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mamas who don't shave~ what will you tell your dd and will you/do you allow shaving? - Page 14

post #261 of 416
Quote:
Originally Posted by sisteeesmama View Post
So even though your preferrence as a man is that you like shaved women versus unshaved, you wouldn't at all let that preferrence affect your decision making when choosing to date a woman, hat is assuming you do date women obviously.
I have a feeling you are trying to get me to answer a certain way.

It would not be my main criteria, no. But appearances do have an effect on people. Matching hypothesis...
post #262 of 416
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by benj View Post
I have a feeling you are trying to get me to answer a certain way.

It would not be my main criteria, no. But appearances do have an effect on people. Matching hypothesis...
I was just asking because your answer was sort of short and I didn't get the whole gist of what I tought you were trying to say. And I have to admit I still don't. I don't know what you mean by 'matching hypothesis' either.


And to Mag's answer for you:
I have had guy friend's who would literally NOT date a girl or even sleep with her if she had pubic hair AT ALL. I think the preferrence is stornger or weaker depending. To some guys it repulses them, skeeves them what have you. I do think people make decisions based on rdiculous things and this does happen to be one of them.
And no, I don't think everyone settles or compromises when choosing a mate. I have several girlfriends who are still single because they are looking for MR./Ms. perfect. Is that what you meant, Mag?
post #263 of 416
Quote:
Originally Posted by magstphil View Post
Ok you lost me a bit I think I know what you are saying but I am not sure.

I will use the rape example- I don't think it is instinct but I do think sometimes the sex instinct becomes so intense or so confused it becomes a "must have NOW!" thing. Of course not in every case and I am in no way trying to excuse rape (let's stop that being thrown at me before it is ) but I think that is what you were saying.
i actually think the instinct is to procreate... produce children etc. and the physical pleasure we get from sex makes this even more appealing.. or something along those lines.

rape is a toughie b/c it is about control. i would imagine that some who rapes another person (or animal for that matter) has had their own instincts warped in such a way that they are not able to respond to them appropriately.
post #264 of 416
Quote:
Originally Posted by sisteeesmama View Post
And to Mag's answer for you:
I have had guy friend's who would literally NOT date a girl or even sleep with her if she had pubic hair AT ALL. I think the preferrence is stornger or weaker depending. To some guys it repulses them, skeeves them what have you. I do think people make decisions based on rdiculous things and this does happen to be one of them.
Well I agree except with it being ridiculous. Everybody has got their something.

Quote:
And no, I don't think everyone settles or compromises when choosing a mate. I have several girlfriends who are still single because they are looking for MR./Ms. perfect. Is that what you meant, Mag?
But I was referring to the people who are in relationships. Of course those who are still single haven't settled for their relationship- there is no relationship to speak of!

I doubt anyone in a relationship has found the absolute 100% perfect nothing-ever-happens-in-the-negative in their relationship ever type of thing, ykwim? It can even be something as small as hair on his knuckles . I'm just saying not every last one of our preferences is met in our relationships at all times. So if someone prefers a women with silky smooth legs s/he may or may not date someone who doesn't shave. It is all relative. It may just not be that big of a deal and the person can look past it.

Then again I think "perfect" is overrated but that's a whole other thing.
post #265 of 416
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1littlebit View Post
i actually think the instinct is to procreate... produce children etc. and the physical pleasure we get from sex makes this even more appealing.. or something along those lines.

rape is a toughie b/c it is about control. i would imagine that some who rapes another person (or animal for that matter) has had their own instincts warped in such a way that they are not able to respond to them appropriately.
I agree with both. Though I do think we are often times pleasure-driven.
post #266 of 416
Quote:
Originally Posted by sisteeesmama View Post
I was just asking because your answer was sort of short and I didn't get the whole gist of what I tought you were trying to say. And I have to admit I still don't. I don't know what you mean by 'matching hypothesis' either.


