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Anyone let their toddler run around in stores? - Page 8

post #141 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by KirstenMary View Post
And while I agree that we take calculated risks every day, we need to weigh the benefits to the risks, and frankly, I see no benefit in letting my two daughters shop an aisle away from me where I can neither see nor hear them. That is not is my comfort zone and as far as I am concerned, there is no benefit that would outweigh any risk.
And yet I DO see the benefit of letting them have some safe independence and freedom to be a child, exploring on their own, in our safe world. Since the risk or someone harming them is virtually non-existant, it's one I'm willing to take.

We will just have to agree to disagree, because it is the way that my family chooses to live in virtually every aspect of our lives (allowing our children MANY freedoms). And we'll never change, and we'll be just fine.

ETA: I'm only addressing the "danger" subject. I would never tolerate my children running and screaming and putting things in carts. I have been fortunate that by about the age of 4 all of my older ones are quite well behaved in stores, are calm and quiet, don't interfere with other people (other than to say a friendly wonderful HI!!!), and won't sabotage or damage anything. If that were not the case, they would be safely ensconced in the cart or at home with daddy.
post #142 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by suebee79 View Post
Ok, let me get this straight. The lady who dropped the pickles was just not taught as a toddler how to behave in the store? Really?
post #143 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by octobermom View Post
There will be and too a point there has been the day where I trust my child to have enough skills that I both pray danger wont come her way and that she will know how to react if it does. I don't live in fear and I'm aware accidents can happen no matter what. WHen my DD was three she was playing ball with DH in the front grassy area of our apartment she went to pick up the ball and a man grabbed her. He let go when a bunch of people yelled at him and it turned out he had some mental issues... but it was a split second where we realized not only could it have gone much worse but at 3 and for our verbal delayed and stranger trusting DD she saw NO danger in this... Now am I saying its horrible to allow your kids in diffrent issles? nope I also see you have older kids so you have several sets of eyes. I alos wont live in fear but I wont just assume nothing could eaither.

Deanna
It's not just strangers either. I had a mentally unstable uncle who for a while when we were kids thought we were his that he had with an ex-girlfriend. We were not allowed to play in the front yard for a while because my parents were worried that he would drive up and take us. After all, why would we think twice about leaving with our uncle? This is the same man who tried to run down my grandfather with his truck when he was angry one day. We didn't understand until we were older just how unstable he was and thus how dangerous he was.

And for those who think that the only reason (why I don't know since I don't recall reading a post that gave that impression) I don't let my kids run, wander or leave my side in a store is because I'm worried for their safety you should really go back and re-read both what I and others have said. Yes, I know that kids get hurt, no matter how careful you are. My oldest's broken arm/elbow at just shy of 3 because he hit the coffee table wrong while horsing around with dad and my youngest's current lump on his forehead from loosing his balance, and the subsequent meeting with the fireplace hearth, are evidence of that along with many other bumps and bruises. I am also worried about the elderly and unstable on their feet people with slower reaction times that are in the stores at the same time we are. Why should I expect them to be able to avoid my child who suddenly appears out of nowhere? Especially since both of them are pretty good at wandering around with little to no clue about their surroundings at times.

I also wouldn't find it cute if a strange child came up to me and started putting random things in my cart, especially if he/she snuck it in while I wasn't looking and I ended up paying for it before realizing it. No thank you. When I go to a store, either with or without kids, I am interested in getting what I need, checking out what new stuff they have and leaving. I am not interested in avoiding your child with my cart or anything of that nature. Playgrounds and other outdoor areas are for running and exploring, not stores. Though I do think that malls are an exception, not the stores themselves but the large hallways that connect them.
post #144 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by kay4 View Post
She never gave me a hard time. It was only recently that she started being uncomfortable (as in her legs hurting) when she sat in the cart, so she walks beside now. She does still ride in the 'spaceship' and 'car' ones
That's great for you. I wish all kids were like that. Mine wanted down when she was 18 months. She thought of that herself. She can scream for hours, and doesn't distract easily.
post #145 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by suebee79 View Post
Ok, let me get this straight. The lady who dropped the pickles was just not taught as a toddler how to behave in the store? Really?
I think it's in the same vein as the person who gabbles loudly on their cell phone on the bus/airplane, the man who wears his baseball cap in a restaurant, the person who doesn't open doors for others or say "thank you" or "excuse me." These are all behaviors that are taught, and one assumes by parents.

I don't think anyone teaches their child to not drop pickle jars, but I do think they teach that you aren't supposed to touch things unless you're going to buy them, that if you move them you put them back, etc. It all comes down to consideration, IMO, and that's something parents are supposed to teach their children, so we can all live in a pleasant, civil world.
post #146 of 182
We let DD run around with DH. She loves it. He loves it. I'm happy because it tires her out. Everyone has a good time. I have never noticed any shoppers becoming irate or annoyed, usually everyone smiles and thinks DD is cute.

But the store isn't packed either as we shop off hours.

DH is with her the whole time and focused solely on her so I can't see how that would not be an effective precaution.

