July Dating Thread: Looking for Fireworks!! - Page 2

[JohnnysGirl]

Originally Posted by AKA_PI

No dates on my end. Exciting, huh? LOL Not sure if and when I'll ever be asked on one but we'll see.

Have you browsed POF? OKCupid? Anything?



and Josy, I'd date you and all these other mamas in a sec, too.



So date tonight with Clark Kent got a snag. He texted and said, "Oh I forgot I was supposed to go see family tonight! I'll call you when I get back, unless it's too late."

I'm starting to think he's a..... person to pass on.

[JohnnysGirl]

Originally Posted by Sagesgirl

It's just that I feel really bad about my personal economics right now, & I'm going to community college and messaging an officer (er, my ex was an E-5; barely qualifying as mid-grade enlisted) with a farking master's degree.

stop being down on yourself. These things don't matter to men when it comes to a woman they'd like to get to know romantically. Pursue it with all the appropriate optimism and don't think that class or education level things will hamper you. You're enough without societal bragging rights.

[Seie]

Butterflymom: I am starting to think Clark Kent is a no go too. How cool would it be that when he finally gets back to you you simply reply that he passed his chance and wish him luck in his future dating life If you say something like that make sure to update us in detail about his response!

Sagesgirl: You are totally worth him! THe guy I dated before BF was a carpenter. He was really into clever university or carreer type girls, and whenever he told them his trade, they would just give him a top-down look and be on their way. But really that says more about them than it did him. How shallow is that? And would you want to date your guy if he was shallow enough to think it mattered. Hey - would he even have gone out with you if he thought it was importent?

Sorry I am pretty bad at keeping up with all the dating going on. I am reading though

[JohnnysGirl]

Originally Posted by Seie

Butterflymom: I am starting to think Clark Kent is a no go too. How cool would it be that when he finally gets back to you you simply reply that he passed his chance and wish him luck in his future dating life If you say something like that make sure to update us in detail about his response!

: Great idea. If I ever hear from him then I will do that. Sigh.


So tonight I got bold and went on Are You Interested and found a cutie and moved things over to MSN and he was so cute, and so tall, (and even wears glasses at work) and a computer science geek (I did smarty pants nerds), so I asked him for a drink. He got on a bus and came to town immediately to have a drink with me. We talked for 3 hours. Ok, he talked. He gets to be called Grinnin' Chattyman because the man can seriously talk. And that usually is ME who doesn't shut up, so if I'm saying this, then it means a LOT! He was so sweet. Just talked and talked to entertain me and when he smiled his whole face lit up in a warm and genuine way. He's very clever and down to earth, but really really really chatty. I enjoyed his company but he seems like such a sweet good guy.....tall, preppy, dark hair, clean cut.... I even got the mental comparison between he and Forrest Gump but of course this guy isn't that boyish/preppy.
He came home and messaged me on msn and said, "you're much prettier than in your pics." and continued to chat me up. I think he's excited about me but let's see..... I don't feel any mind boggling spark but I really like the dude's voice and smell ( we hugged hello and goodbye) and he's very good looking and everything-my-type, so..... I'm gonna see him again!


edited to add: he chatted me up on msn from work today and seems totally interested. I therefore added his mug shot to our FB group. Review and comment at your discretion, ladies. Tell me if you see the Forrest Gump comparison.

[yoginisarah]

So, I had a late dinner with yoga guy last night (our 2nd date). Again, the conversation was great and it was fun hanging out with him. So, the date was ending and we kissed. But I felt NOTHING. I couldn't believe it and, although I've only kissed a few guys, I have never just felt nothing before. He wasn't a bad kisser at all, I think he was actually a good kisser, but as we stood there making out, I just wanted it to be over. And it seemed like it lasted forever...I kept trying to end it but then it didn't end.
So, he made it obvious that he's really into me and now I'm feeling like it isn't going to work. But I feel HORRIBLE about the thought of rejecting him. Especially because I always thought it was silly when people would say that they met a great guy but there was no chemistry. But, that's seemingly what happened.
Do I give it another date or break it off now?

[wytchywoman]

:
Hi there...can I join your crew? I have been single for about 2 1/2 years now. I decided last november that maybe it was time to start developing a social life. I've made a couple of good friends out of the process but mostly have discovered that there are a whole lot of loser and crazies out there too. I don't know if any of you mamas have struggled with this, but I am vascilating back and forth between wanting someone in my life and being extremely happy with not having to deal with all the relationship BS that comes along with dating. I guess in my own perfect world, Mr Right would be happy with seeing me a few times a month, but wouldn't treat me like a booty call either. Bwahh haaaa! I think I'm sort of out of lcuh on that one. I had a profile on OKCupid for awhile and it worked out ok, but mostly I either had pervy guys who just wanted sex or guys that wanted to get married and have babies tomorrow, neither of which I am interested in. I just want to DATE....anyone with me here?