And to Mag's answer for you:
I have had guy friend's who would literally NOT date a girl or even sleep with her if she had pubic hair AT ALL. I think the preferrence is stornger or weaker depending. To some guys it repulses them, skeeves them what have you. I do think people make decisions based on rdiculous things and this does happen to be one of them.
And no, I don't think everyone settles or compromises when choosing a mate. I have several girlfriends who are still single because they are looking for MR./Ms. perfect. Is that what you meant, Mag?
Matching hypothesis---a psychological and sociological theory that has suggestions as to why people become attracted to their partner. While its mostly used to show the effects of attractiveness, it is also used to show how similar attitudes, age, culture, education and values affect a potential relationship. Reciprocity is powerful.

When I said I wouldn't hold it against someone, I meant just that. I don't necessarily have to like/agree with everything someone else does, do I?

Anyways, I've never met a girl who didn't shave (legs.) Guys who have a preference for no pubic hair is a result of the media, pornography, etc. I think that a woman with absolutely no pubic hair looks pre-pubescent, in all honesty.
post #267 of 416
Quote:
Anyways, I've never met a girl who didn't shave (legs.) Guys who have a preference for no pubic hair is a result of the media, pornography, etc. I think that a woman with absolutely no pubic hair looks pre-pubescent, in all honesty.
I agree with your feelings on shaved pubic hair but again I think it is unfair to say ALL men prefer no pubic hair because of the media and such. Sure a lot do, no doubt but there are those who prefer it for other reasons and as mamas have stated on this very thread women themselves shave down bellow for reasons beyond societal conditioning- namely comfort and sexual pleasure.
post #268 of 416
BTW, sisteeesmama, I still like you lots even if you are getting tired of me I have enjoyed our conversation here!

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post #269 of 416
I found it really interesting that for pretty much most of my adult life I tended to be attracted towards more fine featured, smooth faced (no stubble or shadow), slender, less hairy men. My friends were all shocked when I married DH, who is...um...really extremely hairy, barrel chested, and gets a shadow within 2 hours or shaving. I did have visual and tactile preferences for a really long time, but DH's scent kind of overrode all of those for me (well, and of course his personality and character, but to be totally honest, our intial meeting it was not either of those things--I've never experienced such a world-and-time-stopping visceral attraction to someone ever before or since!). I have heard stories of people who suddenly fell in love and paired up with people who weren't their "type", I wonder if something similar happened?

So I do think society has input, but sometimes there are other things that can definitely override what even the person has decided is "attractive". For the longest time, I was attracted towards men who in stereotypical American society would not have been considered all that "manly". Maybe that was a reaction to culture as well, I don't know. I suppose rebelling against the cultural stereotype of attractiveness might be in a way still being under its power.
post #270 of 416
Quote:
Originally Posted by magstphil View Post
I agree with your feelings on shaved pubic hair but again I think it is unfair to say ALL men prefer no pubic hair because of the media and such. Sure a lot do, no doubt but there are those who prefer it for other reasons and as mamas have stated on this very thread women themselves shave down bellow for reasons beyond societal conditioning- namely comfort and sexual pleasure.
I didn't say "all", you did.

I'm pretty sure without those influences, guys might still have a preference.

Anyways, I've tried shaving myself down there...it itches.
post #271 of 416
Quote:
Originally Posted by magstphil View Post
Obviously I am not him but I find this question interesting. Doesn't everyone essentially "settle" in one for or another with their mate or even date? I mean I love beards but my DH doesn't really grow facial hair.
I wouldn't say "settle", but I have to agree. If I were to create my hypothetical "perfect" man, on a physical level, he'd have very little body hair, and the hair on his head would be close to his butt. DH is fairly hairy, and thinks his hair is too long when it gets past a buzz cut (okay - that's not quite true, but he wears it very short). I don't settle for him, though - I find him incredibly sexy. (I'm not huge on facial hair, either, but dh does wear a beard sometimes. I like his face the way it is without a beard...but at least with a beard, he looks old enough for me.)


re: shaving, in general. I've only seen the idea that female shaving is to make us look younger/pre-pubescent, etc. in the last few years. Growing up, I always assumed it was intended more to exaggerate the differences between men and women, because men tend to have a lot more body hair. I never thought shaving made anybody look younger...


