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Anyone let their toddler run around in stores? - Page 5

post #81 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyka View Post
You should never let your toddler run around a store. this is so dangerous. I work in a grocery store and I see so many toddlers get hurt.
I agree with your whole post Lilyka. I imagine its also a safety hazard for other shoppers.
post #82 of 182
I haven't read the replies, but had to post as this just came up with us yesterday.

I will first say that I do not "let" dd run around in stores. If she wants to walk, she needs to stay next to me. Sometimes she startst to wander off, and I quickly catch up to her and herd her back.

Yesterday, however, she bolted on me. She started running down the aisle and I took off to catch up with her and bring her back. But this was a LARGE grocery store with many aisles organized almost like a labrynth. She turned before I could catch and then turned again. Literally within seconds I had NO IDEA where she was. I started running around the store calling her name. Finally I found dh (who was with us, but had been in another section of the store) and told him that I couldn't find dd. He immediately went outside to "guard" the exits (fortunately there was only one side that you could exit the store from). I conitnuing running frantically around the store calling her. She was NO WHERE!

I don't know how long I looked for her. It felt like FOREVER. In reality it was probably around 10 minutes. Finally I saw dh coming towards me carrying her. It turns out that when she realized that she was lost, she had started looking for me, couldn't find me in the store, and thought to look outside.

THANK GOD dh had been with us. THANK GOD he thought to guard the exits.

She disappeared literally in a matter of SECONDS. I shudder to think what could have happened to her. ANYTHING could have happened to her.

Believe me, this is a lesson learned. I will NEVER let her walk ahead of me again. It happens SO fast.
post #83 of 182
I do not let me kids run around in the store. When I see other young children doing this I get highly annoyed.
post #84 of 182
I don't and haven't let my son "run" in the store, but he has been walking vs. riding in the seat since he was about 18 months (he is 4 now). He is a very big boy (in height and weight) and many of the carts are not safe for children his age. Most carts have a safety weight of 35lbs, which he was at 18 months. Back to the OP, I always tried to involve my son in the trip by having him help me find stuff, push a little cart, etc. so he was not running around bothering other shoppers. Some people think it is cute, others not so much. By about age 3 I started making him bingo type games, lists and picture matches for him to use while we shopped. He loves it and he is learning valuable skills while we shop.
post #85 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyka View Post
You should never let your toddler run around a store. this is so dangerous. I work in a grocery store and I see so many toddlers get hurt.

1. there are often wet or slick spots on the store. out store has around the closk janitorial staff but they are spend all day keeping up.

2. i work night stock. i break a lot of glass. i get a lot of it up. not all of it. it could still be laying around.

3. the edges and corners of shelves are sharp.

4. the end caps are not always as stable as you think they are. they can take people removing and replacing items. they are not necessarily sturdy enough for toddlers to barrel into them or if she decides to grab something from the bottom it could crash the whole thing. I have sent them tumbling down before.

5. just because you can see your child doesn't mean everyone else can. and you might not mind if an elderly person creams your child but it would likely break their heart to hurt a baby.

A grocery store is not a play ground. letting children run around like it is one is dangerous to them and to others and is just plain rude.

not to mention you are allowing bad habits to form. if this is not acceptabl;e behavior every time you go to the store forever it should not be allowed. it is hard on kids when you give them freedom and then take it away randomly. it is much better (IMHO) to keep rules consistant regardless of who you are with.
:

Well put!
post #86 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyka View Post
You should never let your toddler run around a store. this is so dangerous. I work in a grocery store and I see so many toddlers get hurt.

1. there are often wet or slick spots on the store. out store has around the closk janitorial staff but they are spend all day keeping up.

2. i work night stock. i break a lot of glass. i get a lot of it up. not all of it. it could still be laying around.

3. the edges and corners of shelves are sharp.

4. the end caps are not always as stable as you think they are. they can take people removing and replacing items. they are not necessarily sturdy enough for toddlers to barrel into them or if she decides to grab something from the bottom it could crash the whole thing. I have sent them tumbling down before.

