mamas who don't shave~ what will you tell your dd and will you/do you allow shaving? - Page 8

[mommysarah5]

Originally Posted by magstphil

My husband goes in spurts. But he inevitably ends up in front of me after looking in the mirror and I know what he wants and just laugh. When I don't pop his face he gets zits and blackheads all over within a few days/weeks. He tells everyone he didn't have clear skin until he met me.

see I used to keep my husands skin clear and now its a mess and he doesn't understand its because he doesn't let me pick at it anymore! and im a good picker too - I never leave scars. My favorite are the black heads that look like your average black head, but you pop it and its like the legnth of someones intenstines or something it just keeps coming out in insane amounts.


there is so something wrong with me. I cant believe im talking about this on mothering.

[mommysarah5]

Originally Posted by magstphil

Speaking of feeling like a chimp.... (ok so I am about to gross y'all out- you ready?)

When I was a junior in high school my charter school had this outbreak of lice and I would sit and pick them out of my little sister's hair and friend's hair all the time. I was the most thorough so they'd bring me the Rid and nit comp and I'd go through their hair with it and then pick them out by hand (we had some baaaad cases because the kids weren't sent home for it).

What can I say? I am really really odd.

when my cat gets fleas I pick them out of her and crush them. I'm going to be a flea or a pimple in my next life.

[thismama]

Grossest derail ever.

[holyhelianthus]

Originally Posted by mommysarah5

see I used to keep my husands skin clear and now its a mess and he doesn't understand its because he doesn't let me pick at it anymore! and im a good picker too - I never leave scars. My favorite are the black heads that look like your average black head, but you pop it and its like the legnth of someones intenstines or something it just keeps coming out in insane amounts.


there is so something wrong with me. I cant believe im talking about this on mothering.

We are totally going to be talked about for this.

But yeah I am the same way! I categorize zits and blackheads too. I know all the different kinds and which I like to pop best.

I also never leave scars. I believe it's my technique but who knows. We are just natural born pickers and poppers you and I!

[holyhelianthus]

Originally Posted by mommysarah5

when my cat gets fleas I pick them out of her and crush them. I'm going to be a flea or a pimple in my next life.

Oh I've never had the pleasure of fleas. We didn't have many animals. Hmmm I wonder what that'd be like.

[mommysarah5]

Originally Posted by magstphil

We are totally going to be talked about for this.

But yeah I am the same way! I categorize zits and blackheads too. I know all the different kinds and which I like to pop best.

I also never leave scars. I believe it's my technique but who knows. We are just natural born pickers and poppers you and I!

you have me in stitches over here! Maybe I lost the sense or normal a long time ago, but at least I'm not alone!

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by magstphil

Oh I've never had the pleasure of fleas. We didn't have many animals. Hmmm I wonder what that'd be like.

The best way is to get them between two fingernails.

And...I think I'm going to bail out, because this is way OT...and getting kind of gross.

[mommysarah5]

Originally Posted by magstphil

Oh I've never had the pleasure of fleas
didn't have many animals. Hmmm I wonder what that'd be like.

it's not as fun to be honest - that one I do more out of neccessity. Our cat just can't seem to stay in the house and I don't make her, but I don't want the fleas living with us. Everyone always says when you see a flea you will have a flea problem within days or weeks - but my cat gets a couple fleas a week and I get them off her and we've never had a flea problem aside from the few I get off her. But yea, not really fun, just gross, and sometimes they try to hop away :

[1littlebit]

Originally Posted by mommysarah5

when my cat gets fleas I pick them out of her and crush them. I'm going to be a flea or a pimple in my next life.

omg my best friend /former roommate used to do this to her dog. she would sit there and pick the 'fleasies' off his belly. we used to compete to see who could find the most.

[mommysarah5]

sorry I did answer the original question I got carried away when I realized there were mre people like me. Perhaps a spin off thread would have been more appropriate. To the OP I am sorry for taking part in derailing your thread! And I think its really awesome you thinking about this issue and even though I shave for personal comfort I agree with your reasons for not shaving and hold the same beliefs, I just shave for myself.

[holyhelianthus]

Originally Posted by Storm Bride

The best way is to get them between two fingernails.

