Thank You

[mischievium]

I'm sorry it has taken me so long to come back and say thank you. It's really hard for me to venture back into this forum. I waited so long to be in a DDC and I am, of course, curious about how everyone is doing and what they're cute babies look like. It's so hard to be so happy for you and so sad for myself and my son at the same time. Anyway, onto the .

Thank you *so much* for the charm/pendant with Soren's name engraved on it and for making a donation to the Stillbirth Alliance in Soren's name. I was (and am) very touched that you all did that for me. JenMidwife, thank you for taking the lead on that, you're awesome . Thank you to everyone who took time to write and send cards, I read every word you wrote. Unfortunately, I picked up my mail on the way out and started reading the cards (and crying) while sitting in my car parked on the street in front of my house and now I'm sure my neighbors think I'm nuts (it might be possible that they already thought that, though ). And thank you to bodhitree for collecting all of the cards and sending to me, and for the CD (that is one of my favorite songs). It means a lot to me that you all care and took the time to do something to let me know it and to remember my son, so thank you.

[MI_Dawn]

Much love to you, mama. :

This group of women is just amazing, holding us both the way they have, our sorrow in the midst of their joy. I wear my necklace every day. In fact, I had to have a test today where they had to hook me up to an EKG and I refused to remove it. (I'm fine, I'm sure it's just anxiety attacks, but the doc wants to rule everything out).

I think of you and Soren so much. Still walking beside you on this journey... hoping there's some light at the end of the tunnel.

[JenMidwife]

wow, I haven't been on MDC in over a month & logged on right just *just* to stalk you two & see how you are doing. I still think of you both every day. I know that 3 months has passed since you lost your beautiful boys. I know you think of them every minute of every day. I know some of those minutes hurt just as much as the minutes when you said goodbye to your babies. But I hope that you are also having some good times too, feeling the warth of the sun on your head or catching a cool breeze, having a laugh with a girl friend, sharing a moment w/ your dh.

Wishing you both love & peace.

[Lindsay1234]

You are so SO welcome. Im glad you came on here, I was JUST thinking baout you. Thank you so much for having the strength to read our letters and come on the DDC!! I know Im not the only one that misses you on here.

[mischievium]

Originally Posted by MI_Dawn

Much love to you, mama. :
...

I think of you and Soren so much. Still walking beside you on this journey... hoping there's some light at the end of the tunnel.

Right back at you, Dawn. I didn't know about the test, I hope everything comes back okay .

Originally Posted by JenMidwife

wow, I haven't been on MDC in over a month & logged on right just *just* to stalk you two & see how you are doing. I still think of you both every day. I know that 3 months has passed since you lost your beautiful boys. I know you think of them every minute of every day. I know some of those minutes hurt just as much as the minutes when you said goodbye to your babies. But I hope that you are also having some good times too, feeling the warth of the sun on your head or catching a cool breeze, having a laugh with a girl friend, sharing a moment w/ your dh.

Wishing you both love & peace.

It ebbs and flows, Jen. I'm sure you know how it goes. You have several good days, then a bad one. Or one good day, with 20minutes of sadness/ crying. The further you get out from the death, the easier daily living seems to become in some ways, if only because you get past all the firsts (the first time you went to X since the baby died, the first time you have to explain to the neighbors that the baby died, etc.).

Originally Posted by Lindsay1234

You are so SO welcome. Im glad you came on here, I was JUST thinking baout you. Thank you so much for having the strength to read our letters and come on the DDC!! I know Im not the only one that misses you on here.

Thanks, Lindsay. I did check out your thread and your beautiful and HUGE! baby girl. : that she gets through stent placement okay and comes home soon.

[ShineliketheSon]

I'm so glad you found the strength to come back on here even if just breifly! I think of you daily...I have been emotionally impacted by knowing you and Dawn, I write about it in my blog(though not sure it's something you'd want to read as my emotions may seem overexaggerated when compared to what your going through). Soren and William will always be held in my heart. I checked up on you at the birth loss forum when you didn't return here, I'm so glad that you are staying connected somewhere. We obviously miss you but can see how hard it would be. I also followed your husbands blog and yours the parts that are open to the public. I'm hoping you are finding answers and are able to move into the light of the next chapter of your life whatever that may be, carrying Soren in your heart always...

I wasn't sure if you had read the poem I had wrote for our DDC...There will always be love for you here in this place in cyberspace...even when our DDC is archived, our memories live on :

[MelW]

Thank you for checking in, mischevium. I'm often thinking of you and of Soren.

[bodhitree]

You're welcome, sweetie. (And you too, Dawn! Sorry I never responded to your PM, I really meant to. ) My thoughts and prayers are with both of you and your families.

[MI_Dawn]

Jen - I have to admit, since we've started actively TTC again, the world seems a little brighter.

Lindsey - I can't WAIT for your girl to come home! (and I know you can't either)

Shine - your poem made me cry. I wish we were holding them, too...

Bodhi - no worries, mama. Life with a newborn is nothing if not busy and hectic!

Mischevium - still waiting for official test results, but they said they'd call my doc right away if they saw anything, and I never got a call, so I'm pretty sure it is what I thought it was - anxiety.

[wobblykate]

xoxo. I also think of you and Soren daily and fully understood why you've been off the thread. Love to you.

[mischievium]

Originally Posted by ShineliketheSon

I'm so glad you found the strength to come back on here even if just breifly! I think of you daily...I have been emotionally impacted by knowing you and Dawn, I write about it in my blog(though not sure it's something you'd want to read as my emotions may seem overexaggerated when compared to what your going through). Soren and William will always be held in my heart. I checked up on you at the birth loss forum when you didn't return here, I'm so glad that you are staying connected somewhere. We obviously miss you but can see how hard it would be. I also followed your husbands blog and yours the parts that are open to the public. I'm hoping you are finding answers and are able to move into the light of the next chapter of your life whatever that may be, carrying Soren in your heart always...

I wasn't sure if you had read the poem I had wrote for our DDC...There will always be love for you here in this place in cyberspace...even when our DDC is archived, our memories live on :

You know, when I worked as a NICU nurse, I found myself drawn to loss blogs and would always read the stories of MDC mamas who had stillbirths. I think it was my way of trying to process the losses I would see/ experience at work. Of course my loss as a nurse was nothing compared to what the parents experienced (I wish I could say that less authoritatively), but it is natural to be touched by the loss of life. Some people are more effected than others . Thank you for the poem (and the love). If you want to read the protected content on my blog, PM and I'll PM you with instructions.

Originally Posted by MelW

Thank you for checking in, mischevium. I'm often thinking of you and of Soren.

Originally Posted by bodhitree

You're welcome, sweetie. (And you too, Dawn! Sorry I never responded to your PM, I really meant to. ) My thoughts and prayers are with both of you and your families.

Originally Posted by wobblykate

xoxo. I also think of you and Soren daily and fully understood why you've been off the thread. Love to you.

Thanks for the love, Mel, bodhitree, and Kate .

[ShineliketheSon]

PMed you.