4 yr old ignoring me

[beebalmmama]

Well ds is actually about to turn 4 and he is hitting another behavior milestone. I seem to recall this happening about a month or two before his
3rd birthday as well.
He is taking to the habit of ignoring dh and I when he doesn't want to do what we're asking. This is mainly happening at night around toothbrushing and pajamas. We're getting to bed much earlier with me being pg and exhausted. But still he outright ignores us and throws occasional tantrums. I have lost it several times. With the pg I am super exhausted at that time and lose all my patience. I know not an excuse but I've yelled at him to listen, which certainly gets his attention but also makes him cry. We cuddle and I apologize, but I certainly don't feel good about it and I know he doesn't either. Dh will totally take care of some of the night time stuff, but ds occasionally won't let him and only wants me.

[LuxPerpetua]

I only have a 3.5 year old so I don't know if this advice will be helpful. I'm big into playful parenting. We turn teeth brushing into games every night (we pretend we're washing cars, planting seeds, looking for animals, etc.). Perhaps you could pretend that you're putting on his Superman suit (pj's) and are off to battle a swarm of silly bees that need special honey potion to make them go back to their hive (brushing teeth), or something else silly. I've found that if I say, "let's go brush," dd will resist, but if I make it into a game, she's all for it. I don't know if this is different at age 4 but I know for certain that sometimes dd is so busy thinking about something that she literally does not hear what I say. I usually try and wait a few minutes and then say it again. I hope someone else will have better advice, but I thought I'd offer something.

[foreverinbluejeans]

I'm into lazy parenting. My leg was paralized when my 3rd son was born and my husband filed for divorce the next day. I had an 8 year old, 5 year old, and newborn and couldn't walk.

Brushing teeth would come after eating and not before bed. Eight was quiet time. If you weren't quiet you went to bed. When the baby weaned at 3 he had to go to bed if it was dark and he was bothering anyone. He only did that a couple of times and realized he didn't want to go to bed alone and would fall asleep in the living room.

I suggest brushing teeth and pjs after dinner rather than before bed.

[Sasharna]

Originally Posted by foreverinbluejeans

I suggest brushing teeth and pjs after dinner rather than before bed.

Thanks for this reminder. Our routine has been going poorly lately and after reading this I realized why!

[BellaClaudia]

My DD 4 tends to do that if she wants to avoid doing what
she is not ready to do..
so quitting any activies before we go out or to bed sometimes
will do that..

what I learn that giving her heads up and letting her
fihins what she is doing helps..

for instance.. I say.. DD.. we are going out in 5 minutes (time
still does not mean much to her but she understand the concept
of the sequnces)..

and I see you are playing with doll x.. so I will let you finish
and then we are going to get redy.


It works much better then my previous approach.. sort off:
okay lets put our toys away and start preparing for bed..

that was just much more difficult and never had any response if any..

and now it is better because she knows and has time to finish her routines and it seem more respectful from my side and she respects me therefore too.