And...I think I'm going to bail out, because this is way OT...and getting kind of gross.

That's the best way to kill lice and pop their eggs too!

And sorry folks It's just so nice to find a kindred spirit!

[holyhelianthus]

Originally Posted by mommysarah5

sorry I did answer the original question I got carried away when I realized there were mre people like me. Perhaps a spin off thread would have been more appropriate. To the OP I am sorry for taking part in derailing your thread! And I think its really awesome you thinking about this issue and even though I shave for personal comfort I agree with your reasons for not shaving and hold the same beliefs, I just shave for myself.

:

Moving on now.... (but do let me know if there is a spin off)

[1littlebit]

i like threads like this. they make me feel normal... other people squash fleas, pop zits, and pick their kids ear wax

[CatsCradle]

i like threads like this. they make me feel normal... other people squash fleas, pop zits, and pick their kids ear wax

Sorry, I didn't admit to anything.

[kristi96]

Originally Posted by sisteeesmama

I long for a world where women truely feel beautiful exactly as they are, where other people don't put emphasis on these kinds of things, where women and girls were not held to a man's standard of beauty which I think is RIDICULOUS!
And I also in my heart don't believe that any woman truely shaves only for her own self, that is my true belief, whether they think they do or not. (Flame if you like, but this is supposed to be a support only thread.)

I intended to just read this thread as I found it interesting....until I saw this post. I shave because I want to and because I enjoy it. So yes I do shave for myself and only myself. My DH could care less if I shaved or didn't shave. When I was pregnant I didn't shave anything but my armpits and he didn't make single comment about it. As soon as I could see my legs and other areas I shave ASAP. To be honest I felt gross and dirty with all that hair on me. Just because a man or woman doesn't shave doesn't mean they are dirty its just the way it made me feel. As for my own DD when she is old enough she will decide that for herself. I think you should just be honest about your feelings when your DD is old enough to understand.

[trancechylde]

Originally Posted by thismama

Grossest derail ever.

Yep am pregnant and actually starting to feel a little queasy. urp.

[mommysarah5]

I just saw this post from the OP:

I long for a world where women truely feel beautiful exactly as they are, where other people don't put emphasis on these kinds of things, where women and girls were not held to a man's standard of beauty which I think is RIDICULOUS!
And I also in my heart don't believe that any woman truely shaves only for her own self, that is my true belief, whether they think they do or not. (Flame if you like, but this is supposed to be a support only thread


I wanted to say that what you said was not a supportive comment. You just undermined a lot of women here. If we care about women and their self esteem, how does it hlp to say "I think some women are liars who say they shave for themselves but they don't" As I said, I have body odor really fast if I dont shave. I dont have to shave every day. My hair is never done, and I live dressed in oversized sweatpants and tank tops or t shirts - often times with all kinds of miscellaneous stains on them. Anyone who knows yu will probably tell you I could afford to care about my appearance a little more, but I don't care what they think. I don't shave every day because I don't care about stubble or even visible hair, but I shave on the day it's long enough to cause body odor (I will shower every day and not smell at all but its always on the 3rd day that if I don't shave then I could shower every couple hours and still smell - not right after the shower but shortly there after.

and *I* don't want to be around someone who smells bad. So I shave. For me. I'm not going to "flame you" but it was your post that was unsupportive (of women in general) As a shaver I support the intention of this thread. I dn't support some women acting better then other women though. We had to deal with men acting better then us for a long time, which seems to be something you understood, but not we have to deal with our own kind thinking they are superior, simply because they don't shave? It's other women who oppress us now, more so then men.

If you want to be supportive of women in general don't be just as bad as men and put us down. Women who shave are women too.

[KristaDJ]

Originally Posted by MamieCole

So I am genuinely curious...

Do those of you who feel that shaving for women is conforming to male ideals of beauty and infantilizing, oppressive, etc, how do you feel about other grooming issues that can be lumped into the "beautification for others, not ones self" category?

Do you feel the same way about trimming fingernails? Painting fingernails? Removing ear wax? Cutting hair on your head into a style or trimming it at all for that matter? Coloring your hair? Wearing clothing? Wearing deodorant?

Do those of you who do not shave do any of the above? If so, how is it different?

