I, too had an unwanted ceserean. I completely understand the feeling that it is surgical extraction and not birth. Healing has been and still is a journey for me. So I understand the road you're on.
I don't know the circumstances surrounding your birth, but for me, what
helped was to give myslef credit for everything I had contributed to my baby's birth. I grew my baby, I nourished him with healthful food, I did my best to prepare mentally and physically for his birth. I labored at home for 25 hours, and I was STRONG in labor, I chose to transfer because I new that I needed more help in birthing my baby. I chose to have a spinal and pitocin because I believed it would give my baby the best chance for a vaginal birth considering the circumstances. After 31 hours total of labor, I chose to have a ceserean because I knew I was exhausted and that my baby was exhausted and he needed to be born so that I could hold him and nurture him. After the ceserean, I nursed my baby and fought for what I new in my heart to be best for his health. I did ALL of those things and ALL of things are part of my birth process. The surgery itself was 20 minutes of all of that. I gave 40 weeks, 3 days, and 31 hours of labor to the birth of my baby. When I was able to really credit myself for all of that, I came to a place where I was able to say, you bet I gave birth, I just needed some help in the home stretch, and I'm okay with that.
I don't know if any of that is helpful to you or not, but in my experience I had to rephrase what I was telling myself about the birth of my son. I had to do it for my own sanity. I NEEDED to give myself that credit. And it has really helped me to come to a sense of peace. I have learned a lot of lessons that I otherwise would not have learned, and I am grateful for those lessons. Reframing my birth in this way does not make me glad I had a ceserean. It does not make me trust birth. And it does not make me trust my body. But it does help me to trust myself and to see myself as a capable woman and a capable mother because I know that I can respond to unwanted situations with strength and I can do what's best for myself and my baby even in situations that aren't ideal.