5. just because you can see your child doesn't mean everyone else can. and you might not mind if an elderly person creams your child but it would likely break their heart to hurt a baby.

A grocery store is not a play ground. letting children run around like it is one is dangerous to them and to others and is just plain rude.

not to mention you are allowing bad habits to form. if this is not acceptabl;e behavior every time you go to the store forever it should not be allowed. it is hard on kids when you give them freedom and then take it away randomly. it is much better (IMHO) to keep rules consistant regardless of who you are with.
Totally agree. My 4 y/o now walks with me in stores and I don't worry, b/c I've been training him to do that (stay w/ mom/the cart, use an inside voice, etc) for the last 2 years, for reasons of courtesy, safety, and my sanity! Before that he was in the cart or a sling or at home.
post #87 of 182
Haven't read respnses yet but nope not then not now. It puts child in danger of injury bigger chance of damaging property, increased chances of injuring others, lost child (or worse) My DD needs to walk with me or stay in the cart
Deanna
post #88 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by amynbebes View Post
No and quite honestly it has as much to do with me being able to think straight as it does with the other reasons mentioned here.
Oh so very true...

Deanna
post #89 of 182
I think it's important for them to learn how to stay near you and follow directions in a crowd/new place.

But I would not let DD go father than arm's length.

As for the times when I shopped w/ younger siblings...I put as many as I could into carts lol. It wasn't a kid thing...more a logistics-of-watching-my-baby-and-8-kids thing.
post #90 of 182
depends in the situation- for instance, i was at ross with my mom, my younger sister, and my honorary lil' sister (sisters best friend since they were 4) and my 20month old ds... we were looking for funeral clothes for me, mom, and little sis. rather than keeping ds in the cart the whole time through trying on and all that, we let him down to play. of course it helped that the fitting rooms were right next to the toy section, lol

he did lots of running, hiding and playing, but there was always someone there with him, helping be careful of other people, picking up his messes (which is more than i can say for others), etc.

as long is there is someone right there with him, i dont see the problem. if im the only one, he stays with me, either in the cart, being carried, or holding my hand, which ever works best at the time
post #91 of 182
Ok I may be crazy, but the way I read the original post, she was talking about a situation where
*The child was "running around" in the sense of exploring, not actually barreling through the store randomly crashing into displays and sliding under old lady's walkers like many of you seem to be implying.
*The child was closely supervised, not being watched by the same adult that was actively shopping.

I do let my toddler explore, either a) when DH is there so one of us can be on toddler duty and one can shop, or b) when I am alone and either going to the store specifically for outing/exploring purposes or willing to take a break from shopping to supervise toddler exploits. I don't let him pick up breakables, but I let him touch them gently. I let him investigate whatever he wants, and if he starts to dart away I just snatch him up. What exactly makes that behavior so inappropriate? It's not inappropriate for an adult to window-shop right?

Quote:
Originally Posted by mamatoablessing View Post
See, I can appreciate your view here, totally. But from my experience, even the kids being closely watched can cause accidents or get hurt. What if dad was chasing her, she turned around to look at him, wasn't watching where she was going, and ran into a display, or got hit in the head by someone's cart? Again, I appreciate the consensual agreement you have with her () but as a retail store owner, I've seen bad things happen to kids who were being closely supervised.
But this can happen at home, at a playground or park, or at a swimming pool, and you let kids run around there. Plus, at least the way I do things, the dad is not "chasing" but rather "supervising" or "exploring with."

post #92 of 182
Well we do. It's not the world's safest activity, but I let her run around whenever I can. I don't always need her to follow me- sometimes I really can follow her.

I used to demand that she never run around, but I've found that actually, letting her have some running and fun time in stores has helped with our running-off issues!

And I'd never let her lead or explore in a crowded store. Only when there aren't too many people around and I can follow her.