All of those things are "changing" the natural way our bodies look or smell. Where is the line between shaving vs. other grooming?


Sincerely just curious.

I cut my nails because if I don't I scratch my baby, that has nothing to do with beautification.
I don't paint anything on my body and find that whole practice odd.
I get the wax out of my ear because it itches when it's there.
I have dread locks, I don't trim, style, color or do anything else to my hair.
I wear clothing because I don't want to be nude for many reasons that have nothing to do with beauty.
I wear deodorant because I don't like the smell of sweat.
I DON"T shave because I feel like it is something women are forced into in my society and I refuse to conform to that. It's either shave or be an outcast who gets dirty looks and rude comments. It really not the same as not painting your fingernails. I am not against shaving at all, I am just against it for me. I also wish that women in this country were free to choose not to shave without being looked down on for it and I think that if more of us just stopped shaving we would get there a lot faster.
ETA: I also feel that women are forced into wearing make-up so I refuse that as well. This is all from a girl who used to take two hours getting ready to go to the grocery store. I would NOT leave the house without my hair and make-up done and an outfit that I spent an hour choosing and my legs SHAVEN. I did this because I felt that I was disgusting if I didn't. That is what I would like to see die in this country. If women want to do that for absolutely no reason other than they enjoy it that is fine by me, it's the women who feel they have no choice or do is without any thinking at all that make me sad.

[thismama]

I don't think it's fair to expect the OP to make no comments about shaving as they are 'unsupportive to women.' She is a woman, I am a woman, we all grew up with this expectation that we should shave. We decided how we feel about it, and we don't do it. YMMV. But we all have a relationship to this idea that we must shave as women, and so we all are entitled to our opinions about it.

As for grooming, I do hygiene stuff and I have what I think is a cool/funky hairdo, that is very low maintenance coz I am lazy. I like to look nice, but for me that doesn't include shaving hair that grows naturally on my body, that men are not expected to shave and women in some other cultures do not shave. That I don't like, so I don't do it.

[Cherry Alive]

Re: Trimming- I have a lovely bikini-line trimmer, but it works on the entire region. It's like a very gentle beard trimmer.

It's great, bc my pubes drive me crazy and get caught in my panties. They get long and the growth line extends to my inner thighs. If I didn't manage them, I'd never be able to wear a swim suit (unless it was the shorts style).

Originally Posted by mommysarah5

interesting. I have very red lips that make me look even paler then I am and I just look bad in red - makes my skin look blotchy, always has since I was a kid - and so I put foundation on my lips to make them look pale. No one cares, I don't leave the house, I don't do it for anyone but me.

In fact I care so little I live in sweatpants and oversized t-shirts and rarely do my hair or make up, just like the pale lips...

I can't do red lipstick either, but brownish burgandy really brings out my smile without making me look trampy or like a clown.

I'm a jeans and t-shit gal, but I enjoy light makeup...especially something to cover my undereye circles. I have very deep set eyes, and it really stands out when I don't get sleep (happens a lot w/ a teething LO). I'd rather hide the look than drink caffeine. Believe it or not hiding my tiredness helps me feel less tired.

Originally Posted by thismama

I don't think it's fair to expect the OP to make no comments about shaving as they are 'unsupportive to women.' She is a woman, I am a woman, we all grew up with this expectation that we should shave. We decided how we feel about it, and we don't do it. YMMV. But we all have a relationship to this idea that we must shave as women, and so we all are entitled to our opinions about it.

As for grooming, I do hygiene stuff and I have what I think is a cool/funky hairdo, that is very low maintenance coz I am lazy. I like to look nice, but for me that doesn't include shaving hair that grows naturally on my body, that men are not expected to shave and women in some other cultures do not shave. That I don't like, so I don't do it.

Men *are* expected to shave. They shave their faces and necks every day. And don't tell me it's easier than doing our body hair. I see the ritual DH has to go through every day. It's a PITA.

It is also becoming popular for guys to trim/shave other parts of their bodies. I've known quite a few who shave their backs, dated a guy who shaved his pubes, and am married to a man who shaves his pits. Shaving/trimming the pubic region has become popular as it gives the illusion of a guy looking larger. A lot of guys get annoyed by their body hair.