V
post #147 of 182
No way do I let my DDs run amok to explore. The world is not a private schoolyard and exploration playground for them. For me it's about other people - the shoppers, the storekeepers, the staff. I think it's a crummy way to teach children respect for other people's property and social restraint.

To be honest, some of the stories of littles 'helping' or shrieking and running around make my hair stand on end. I don't think it's cute. Not when I'm tired and in a hurry. I'm also one of those terrible people who rarely find strange kids endearing (especially when they're being indulged beyond personal space and social boundarie). Ugh.
post #148 of 182
Working in retail, I have a general problem with people who act disrespectfully - be they big people or little people. But... I rarely see big people running up and down my aisles, climbing my metros or endcaps, climbing or sitting on my floor stacks.

Generally speaking, big people who are irresponsible/disrespectful only cause my staff and I time - mostly cleaning up random messes (spilled food, misplaced items). Little people who are irresponsible/disrespectful contribute to those, too, but they also cause my other customers discomfort. Kids who treat my store as a playground... are a danger to my other customers as well as themselves AND my staff. They have a greater tendency to damage my stock - even if it's "just" the packaging that's crushed, torn, dirty. People have a tendency to not want to buy merchandise that's got damaged packaging - not for our full retail price. If I discount it - it comes out of MY bottom line.

And if I say something to the kid(s)? 9 times out of 10, the parent will take issue with me for correcting their child.

So I will thank the parents here who keep their little people close and supervised.
post #149 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cascadian View Post
The world is not a private schoolyard and exploration playground for them.
That's right. It's a PUBLIC schoolyard and exploration playground for them.

And you know what? Sometimes I spend time browsing the books' aisle and I'm NEVER GOING TO BUY ONE, I comb my hair in the dressing room (and nurse there), ask the wine section staff theoretical questions even after I've already chosen my wine, and sometimes just stop in Target to see what they have even if I didn't bring my credit card.

I don't think they mind, as neither my daughter nor I ever leave stuff just wherever, break anything, or run into old ladies and knock them over.

But then... we don't do that at the Y, or the playground, either!!!
post #150 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdnaMarie View Post
That's right. It's a PUBLIC schoolyard and exploration playground for them.

And you know what? Sometimes I spend time browsing the books' aisle and I'm NEVER GOING TO BUY ONE, I comb my hair in the dressing room (and nurse there), ask the wine section staff theoretical questions even after I've already chosen my wine, and sometimes just stop in Target to see what they have even if I didn't bring my credit card.

I don't think they mind, as neither my daughter nor I ever leave stuff just wherever, break anything, or run into old ladies and knock them over.

But then... we don't do that at the Y, or the playground, either!!!
Totally confused at your examples. Everything you mentioned was an appropriate use of public space, as per unspoken societal norms. Most normal, sane people respect those societal norms and adhere to them somewhat.

OTOH if you ran around bumping into people, shrieking and arms flailing, making messes, annoyances and nusiances, I hardly think anyone would have to throw a forced grin your way and pretend out loud that it's cute. Most would think you were on drugs or were mentally incapacitated and had to be restrained somehow. Or arrested.

Oh right. They're kids. Social rules don't apply for prince/ss.
post #151 of 182
heck yeah. as long as i can see her.
post #152 of 182
No way would I let my toddler run around in stores? Huh?

It's not even a safety issue to me but rather one of consideration of other people in the store as well as allowing my child to think it's ok to do so.
post #153 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by kay4 View Post
She never gave me a hard time. It was only recently that she started being uncomfortable (as in her legs hurting) when she sat in the cart, so she walks beside now. She does still ride in the 'spaceship' and 'car' ones
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdnaMarie View Post
That's great for you. I wish all kids were like that. Mine wanted down when she was 18 months. She thought of that herself. She can scream for hours, and doesn't distract easily.
YK, another thing I shoul dhave added is she is my youngest...my older 3 were out and walking by 3 simply because the next one had come along. (my 2nd held on till about 4 though lol) With Laura her age really snuck up on me so for ME at least that played a part. When she made the comment that her legs hurt it took me a second to think back on the other 3 and I was WOW she's 5 now!!! LOL. So believe me, it wasn't something i forced on her, just reg routine. We went to the store, I put her in the cart.

About your 18 mo. My first daughter was like that. She was a wild woman!!! LOL. Why sit in a stroller or cart when you can RUN!!! was her motto I think. My second LOVED the stroller and although she was 3 1/2 when #3 came along I had to get a double stroller because she still loved to ride.
post #154 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cascadian View Post
Totally confused at your examples. Everything you mentioned was an appropriate use of public space, as per unspoken societal norms. Most normal, sane people respect those societal norms and adhere to them somewhat.

OTOH if you ran around bumping into people, shrieking and arms flailing, making messes, annoyances and nusiances, I hardly think anyone would have to throw a forced grin your way and pretend out loud that it's cute. Most would think you were on drugs or were mentally incapacitated and had to be restrained somehow. Or arrested.

Oh right. They're kids. Social rules don't apply for prince/ss.
Er, my child doesn't do those things at the Y, or at the park, or anywhere, really, much less the supermarket. Messes? Sometimes at home, but really, it's not like we have fingerpaints out or chili in a bowl at the supermarket (or even the YMCA).