Crime rates are at their lowest since what, 1972? I want her to be independent and enjoy her life. I ask her not to hide but she can run about and look at things.

Oh, and no standing on things that are not meant to support the weight of a child. For obvious reasons!
post #93 of 182
I *just* started letting my youngest walk in the store instead of riding in the cart. She just turned 5 LOL. I allow walking next to the cart but not running or walking too far ahead of me. I say 'stay where you can reach out and touch the cart or me' Not only is it super hard to stay focused on my grocery list, but i worry about annoying other shoppers OR worse, her getting hit by a cart accidentally.
post #94 of 182
When my DD first started walking well I let her run around our local blockbuster when no one else was in there. We knew the employees and they didn't mind. It was winter and snowy out side. I called it "browsing" and she could look at things but not take anything off the shelves or I picked her up. She still doesn't take things off of shelves, expect toys. And we still sometimes take turns shopping while the other parent "browses" with DD. She loves looking at lawn furniture with DH. My DD, 3.5 now, is very energetic and she couldn't go anywhere for more than 5 minutes if we didn't let her move around. When she was younger sometimes we'd let her run from one parent to the other if no one else was around.
post #95 of 182
I am not sure I would consider it 'running around' in a store - literally, despite thats what I call it...but you know, not 'literally'...(I mean a toddler has to walk a bit faster to keep up even with the slowest of us - it kinda looks like running the funny way toddlers walk! hehe - When I say I let my DS run around in a store, I am not talking him literally sprinting about dangerously - suppose I should say I let him wander around in the store but then you might get the picture of him looking a bit like a lost snail lol) But yeah... Whenever there was two of us, DS and DH (or sometimes the other way around - basically the person not doing the shopping lol) - would let DS lead and follow them around. I thought it was nice for him - his 'turn' you know. He throughly enjoyed it and it was also a learning time for him - what we do and don't do in shops via example/cause and effect/etc. (we are a pretty consensual family) - I don't see a problem with this. We often go for walks as well where as soon as we step out of the house I simply say 'where too Duncan?' and he leads the way - as its his turn to take me for a walk!

I don't buy 'consistancy' either - nothing is consistent...only my love. I don't think children are stupid and I think they can figure that out - we have never had a problem at all with this as my DS. If it is just us, he knows the siatuation is different then when it is both DH and I. I wouldn't make one 'rule' flat out just for the sake of 'consistancy' - I give my DS (and all the other children I know - I nanny as well) the benefit of the doubt. I think this kind of respect and trust is also good for a childs development and growth.

When DS got older (and it didn't walk until much later anyhow)- He loved riding in the shopping trolley. Now at nearly 4, he likes to help push it sometimes - or in some stores, they actually have child sized shopping trolleys he pushes around to do his 'shopping' with. His new game is to actually help other people shop - its hilarious and they don't seem to mind! lol We probably shouldn't laugh about it though lol! (as in, he just watches them and pickes up something he thinks they will like and puts it in their trolley - and you should see his face, he really does think he is helping them - bless!)

I don't know ...we have never had an issue with him not following me around. Big consensual/continuum concept-ish/connection and trust oriented family we are. I have never had the use for a tether and only once did we have a shopping issue that turned out to be the time we were regularly going - so I changed that due to him being tired and worn our and hungry and the 'issue' stopped (which was simply taking things off the shelves and not putting them back - so not the biggest 'issue'). I was, from about the age of two, also comfortable with him 'browsing' as PP has called it above! hehe...This was partially due to me knowing him very well, the very small village we live in, and his personality - I was comfortable with him being out of my sight for short periods of time... I think because we have also sort of taken turns (so it never seems likes its always me me me that calls the shots - which imo can be un-fun for a small child sometimes!) - we have never really had many issues.
post #96 of 182
My daughter finally took the plunge at 16months and took her first steps on her own without a toy car to push or holding onto someone's hand. She has always been independent and never liked the baby carriers I tried her in as a baby (mind you I didn't know much then and used an Eddie Bauer).