[sugarmoon]

Originally Posted by wytchywoman

I guess in my own perfect world, Mr Right would be happy with seeing me a few times a month, but wouldn't treat me like a booty call either. Bwahh haaaa! I think I'm sort of out of lcuh on that one. I had a profile on OKCupid for awhile and it worked out ok, but mostly I either had pervy guys who just wanted sex or guys that wanted to get married and have babies tomorrow, neither of which I am interested in. I just want to DATE....anyone with me here?

EXACTLY!!!!!!!!! I feel exactly the same way, and have had exactly the same experiences. Very frustrating.

Welcome to the dating thread, anyway!

[Sagesgirl]

OK, he did message me back. He seems really sweet. And I can indulge my desire to move very slowly, 'cause the Army has long deployments. (Nah, not the main reason I messaged him; he seems to have a good sense of humor.) I'm just trying to come to terms with the fact that he has the same name as my xFIL (and father, for that matter). That's just weird, and reminds me of the 13-year age difference thing.

And it seemed like it lasted forever...I kept trying to end it but then it didn't end.

Yeah, that would bug me even more than the lack of feeling thing. : I'd break it off now. If you feel nothing, imo it's not going to magically appear later on, but the longer you go the harder it'll be to end it. Two dates isn't a commitment at all.

I just want to DATE....anyone with me here?

Yeah, I'm with you too. I don't want to close the door on anything, but I need to take care of my own house first, kwim? There doesn't seem to be a whole lot of middle ground between hooking up & marrying tomorrow in online dating.

[JohnnysGirl]

Originally Posted by yoginisarah

He wasn't a bad kisser at all, I think he was actually a good kisser, but as we stood there making out, I just wanted it to be over. And it seemed like it lasted forever...I kept trying to end it but then it didn't end.

Well. You like him. He's cute enough. He's very into you. You guys have great conversations and a fun time. He's a good kisser. Ok, so you felt no fireworks the first time you kissed. Maybe on another date, on another day, with another vibe, it might spark stronger. It sounds like he's a really great contender, and you aren't just feeling nauseus when looking at him, you find him attractive, so.... if you aren't repelled by him in general, it's just developing a kissing raport that's taking some time to get spicy, ......then give it another date at least.


wychywoman, welcome! I totally agree about the flawed beast that is Online Dating. OD is easy to OD on, indeed.

[Chantelle691]

Originally Posted by wytchywoman

I am vascilating back and forth between wanting someone in my life and being extremely happy with not having to deal with all the relationship BS that comes along with dating. I guess in my own perfect world, Mr Right would be happy with seeing me a few times a month, but wouldn't treat me like a booty call either. I just want to DATE....anyone with me here?

Yes. Yes, yes, yes.

I actually went out on a great blind date last Friday night with a good friend of my good friend at work. We had a really good time - he brought me a bottle of wine AND paid for dinner. We've been talking/texting all week. So we'll see.

[Hollycrand]

So went surfing with SCG last night. Had a really fun time. He took me out to dinner, invited me back to his place, opened a bottle of wine, and then we talked for like four hours. But I had the feeling he felt that maybe we had no chemistry...he didn't make any moves, (nor did I), and at around 1am he said that maybe he's better take me home.
Afterwards he said 'Bye", with no indication of wanting to see me again or anything.
I don't know what to do. I texted him right away afterwards....angry at myself for not having said something before.
I know he went out with someone Thursday night....maybe he was comparing me with her.
I just wanted a friend to hang out with so I wouldn't be so alone....I really really want to call him to clarify things with him, but am afraid it would be way too pushy and scare him off.
We have lots in common, but differences too. He likes reality TV a lot....I've never really watched it. We also talked politics....which might have scared him off a bit.
AAAAAARRRGH!
I enrolled in Plenty of Fish, but am not very confident anything will come out of it.

[Hollycrand]

So texted SCG again, asking him to forget the first text...I had had too much wine. No reply.
I really really really liked going surfing with him.

Got a few bites from PoF...even ended up being on someone`s favourite list. PoF in Montreal has quite quite a lot of guys between 30-50. My age group.
Need to get a picture of me up...

[wytchywoman]

I just made a profile on PoF. The guys there seem slightly less horny and a bit more stable than on OKC, but I've gotten a few emails already by a few guys that are desperate to the nth degree. Oi!!!. We shall see what becomes of it.

