make up for our sadness. I think she'll be okay but I know how her little mind works. I'm afraid she'll associate sickness with dying. Any suggestions for dealing with this?

[rainsmom]

we lost our cat (brain tumor) then our dog a year later (kidney disease) when my dd was 3 - 4.

There is a wonderful book called CAT HEAVEN that I highly recommend. There is also a DOG HEAVEN as well. We also referred to her death as "going over the rainbow", referring to the "Rainbow Bridge" site: http://rainbowsbridge.com/


sorry for your loss. I hope you find these book recs helpful........

[mamallama]

I am sorry for your loss.

I lost two elderly dogs and a terminally ill cat (fiv) when my girls were between 2-8.

I told them that our pets had lived long lives, but they were at the end of their lives, and it was time for them to die.

My older child asked why we took them to the vet when it was time for them to die. I said the vet gave them medicine to first help them relax and not be scared, and then he gave them another medicine to make their hearts stop working, and then they died.

I explained that because they were dead, we were not going to see them again. When a person or an animal dies, we give their bodies back to the earth, and their spirits live on in our hearts. We have our memories of them, and we can talk about the good times we had and how much we love them whenever we want, but we won't see them again.

I'm sorry. I know how hard it is to find the words when you're grieving too.

[rainsmom]

Sylvia Browne's son also wrote a book about our pets on the other side, and how we DO see them, when we pass over. That they are the first to greet us. heres the book:

http://www.amazon.com/Animals-Other-...6502587&sr=8-3



I believe this is true, and it has helped me in the grieving process.

[foreverinbluejeans]

Its too late now but I think it helps to let the child see the animal's body after it is dead. Not while it is dying - that is too hard. Or a picture of the animal's dead body. Explain that people and animals can get so old, or so sick, or so hurt that their bodies can't live any more.

I don't think we should tell children stories in an attempt to make it easier. I'm a lot like Bones on the TV show, if you watch the show you would understand what I mean.