Someone mentioned the shaving and a certain look with respect to strip clubs. I can't even count that into normal day to day stuff, in some ways. Those guys are already there to gawk at naked women. It's not an accurate mirror on normal male/female interactions, imo. I don't to get into UAVs, but dh quite likes that I shave, but it has little or nothing to do with how it looks, and he wouldn't bat an eyelash if I stopped (I have a few times...shaving down there is hard in late pregnancy).
post #272 of 416
Quote:
Originally Posted by benj View Post
I didn't say "all", you did.

I'm pretty sure without those influences, guys might still have a preference.

Anyways, I've tried shaving myself down there...it itches.
I don't usually shave my pubic area, but when I do, dh likes it because (I'm trying to say this w/o a UAV here ) because it is less irritating to his, um, tongue. There, I said it. It has nothing to do with how it looks, it just makes certain things easier.
post #273 of 416
Quote:
Originally Posted by benj View Post
I didn't say "all", you did.
True but you did imply it with...

Quote:
Guys who have a preference for no pubic hair is a result of the media, pornography, etc.
Still I agree with the rest of what you said

Stormie~ re: "settle" I wanted to find a better word but just couldn't seem to so I used "". I still am trying to think up a better word...
post #274 of 416
Quote:
Originally Posted by eclipse View Post
I don't usually shave my pubic area, but when I do, dh likes it because (I'm trying to say this w/o a UAV here ) because it is less irritating to his, um, tongue. There, I said it. It has nothing to do with how it looks, it just makes certain things easier.
It's a good thing that your decisions aren't bound by my opinions.

My girlfriend does actually trim and shave sometimes. My whole point was my opinion shouldn't matter.

Quote:
Originally Posted by magstphil View Post
True but you did imply it with...
Wasn't intentional, sorry. But it did get some attention, so that's good.
post #275 of 416
Quote:
Originally Posted by magstphil View Post
Stormie~ re: "settle" I wanted to find a better word but just couldn't seem to so I used "". I still am trying to think up a better word...
Yeah - I know what you mean. When I replied, I was trying to find a good word, too. DH is nothing like the guys I used to check out...not even a little bit. But, he definitely does it for me. (And, I don't even know what guys I would check out these days. I don't seem to do that much, anymore.)
post #276 of 416
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
If I were to create my hypothetical "perfect" man, on a physical level, he'd have very little body hair, and the hair on his head would be close to his butt.
I got the strangest visual in my head for a split second until my brain caught up to the fact that you just meant long hair.
post #277 of 416
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
Yeah - I know what you mean. When I replied, I was trying to find a good word, too. DH is nothing like the guys I used to check out...not even a little bit. But, he definitely does it for me. (And, I don't even know what guys I would check out these days. I don't seem to do that much, anymore.)
Ha -- I know what you mean. I saw a guy the other day who was exactly the look I used to go for, and I thought, "Hmm, I would have been gaga over him 15 years ago. Ew." My DH is different in many ways from what I would have said was my "type" as a young adult, but his traits are the ones I find attractive now.
post #278 of 416
Quote:
Originally Posted by limabean View Post
I got the strangest visual in my head for a split second until my brain caught up to the fact that you just meant long hair.
Is that what she meant? That changes my whole mental image.
post #279 of 416
Quote:
Originally Posted by limabean View Post
I got the strangest visual in my head for a split second until my brain caught up to the fact that you just meant long hair.

Yeah...I really like long hair on guys...I think...I'm not sure, because of this:

Quote:
Originally Posted by limabean View Post
Ha -- I know what you mean. I saw a guy the other day who was exactly the look I used to go for, and I thought, "Hmm, I would have been gaga over him 15 years ago. Ew." My DH is different in many ways from what I would have said was my "type" as a young adult, but his traits are the ones I find attractive now.
The few times a guy catches my eye these days, it's usually someone who looks a lot like dh.
post #280 of 416
Well, to be fair---you don't go looking for a partner like you would look for a car. It really isn't that surprising that people compromise (is that a better word than "settle?")
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