[beebs]

hi, can i join in? i've always looked at this thread with envy...but now i have a "problem." it's a very strong possibility that i'm going to be hopping in the sack with a man i met in my building not too long ago. he wants it, i want it, is that wrong? it's so cliche...we're both recently separated, he's 49, i'm 33...he's white, i'm asian...we live in the same building...but happiness, even if fleeting, is SO tempting!

i thought he was looking for another wife, and i wasn't looking at all...but something happened, chemistry, whatever, and we both can't get each other off our minds. we made out on his couch a couple of times. the biggest complication is that he's dating another woman in the building (!). i don't care, but he seemed to care for a while because he was married for 22 years and had never had a relationship with more than one woman at the same time. but he did initiate the kissing so he couldn't have cared that much, right? he's just seemed really tormented this whole week - which makes me want him more.

i seriously don't want to be the other woman. but is this really my problem? i mean, i haven't had sex in over a year, and he woke up these feelings i had forgotten about...basically i'm really horny, and horny for this guy (it's not like i look at every guy i met and think about having sex with him). i was willing to walk away, but it would have been VERY hard. and tonight he says that has to have me. a terrible problem to have, i know. and i'm not even legally separated yet, is that bad??? we're supposed to sign on tuesday and i probably won't be holding out

[sugarmoon]

Welcome, beebs!

Having recently had a bizarre neighbor thing, I'd personally advise against the neighbor with a neighbor-girlfriend scenario, but your building may be bigger than my neigborhood

[yoginisarah]

beebs- I would steer clear of that. It will only cause drama and could make life uncomfortable. If he dumps the other woman, I think that there is nothing wrong with just hooking up, but it isn't good to proceed knowing there is someone else. I'd be worried about safety as well (like STD safety).

[eccomama]

i have not dated for over a month. it's just too exhausting dealing with men who are hesitant or unwilling or whatever have commitment issues. i have tried okcupid, plenty of fish and even craiglist! 2-3 dates and men disappear.
maybe i smell? hehe. i'm laughing at it as i dont know what else to do.
glad to see that others of you are having luck!
happy 4th

[LoveOhm]

Originally Posted by Butterflymom

stop being down on yourself. These things don't matter to men when it comes to a woman they'd like to get to know romantically. Pursue it with all the appropriate optimism and don't think that class or education level things will hamper you. You're enough without societal bragging rights.

: also because of your age difference his expectations will be different.... I find older men dating younger women are not looking to go dutch.... at least not in my city.

Originally Posted by Seie

Butterflymom: I am starting to think Clark Kent is a no go too. How cool would it be that when he finally gets back to you you simply reply that he passed his chance and wish him luck in his future dating life If you say something like that make sure to update us in detail about his response!

LOVE THIS!!!!!! Butterflymom IF you do this please share the details!

Originally Posted by yoginisarah

Do I give it another date or break it off now?

Before you throw him away since so many other items are on point I think I would work with it ----- at least a couple more dates. Is it something in your mental space blocking you from enjoying the kiss? You said he was not a bad kisser but you felt nothing so what do you speculate is the reason?

[LoveOhm]

Welcome new mamas to the dating thread!!!!!!

[Sagesgirl]

I got another e-mail today; a picture of him with the Vice President! He definitely seems like a nice guy. Pretty good looking. Dark hair, blue eyes. Enough testosterone in his profile picture to juice up a whole baseball team. (OK, just because I can't resist: the pic in question.)

I've also been emboldened to save a few other profiles so I can message the guys when I'm more awake. A little confidence goes a long way, maybe. The only other fellow I corresponded with from OKC for anything more than a message or two was a) quite young (well, my age, but not my maturity level) b) quite far to the left, while I am quite far to the right, and c) a little too interested in getting into my pants. (I love sex, but that doesn't mean I want to have it with just anyone, kwim?)

Eccomama, maybe you're just running into a problem with differing expectations. Also, I do think the internet lets us play around a lot. I know on OKC I can reject a guy and he'll never know it; likewise he can reject me & I'll never know it. Easy on the psyche, maybe, but it also makes it easier, I think, to be wishy-washy.

Beebs, I do agree with Yoginisarah that drama is best to be avoided. You & he want different things, it seems from your narrative. If the sparks are mostly sexual on your part and he's conflicted, I'd honestly drop it and run. It doesn't seem like there's much chance of a good outcome there. Even though you're both separated, if he's casting you as "the other woman," then there's honestly way too much emotional baggage there for it to be worth dealing with. If you were saying you could see yourself spending the rest of your life with him maybe it'd be different. Don't sell yourself short for the first guy to attract you! Maybe the feelings were just dormant and after a brief rush they'll settle down into something more manageable with the help of lots and lots of double-A batteries.

Michelle, I thought the guys on PoF were pretty horny. Maybe that's just 'cause I've got some cleavage going on in my picture over there. (There was that one guy, who sent me like six messages devoted to my chichis.)

I just realized how late/early it is here! I need to go grocery shopping in the morning. We're gonna get doughnuts & read the newspaper over breakfast.