The first time she wanted to roam free as a walker we were shopping in Walmart. I passed off a regular cart with spots for her to sit as 'we only needed a few things' My hubby was carrying her and she was being very adamant that she wanted down....that was the night she started to learn that if you're not going to listen to mommy and daddy you don't get to walk.

She is now a month away from turning 2 (which I am SOOOO not ready for!) and 3 months away from being a big sister : She is getting too big for the stroller (and honestly its really hard to be lifting her in and out) and isn't content in the mei tai for long (see, I've learned ) so I can't imagine letting her not have some freedom and being allowed to walk in the stores.

I don't always let her walk, she will often ride in the cart, but I am confident in knowing I can hold her hand and let her walk and she will be OK. I totally use my judgement too....if we're just running into the hardware store where there's going to be maybe one person shopping she can walk....whereas if we're going to Canadian Tire or Walmart it usually depends on how her day is going (if she's listening to me) and how busy the store is. Also what some other posters have said...the second she starts darting (which she's rarely done) or running up ahead she goes back in the cart.

This is my child and what has worked for us.....every child is different
post #97 of 182
I haven't had time to read the whole thread yet, but yes we let our LOs run around. We started it as soon as they could toddle. DD asks to sit in the cart more, but DS rarely ever does. DS is 4. He can walk with me, but he is allowed a decent amount of roaming space. They also help get items off shelves a good bit.
post #98 of 182
I agree with "depends on the store and the child."

Grocery stores - at that age I wouldn't have let my son down much, unless we were just getting milk. Because:

- Hazards: (people in a daze pushing carts! end caps!) and how dirty the floors and low-down things can be (people walking around dripping salmonella! Ew!) My friend's child had her hand run over by someone's shopping cart.
- I liked to have him up in the cart or Ergo where I could consult with him about which tomato to buy and that kind of thing. He got the names of the produce down pretty fast.
- I didn't really want to turn our weekly shopping into "no, no, no" events

Mind you our most local store has kid-sized carts, so eventually I had to follow him around.

For other less frantic stores we sometimes did; we also used to shop in areas where he could walk between stores and be held in stores, or next to parks so he could play and then ride.
post #99 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by kay4 View Post
I *just* started letting my youngest walk in the store instead of riding in the cart. She just turned 5 LOL.
I don't mean to sound snarky, but I have a hard time understanding when parents say things like this. I can imagine even my DD, who is very laid back, giving me a hard time about being required to be in a cart at 5! There's no way DS would've done that without really being ticked off about it.

We actually saw a girl about 5 or 6 in a cart recently, and DD (who's 2) said, "ahhh, a baby." The girl said, "hey I'm not a baby. You're little." DS said, "well you're in the cart," and the girl glared at her mom. It was pretty funny, and I guess that's how I view the situation for "big kids" in carts.

I suppose we're really more consensual than I imagine when I think of CL because I realize when reading/witnessing other people's parenting that we don't force much on the kiddos. I don't expect them to sit in the cart while I shop for groceries unless they want to. If we're crunched for time, I really try to make it more of a game. "Who can find the carrots?" and that sort of thing.
post #100 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrandiRhoades View Post
I don't mean to sound snarky, but I have a hard time understanding when parents say things like this. I can imagine even my DD, who is very laid back, giving me a hard time about being required to be in a cart at 5! There's no way DS would've done that without really being ticked off about it.

We actually saw a girl about 5 or 6 in a cart recently, and DD (who's 2) said, "ahhh, a baby." The girl said, "hey I'm not a baby. You're little." DS said, "well you're in the cart," and the girl glared at her mom. It was pretty funny, and I guess that's how I view the situation for "big kids" in carts.

I suppose we're really more consensual than I imagine when I think of CL because I realize when reading/witnessing other people's parenting that we don't force much on the kiddos. I don't expect them to sit in the cart while I shop for groceries unless they want to. If we're crunched for time, I really try to make it more of a game. "Who can find the carrots?" and that sort of thing.
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