Sure, she might run off occasionally, but she does it less often if she has time to explore. So I let her have that time when I can.

My kid is not a monster or a maniac. Letting her explore does not equal letting her assault strangers.

If your child runs around like a wild maniac every time you let her down in the supermarket, take note: you have WAY bigger problems than would be solved merely by putting her in the cart.

Oh, and it's safer for kids now than it was since the 70s, so the whole child-abduction argument doesn't phase me. Let her alone for a long time? No. But never let her out of my sight until she's old enough to use mace? No, not that, either.
post #155 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by erinsmama View Post
Another concern I have is that, I feel she needs to learn how to follow me around the store & not the other way around. KWIM? How do I teach her this, or is there some point when she will understand this & actually follow me.

I'm thinking sometime when she wants out of the cart with both of us there, that we should use that as the opportunity to show her that she has to stay close, or put her back in the cart. It may take a while for her to learn & there may be tantrums involved, but do you think that is a good plan? Or do you think she's too young to understand that at this point? Tell me what you think!
I think this is something that occurs as they age. For me and my children, 19 months was too young for that lesson, but every family is different.

Both of my kids began sticking fairly close by without reminders between seven and eight years. They were let out of the carts prior to that, but initially with very strict parameters such as holding on to some part of the cart, or whatever, and requiring vigilance and lots of reminders to stay close. DD was a hider and has only recently given this behavior up as an eight year old. DS is now ten and he is given more free rein and will often be in a nearby aisle during a shopping trip rather than right next to me.

It does happen.
post #156 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by kay4 View Post
YK, another thing I shoul dhave added is she is my youngest...my older 3 were out and walking by 3 simply because the next one had come along. (my 2nd held on till about 4 though lol) With Laura her age really snuck up on me so for ME at least that played a part. When she made the comment that her legs hurt it took me a second to think back on the other 3 and I was WOW she's 5 now!!! LOL. So believe me, it wasn't something i forced on her, just reg routine. We went to the store, I put her in the cart.

About your 18 mo. My first daughter was like that. She was a wild woman!!! LOL. Why sit in a stroller or cart when you can RUN!!! was her motto I think. My second LOVED the stroller and although she was 3 1/2 when #3 came along I had to get a double stroller because she still loved to ride.
Thanks for clarifying. I had gotten the impression that you were implying that this was just something that anyone could do with any kid, which irked me, probably because I'm sleep deprived with a new baby and toddler who got sick recently.

Isn't it amazing and wonderful to watch so many kids grow up? I don't think I've got the temperament but I love how moms of many can just enjoy the uniqueness of each individual kids.
post #157 of 182
[QUOTE]
Quote:
Originally Posted by kay4 View Post
YK, another thing I shoul dhave added is she is my youngest...my older 3 were out and walking by 3 simply because the next one had come along. (my 2nd held on till about 4 though lol) With Laura her age really snuck up on me so for ME at least that played a part. When she made the comment that her legs hurt it took me a second to think back on the other 3 and I was WOW she's 5 now!!! LOL. So believe me, it wasn't something i forced on her, just reg routine. We went to the store, I put her in the cart.

About your 18 mo. My first daughter was like that. She was a wild woman!!! LOL. Why sit in a stroller or cart when you can RUN!!! was her motto I think. My second LOVED the stroller and although she was 3 1/2 when #3 came along I had to get a double stroller because she still loved to ride.
Quote:
Thanks for clarifying. I had gotten the impression that you were implying that this was just something that anyone could do with any kid, which irked me, probably because I'm sleep deprived with a new baby and toddler who got sick recently.

Isn't it amazing and wonderful to watch so many kids grow up? I don't think I've got the temperament but I love how moms of many can just enjoy the uniqueness of each individual kids.
(one day i will learn how to quote multiple people lol) Yes it is so awesome to see how each child is different. Glad I came back to clarify, did not want anyone to think i forced this on my kiddo
post #158 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by suebee79 View Post
Ok, let me get this straight. The lady who dropped the pickles was just not taught as a toddler how to behave in the store? Really?
No. The lady who puts the ice cream that she decided against on the bread shelf is who I'm talking about. And you knew that.
post #159 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by Violet2 View Post
We let DD run around with DH. She loves it. He loves it. I'm happy because it tires her out. Everyone has a good time. I have never noticed any shoppers becoming irate or annoyed, usually everyone smiles and thinks DD is cute.

But the store isn't packed either as we shop off hours.

DH is with her the whole time and focused solely on her so I can't see how that would not be an effective precaution.

V

I'm happy for you that your store has off hours. Mine doesn't and it's open from 6 am to midnight. Probably because everyone else also wants to avoid the crowds. The one store that was open 24/7 (now closed) did have off hours but that's when the aisles were most crowded because that's when they did the restocking. Less shoppers but more merchandise.
post #160 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by sewchris2642 View Post
No. The lady who puts the ice cream that she decided against on the bread shelf is who I'm talking about. And you knew that.
OK, again. The lady who puts the ice cream on the bread shelf has NO IDEA that it is uncool to do so? Sorry not buying it. She knows it is obnoxious but doesn't care.
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